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CIEIRMusic
Amateur Filmmaker, Author, Cartoonist, Musician and defictionalizer (Finding truth in fiction), mostly here to promote my music to indie developers that need it.

S.T. Musician @CIEIRMusic

Age 32, Male

Part Time Musician,

High School Graduate/Self Taug

Parts Unknown

Joined on 12/13/20

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CIEIRMusic's News

Posted by CIEIRMusic - 13 hours ago


Follow up on this: So Far So Good


I am two days into my medication and I thought I'd do a brief post on how it goes. For context, I take Apo-Escitalopram. Which specifically deals with Anxiety and Depression. While the medication is supposed to take at least a week or two to kick in, I was able to feel some noticeable results. For context, before I was treated, my anxiety was so bad that I would fidget everywhere I go. That started to cease yesterday. Also proving my theory on how addiction is mental, it lowered my cravings for smokes exponentially. As high stress caused me to smoke more due to anxiety. Not to mention, I suffer from what is commonly known as mental chatter. In which I think 1000 thoughts all at once and it's often been the source of irritation for me as I tend to overthink things. That started to lower too. But essentially things are working. Having said that, there have been side effects, on top of the effects of my blood work. I was severely dehydrated, had excessive sweating and I felt more physically tired than usual. Nothing to be concerned about as I was able to get used to it and help whatever I could on it. Let's just say if your parents tell you to drink more water, then fucking drink it.


But long story short, things have gotten better for me, my mind is a lot more clearer and it allows me to focus better on my goals. It's almost like I was given the Limitless Pill. But if it can work on me, it can work on others with similar problems.


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2

Posted by CIEIRMusic - 2 days ago


Managed to make it where I needed to go, to seek therapy. I'm just waiting for when the actual therapist has me on the list. It's a long wait list, but so far so good.


Until then, the Walk-In Center that referred me, prescribed me medication to deal with a huge chunk of my problems. Specifically, Anxiety and Depression. I'm trying it out tonight, but they said I won't see results for 2 weeks. That said, the fact that they gave me something to help, right off the bat, shows I'm going the right direction. If it works, then a lot of my problems personal, professional, mental and even spiritual would be solved.


Part of why it took me so long to seek help, was because while I can safely admit that I do have problems with or without this stuff. I just didn't think I needed it. Even with shit going down for me, I was able to handle things on my own for a long time. 26 years. But in the 27th year of my 32, soon to be 33 year old life, I realized there are certain problems I cannot solve through sheer will alone. It also took me a long time to figure out which problems needed solving, hence why I was able to freely express them including but not limited to suicidal thoughts. Just to see if anyone else whom is getting treated has either improved or made life worse. Just to see if maybe it's a direction I can take.


Now I know I'm going the right direction, because a lot of people I know, save for a select few exceptions, have never treated themselves for it or sought treatment for it. Much like my stance on Vaccines, I respect the religious and even fear of side effects for whatever medicine would get prescribed. Hell the one I'm about to take has side effect warnings. However the one's that often pissed me off are the people whom are so full of themselves that even taking simple treatments, would be to them admitting there was something wrong with them. Even the people I deal with in my neck of the woods would rather take narcotics and kill themselves with booze than seek even the simplest of meds let alone hours, months and even years of therapy that would of taken to get to the root of their problems. They honestly don't believe that that lifestyle is killing them because they think it's good. Me I believe certain Narcotics should be legal, due to both the medicinal and overall life qualities. Up until it became that, I was a firm believer in legalizing Weed, simply because people had so much to deal with that they couldn't afford Prescription Meds, let alone go through the legal bullshit that doesn't qualify them for simply medicinal weed. When it became medicinal in my country before it was legal, Autism wasn't even considered a severity long enough to get prescription and their idea of PTSD meant soldiers only. So needless to say I was fucked.


