Christmas being 5 days away. More jokes.

Jesus Christ walks into a motel. He hands the Inkeeper three nails and asks "Can you put me up for the night?"

Santa walks into a bar sees one of his toymaking elves hitting the candy cane vodka shot by shot. He looks at him and says "Hey, if you keep drinking that you'll be spewing red white and green." The Elf looks back at him, barely recognizing the jolly fat guy. He says "Mind your damn business you fat....taller elf."

Santa makes his list and checks it twice. He notices Mrs. Claus is on the naughty list. He yells for her to come over. He says "There must be some mistake. You're one of the kindest people I know and there are at least a billion kids way naughtier than you. How could this have happened." Mrs. Claus giggles sounding a little guilty. "Well remember when you went on strike? While you were gone I had an entire orgy of holiday friends. The tooth fairy, she's a biter. The Easter Bunny. An entire definition of speed sex. Father time. That was weird, he kept slowing down and speeding things u-" "I get the picture. Why though?" Santa asked. She looked at him and said "Well tough guy? How come you're not on the list. I saw what you two did on the sleigh. Poor Rudolph had a front row seat." Santa takes one look at her and takes out an eraser. Erasing her name and putting it on the Nice section. In the brackets (Touche).