That being said, problems can't be solved by letting people be more free to use narcotics. They need proper treatment or at the very least proper treatment that caters to one's personality, disorder/s and over all belief system or lack thereof. Christianity, Islam and Judaism alone would have had a lot of problems solved, had they at least had a Psychiatrist, that specializes in their beliefs. Hell, many Doctors have their own beliefs even when their field is mostly science. So why not go that way. It's one of the reasons why I feared going to a shrink myself, because I was worried, my own beliefs would be written off as delusions and I'd receive a worse fate than the prescription meds that would help me. I could care less if they thought I was crazy in what I believe, but at the same time they shouldn't use that as an excuse to forcibly drug or lock up people, whom beliefs aside, went through similar bullshit, based on disorders alone.


That said, I'm no longer afraid of that. I am seeking help when it's available and I got a multitude of things to do while I am going through it. I suggest that anyone whom has not sought treatment over the years of bullshit drama they endured on this site alone to do the same, let alone what they do in their personal lives. If I can do it even after decades of procrastinating, so can you. Admit your problems, seek help and go from there.


Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.


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Posted by CIEIRMusic - 7 days ago


This is the big one, the biggest revelation I ever had in my overall life. Something even with all my talks of the supernatural, time travel and various other things some, but not all believe, I never thought this would be possible, but now that I see it, it's a high probability that my Destiny has been foretold and I'm only now just figuring it out.


I was checking when to see if the next Easter was gonna be in March or April. Not only did I find, that it's happening on both months, but it's not the first time it's happened to me, regarding my own Birthday.


For context, I was born, April 1st 1991. Which obviously is April Fools Day. However, if you look further into that date, it was the last day of Easter Weekend, also known as Easter Monday, in which my Birthday fell upon. I used to joke, that that would mean I have been always a fool, but with God on my side. However, judging by this, I and anyone else born on that exact date and month, are the literal fools with God or whatever they worship at the time on their side.


In my case, post 1991 which I also call my Year Zero, there have been moments in which various things have happened to me, once that Birthdate reaches Easter Monday once more. The second instance of my life was April 1st 2002, when I was 11 years old and the world was 5 months away from the 1 year Anniversary of 9/11. The third instance was in April 1st 2013. I was 22, looking for work and questioning my purpose in life after suffering a major loss for 2 years so far. Now the fourth instance is the one coming up. April 1st 2024. Turning me 33. Now that alone was weird enough that many significant events lead up to before, during and after, the double digits of my life. But after putting these age numbers together, I have discovered that every 11 years between 2002 and 2024, my age has become a master number. In this case, 11, 22 and 33, with the cycle breaking in 2035 when I'm about 44.


In the case of the individual numbers in Numerology they mean as follows

  • 11: Eleven is a sign of enormous power – both mental and physical – and people who embody it often display heightened intuition, natural intelligence, and spiritual insight. Doubling down on the independent, ambitious nature of the number one, those with the master number 11 are thought to be “old souls” with the ability to understand others on a deep, empathetic level. Elevens are in tune with their subconscious and gut feelings but are also balanced and excellent communicators.  As a kid, I felt like I was smarter than even most adults and was able to slowly realize an awareness to many things spiritual. In turn my voice was slowly but surely being heard.
  • 22: The most powerful number of all, 22 is often found in the charts of people who are doers, leaders, and visionary builders.These are individuals who are capable of turning wild dreams into solid accomplishments – blessed with the intuition of the number 11 but possessing a more disciplined approach to action. The special mission of the number 22 is to serve humankind in a practical, progressive way. This was around the time I got involved in a lot of causes, mostly stumbling blindly through them, but fighting where I thought I was right. Granted, even to this day, there were things that could be wrong, but at the same time I felt I was doing the right thing because at the time I thought they mattered. I had many wild dreams and ideas I wanted to do, but at the same time was in no position to achieve them. Hell, my Health Drink was originally inspired by a time I wanted to make an all liquid diet.
  • 33: Thirty-three is the number of someone who is altruistic, humanitarian, and devoted to raising consciousness. Personal ambition takes a back seat to bettering the world. However, make no mistake: These folks do take charge of things! Thirty-threes are out to transform the world’s awareness – and create peace and harmony for all. In my case while I have yet to reach that part of my life, I get the feeling that the 33 years of my life lead me to a moment where everything I went through the past decades, even the stupid shit I've done may come to fruition and pay off in ways even I can't imagine.


And that's just the weird master number side of things. Put the date together 11/22/33 and you got November 22 1933, the day of Bonnie and Clyde's first ambush. The one that was the precursor to their eventual demise as depicted here:


Just to name a random fact in history. I'm sure there are a lot of other 11/22/33s scattered all over centuries worth of events.


Now while it's not on the exact date, The Easter Weekend is the Symbolic Date depicting the Death and Resurrections of Jesus Christ. He too was 33 if you believe in that. So if I make it through this as blasphemous as it would sound, I will have outlived Jesus next year.


However not all is shockingly pleasant. For one, a lot of things cropping up seem to depict the literal end of the world. Now before you panic, let me explain a few things first.


Many depictions of End of The World Events, both in Myth and Fiction often have similar events happening. Such as all the planets being present in Skyview on Earth as well as an upcoming solar eclipse. A lot of it as crazy as it sounds seems to coincide with Revelations 6:12:

"I looked when He opened the sixth seal, and behold, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became like blood."


Famously mistaken for Revelations 7:12 as depicted in Ghostbusters:

However what shocked me about this scene wasn't just them discussing the apocalypse, but Ray slowly realizing that the line of work they created for means of Research and Profit, made them inadvertently tasked with stopping the end of the world.


Now here's one thing that always bothered me regarding the Christian Bible. Revelations was meant to be the last Book of the Bible and in some POVs, the end of all things. The world, The Universe, The Whole 9 Yards. There was nothing written after, because those whom written it since the beginning have long since passed away.


Yet unlike some people whom just dismiss it as the end and leave it at that. I was one of the few people that asked many questions about it.

  1. Is it truly The End?
  2. If not, what happens after?
  3. Will I survive this or die with them?


Just to name a few. However there have been some groups in Christian sects including but not limited to Jehova's Witnesses, that believe it's not the literal end. But rather an end of an old world and the start of something new. Something that has happened before once every 100 years.


In my case, I witnessed 3 decades of things since I was born in the 90s. The end of the 90s, the beginning and end of the 2000s, the beginning and end of the 2010s and just recently I'm near the halfway point of the 2020s. Decades of both good and bad things, with some bad at the time outweighing all the good I try to bring to this world and try to appreciate as well. So needless to say regardless of how much I hated some of it, I realized I did lead a wonderful and interesting life. But now, I think the only apocalypse that could happen is the end of all things that were infecting the world all over. That many people will realize the pointlessness and stupidity of their fighting. That many people would realize the world can be shared. That many people will finally let go at what's eating them, grow up and be better than what they were before good and bad.


This isn't the end of the world, it's the end of the Old World's Status Quo. It will go out kicking and screaming, but everything that has pissed us all off collectively in the past 100 years will finally be resolved one way or another. In ways no one, not even I can imagine. Call it God, Call it Luck, Call it Karma, Hell call it an equation finally balancing itself out for all I care. But I get the feeling the following may happen:


  1. Weird and strange shit will be more exposed.
  2. A lot of people deserving of it, can and will die, be it by their hand another's or the Hand of whatever is up there.
  3. After all the pain and suffering the innocent has went through, all will be relieved and at peace one way or another.


Of course I could be wrong, but at the same time on the off chance I am right, we may be heading for a cataclysm of literal biblical proportions.


But until then, for those whom do believe it may be the end, set your affairs in order, spend time with your loved ones and go out with a smile. For those whom believe it's a new beginning, party your heart out. Pump that positive energy into the world your way. Make some music, make some art. Do anything you can to get the fun out. Treat every day like it's your last.


Myself, I'm gonna see through this until the end. Enjoying life and seeing what mysteries lie beyond this event if any.


Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.


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Posted by CIEIRMusic - 8 days ago


Somewhat inspired by my article on love and leadership.


A month or so ago, I made a quote that depicts how I viewed both in a nutshell. It started with this:


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A canvas quote of my own writing that summed up how far I was willing to go to protect, nurture and save the people I love and care about. Friends, family, true love, you name it. There were no exceptions. To me, while aggressive action could be a sign of leading through hatred, I also believe that true Love Leaders should be tough enough to either fight or at the very least scare off anyone that would get in your way.


So I thought maybe it would look good on a T-Shirt at least:

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But then I thought "Why stop there?" after all Tee-Spring is more than just T-Shirts why not a hoodie?:

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Or event a coffee mug? That would really show how you feel without saying anything:

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I might do the same with my other works, but essentially I'm trying to expand on some things while at the same time find new ways of expressing my brand and myself. And while I've talked crazy before, as most can see, the benefits of saying crazy shit, believable or not, have given me new and creative ideas. Hell I even did a song recently based on the planets being in the sky:


But essentially out of all the quotes I've made over the years, this is the one that resonates with me the most and I hope it resonates well with enough of you, to consider wearing it. It's poetic, yet vulgar. Which was what I was trying to balance out in my work, since a lot of my persona here is Newgrounds based.


But I hope you enjoy the design. Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.


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Posted by CIEIRMusic - 9 days ago


As I mentioned before regarding race, I love and hate everyone equally. There are merits and flaws in every race and part of how we need to survive is to find more merits than faults. However, one thing I understand over the years is that one of the main causes of racism is what is commonly known as blood purity. Now if I were to just mention white people, there'd not be enough characters to talk about their puritan desires alone. But to summarize, they were the most guilty of it because depending on the nationality, they try to keep things in their "POV" pure. However sometimes not even other white people are safe from them. Such as the Irish. The only White Race that can boast at being called the N word. It's one of the reasons I hate that word and never want to say it. As I am Part Irish. But that's a small part of many races in my own blood stream.


That being said, White People aren't the only race that believes in Blood Purity, they just happen to be the majority. The other known races all over have dabbled in it once and a while which ironically unites them all on the one common goal: They hate Mixed Races.


While nowadays humans of mixed races are a dime a dozen, when I was a kid, Blood Purity was practically enforced, my Generation wasn't a pioneer of it as there have been mixes before and after mine, however it was enforced upon me because while Canada is multicultural, they were still predominantly White, Christian and Straight.


For context, my background is Scottish, Irish, English, Scandanavian and Ojibwe. Yet as a kid I was considered "White enough." to the Whites and "Too White." to everyone else. There was a deep part inside of me that didn't quite fit in, until I grew up around others like me. Those whom had no native blood in their system and were just genuine assholes, treated me no different than a minority, while those with Full Native Blood, save for a few friends and family, treated me as at best just another white kid or at worst an abomination. A mixture of their race and the races that enslaved them. It wasn't until the residential school incident, that I was appreciated for what I was, not that I would ride the coat tails of innocent children dying. However that's just me.


There are those whom are part Scottish and part Jamaican that are treated just as bad if not worse as one side sees them as "Too Black" while the other sees them as "Not Black Enough". It sickens me either way. There are those whom you wouldn't even know had an African Background, because they don't look African in the eyes of both Racists and Puritans.


Yet save for a few posts on the internet, not a single one of them ends up a news story on their tragic death. They just label them the race they see and move on. If the mix looked more white, it'd be just another White Death. If the mix looked more of the other side, it'd just be fodder for the many protest groups trying to get their 15 minutes of fame either pointing out ONLY that part of the race or debating whether or not the person ever really was of that race.


Hell some of these groups like BLM, are so into the Puritan bullshit that if a black person shows a more paler shade despite them only having one Background or Nationality, even they aren't deemed "Black Enough." for them. Safe to say that racism and anti-racism, has become nothing more than a tight wad of bullshit that is so ridiculous it's kinda funny.


There are people out there, whom aren't just one race, whom show appreciation in one way or another for every culture they are apart of and outside their own culture. While others do take advantage of it too much as South Park once boasted:


Not everyone is like them. A lot of us are oddballs, trying one way or another to find our place in the world and honestly. The world would be better off if we got noticed just as much as those that deem themselves pure. Hell just to cut the BS, not a lot of the so called pure in either way are even "Pure" to begin with. On the side of White Racists, especially those related to Slave Owners, at least some of their kids have an African background, considering that slaves on top of being used as Labour were used as breeding stock. So jokes on you, you are the race you hated. Of course there's the other side of the coin, those related to slaves, either through said breeding or sometime after they're free intermingled with other races. So congratulations, you're not as pure as you claim to be.


Hell I only know my nationality off by heart, for all I know it could go deeper than that, I could have races or other nationalities that I don't even know about.


Point being is that, mixed races have just as right to have a say and a place in the world as everyone else and it's high time they get noticed often, because let's face it. Nothing last forever and neither does no one.


Take Care, Stay Safe and Stay Tuned For More.


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Posted by CIEIRMusic - 9 days ago


Probably one of the weirdest questions. First off, rest assured, I'm ok. My Holiday rant aside, I actually am having good days. A couple of rough patches, but good days so far.


I was just getting up in a bizarrely early morning. When for some reason while Marathoning the Buu Bits on DBZ Abridged. (RIP Akira Toriyama, you were a huge staple in my childhood. Hated some of the Buu Saga, but never held it against you. Only regret is not travelling to Japan to meet you, but if there is a memorial of him I would like to pay my respects.) At the same time for some reason this scene from The Breakfast Club was on my brain:



Specifically the scene where they have the detention equivalent to a group therapy session. One of the things that they talk about is their hidden talents. Such as the Goth Girl being able to write and play piano with her feet, Brian being able to cook a mean spaghetti and Claire being able to put lipstick on her using the strap of her bra.


It made me realize that myself and a lot of other people have that one or more hidden talent, skill or hobby, that they never told anyone or at the very least not told them all about it. In my case I'll list my talents:


  1. I'm an amateur filmmaker, looking for the right movie to submit to a film festival. Got a story, just not much else.
  2. I investigate paranormal stuff on the side. It's one of the reasons I stay in my town, because on top of it's high crime rate, it's one of many parts of Canada, that has a shit load of UFO and Ghost Stories. Some of which I have witnessed.
  3. Part of why I love fiction and I'm somewhat good at writing it in my stories, is that I use Semi-Biographical elements. It's a form of expressionism similar to Gojira and the works of Hunter S. Thompson. I use real things in my life, but exaggerate the rest, giving an air of mystery on what my readers and viewers believe is real or otherwise. And in terms of enjoying fiction, I have an uncanny empathic ability to put myself in the shoes of not just relatable characters, but also other characters, based on understanding story and personality traits.
  4. One secret to my workout is that I have been walking around many areas in Steel Toe Construction Boots for added resistance. I been wearing them for 3 months now so my legs are strong enough to run in them to the point where I can run faster if I switched to shoes. So basically I figured out a way to invent Super Speed.
  5. I am able to appear and disappear on a whim, if anyone saw me walking the streets and looked away once, I was already gone. Some people thought I was stalking them, because I've mastered it to the point where I can pop up everywhere I go. Similar to Instant Transmission. That scared the hell out of me, because as far as I was concerned I was merely walking around many places and people just happen to see me.
  6. Due to my disorder, my senses are dialed up. Which is good because it allows me to see, hear, smell, feel and taste more acutely, but the downside is, they're so sensitive that any overload could harm me physically.
  7. When I get mad, I don't feel pain in a fight. Just recently two months ago, without even fighting back, I did get beat up in the face so badly, that I was bleeding. Yet instead of crying, begging or at least saying ow, I just kept threatening the guy. I didn't feel it until my anger subsided and even then all it felt was annoyingly sore.
  8. I think outside the box a lot, which allows me to come up with new ideas.
  9. Finally, my memory capacity is so good, that I have a section for my favourite music section so great, it's like playing a jukebox in my head.


And that's just a small few of what I can do. I have many and try to extend my palette on that one.


However while my talents are great, somewhat impossible to believe and borderline scary to some based on the context of where I got them, I know I'm not the only one with hidden talents.


Each and every one of you has that one talent, skill or hobby, that you haven't told anyone. It could be something you know, that your circle doesn't. Or it could be something that others know, but you're the best at it. The sky is the limit on that.


If it's something you can do very well, I suggest you apply it to your overall life. Personal and professional. It's high time the world knows what you're all made of.


In my case, I've only begun to realize what I can do, regardless of how crazy it sounds. A lot of you have something special about you, that will help the rest of you, fall into place and get a better chance at a better life.


Don't let your potential go to waste.


Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.


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Posted by CIEIRMusic - 11 days ago


Picking up where this leaves off:

St. Patrick's Day Gets a Bad Rep


This Holiday and the others often had the same problem, that most people see it as too commercial and less heartwarming. Not worth celebrating, because not worth spending money on. To me, Holidays are a chance to take the day or month off depending on the length and use it to spend time doing whatever the hell I want. Whether getting drunk and having fun at a local bar. Or getting high and spending quality time with my friends and family. Presents and other forms of gifts and merchandise that comes with it, are mere amusements and thoughtful gifts to me. Same with the shows that lead to it. South Park for example, wasn't meant to knock St. Patrick's day, it was mostly an elaborate joke at the expense of Butters. That no matter what he did, he'd always get into trouble, whether he meant it or not. With him doing community service for a St. Patrick's Day Pinch only to find their version of St. Patrick, to be more vulgar and lewd, was just Trey Parker and Matt Stone, giving the mother of all craps on Butters before he grew a spine and stood up for himself. Then you have the Simpson's Episode, where a party goes so bad, that they prohibit booze.


Of course that merely covers one holiday, but if you want a good example of a Holiday that was accused of Commercialism, long before Commercialism savagely took over this modern world? Charlie fucking Brown:


Made in 1965, just when the commercial aspect of that holiday was just beginning to bother people even though they were few and in between. All poor Charlie wanted to know, was what Christmas was really about, without commercialism in the way and the Peanuts save for Linus treated him like dirt over it. Linus explained where it came from at the time and it reignited Charlie Brown's Christmas Spirit. Symbolized by this fucking tree:


That's what Charles Schultz was trying to tell us all along when he was making that special. Charlie Brown is his Author Avatar. The character that is based around the creator. Meaning he went through a lot of shit Charlie Brown went through, just to find the secrets to living a good life.


There have been many specials before and after that either delve into the mythos of the respective holidays. Some with more heartwarming moments like the Rankin Bass Specials of old. Some so creative it's scary like Trick R' Treat and Krampus. As well as the iconic Warwick Davis starring horror series Leprechaun:


But a lot of them in between, often say "Buy our shit or you're not really celebrating." And it isn't just the Western Holidays. All over the world, Holidays have been capitalized one way or another and depending on the place, it's often been either very good or very bad for it. On the good side, it gives those without jobs a chance to shell things out for a few bucks. On the bad side, it means they have to contribute to rotting the holidays out.


To me, Holidays are merely breathers, a chance to relax, unplug and unwind until reality comes crashing in the next business day or week or month. How you do it, is up to you, but at the same time if you're not having fun along the way, then it's not a holiday. It's work and you know what they say:


You have the rest of the year to be dull. You only have a once in a while chance to have fun and let loose. Hell if the holidays you celebrate aren't good enough for you, then make your own. Find something you like and make a day out of it, provided a day wasn't made about it already. Hell lot's of fictional writers from Gene Roddenberry to George Lucas, made their own respective universes have their own holidays. Pon Farr for Star Trek and Life Day for Star Wars. And they made shit loads of money on the commercial aspect of it, without even trying. Yet if that wasn't the main thing, odds are they probably would have made the holidays anyway for mere kicks. Hell Seinfeld even had a made up Holiday. Festivus:


When I saw that, I first thought George's Dad was just fucking nuts. Didn't help they had an actor known for playing Crazy Old Guys. But now, I think he's on to something. Festivus while a crazy holiday, was the day everyone was able to air out their grievances. Which to be honest, is very healthy because a lot of us keep shit bottled up inside. While George and his family are Jewish, it's not a holiday based on religion, so everyone can celebrate it. It was like he was a pioneer of a new form of anger management. It allowed you to air out your shit, while having to listen to theirs.


Come to think of it, there should be a Festivus.


But ya, if you can't celebrate the holidays on there, make your own. The sky's the limit.


Everyone needs a breather. Take yours.


Until then, take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.


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Posted by CIEIRMusic - 11 days ago


ST. Patrick's Day has often been on the fence recently and honestly I think it should stop. Some see it as a white only holiday, which is bullshit, as the phrases is "Everyone is Irish on St. Patrick's Day." And I don't know if you noticed, but mixed races count and when they say "Everyone is Irish on St. Patrick's Day." It's the Irish way of saying "Everyone is equal in my eyes on this day." Others see it as an insult to Gingers, due to the imagery of Leprachauns having red hair and pale skin. Hello? Assholes? Most of Ireland's populace was the result of Scotland intermingling with them. You want to blame the Ginger bullshit on someone, blame them for not keeping it in their pants.


But the one thing I could not stand, was when they badmouth St. Patrick himself, simply because he was Catholic. Now there are a lot of things wrong with the Catholic Doctrine, but not the saints that started it and FYI, St. Patrick was Pagan first. The "Snakes" he scared away weren't the literal, they were people and things that filled the land with deceit. If he were alive today and saw what the Catholic Church was doing, he'd do to it what Jesus did to the Marketplace:


Point being is, you don't have to be Irish to celebrate it, you don't have to be Catholic to celebrate it, you don't even have to celebrate it. All you have to do is wear green, maybe get drunk and have a good time. All that bullshit is set aside and the parties should begin. Have some fun, play some music, hell go out somewhere and stargaze, whatever floats your boat. Point being is that this is a day where we don't dramatize ourselves and actually have some fucking fun.


So:


HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY MOTHERFUCKERS!!!


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Posted by CIEIRMusic - 12 days ago


First of all I want to apologize if some of my fans or any onlookers of my previous articles thought I was nuts. It's fine if you do and I don't give a damn, but at the same time, your opinion.


However what I am about to say, is a little crazy compared to what I've mentioned before, but at the same time also very sane.


Over the years, ever since we were all kids, we were often told of the following things. On one hand we were often told that certain people or places are bad influences. On the other hand, whenever we do things so stupid or dangerous that screw things up with us in the long run, we get no sympathy because the same people tell us it was our choice to do it. I always found it odd regarding the flip flop of it all.


If anything I thought the choice thing was bullshit depending on the circumstances.


For example, someone who does drugs, chooses to do so in the end. That's just how it is. However, what is it that often allows them to choose? Is it the freedom of it or is it because they caved into peer pressure.


Myself, there have been things I did choose to do good and bad, which I had no excuse for as I did them. However, that being said, it doesn't mean that sometimes I was not influenced by something or someone.


Other times the choice is made for me behind my back, due to circumstances beyond my control and yet despite all evidence to the contrary, those that chose for me make the bullshit claim that I chose to do things.


Case in point, I never asked to move into the town I moved into 27 years ago. Yet because I continue to stay, even those that dragged me there against my will tell me it's my choice, because I choose to stay. Back then, I just wanted to go back to my home town as it was more peaceful and I probably would have had a better life. Granted a boring one, but a better one.


Yet when I lived there long enough, there were things in my life that made me hesitant to leave. First, making new friends and meeting new family. Second, the good and bad sides of the town, piqued my curiosity and my sense of adventure. There was so much to do, so much to see and so much to explore. And up until now I always thought I chose to see it. Yet now in the back of my mind, I feel like be it by human, deity, time or simply the temptation of sight, I feel like a lot of it was chosen for me. That somehow the town had some kind of living soul that just kept pointing me in different directions all my life. As a kid, parents and even teachers whom were not aware of my Asperger's syndrome at the time and merely thought I was suffering from ADHD, complained about my wanderings around even a small area like a classroom. And I myself wondered why I did that. Hell even to this day I wander around. Exploring the streets to see if there is something or someone new. Expanding my travel palette, by going outside the boundaries of my town to see if there's stuff I haven't seen yet. Such as the PATH downtown.


Yet it often was the result of people showing me things I haven't heard of, seen or even remember being in. While I choose to explore these places, I often felt a pull towards them when it was time to explore them. And that's just the line between choice and influence regarding my travel plans.


There are a lot of lines between choices and influences:

  1. We choose whether or not to do drugs, but peer pressure is what influences it.
  2. We choose whether or not to get into fights, yet outside influences would goad towards the whether, by calling us names like "Coward", "Chicken" and "Pussy".
  3. We choose whether or not we should get rich or poor. Yet we are influenced by those with a view of which one is better or worse.


The only thing we often have no choice on, is whether or not we want to die. As Death comes in all forms. Disease, Accident, Murder, Famine, you name it. Death comes for us all. Yet, whether it's a slow death or a quick death is a mix of choice and influence.


Some choose to keep living, despite an incurable disease killing them, because they want to soak up as much as life as they can. With the only influence, being the friends and family being the direct influence on whether or not they should just live or die.


Others choose to die, despite having so much to live fore, because they feel either nothing is left or all their struggles were for nothing. With the influence being the empty feeling one feels inside or people whom would benefit from their death, using words to bring them down. "Go ahead. Do it. The world doesn't want you. You're not special. You're not unique. You're just a piece of shit like the rest of us." And so on.


I seen it many times in many forms and at one point, whenever I feel that something terrible has happened as the result of Influence outweighing choice, I get countered with them saying it was nothing but choice. I don't believe that.


I believe that every decision in our life depends on which side outweighs the scale. For example, someone already a drug addict, just heard of a new drug, is hesitant, but the environment surrounding them, the addictions cropping up and the other people doing it and coercing them, make them more inclined to choose to do so.


It's one of the reasons why I believe addiction is Physical, Mental, Emotional, Environmental and Spiritual.


But the environment is the most triggering of them all. One could literally live in a hut off the grid and be less tempted to do the stupid shit others do in a developed part of the world. It's influence is so strong, that even the most saintly of people succumb to it and become broken and worse people.


I myself have tried to be an example that no matter the environment, I would always be ok, as I wouldn't let it get to me. The influence not having as strong as a pull towards the dark sides of life. Yet no matter where I go, those dark sides continue to follow me and try to influence me. Trying to plant seeds in my head regarding the people I care about, hurting innocent people and to top it off, when all is said in done, I get blamed whether I choose to get involved or not. Why? Because I don't do the things that others do, nor do I want to and they can never understand why.


They can never understand why I was able to be above the influence and move on with my life no matter what shit was thrown at me. Hell I just found out that certain people in my personal life, have done horrible things both directly and indirectly to the people I care about. Including but not limited to finding out a loved one of mine was most likely murdered despite evidence to the contrary. Said loved one was someone that wasn't easy for me to get along with, mainly because I was disappointed that the person would rather waste their potential on hard drugs and alcohol. Only to find out that despite that, they found themselves in an environment where they were given something worse and it eventually killed them. Needless to say I was pissed, saddened and severely depressed. To the point where I had to double my efforts into finding therapy.


Part of why it's difficult for me, is despite my disorder, I'm a statistic. They seen those like me before with similar disorders, similar lives. But never take the time to address individuals' wants, needs and desires regarding said therapy. I was worried that I'd just be dismissed at best or make even the best Shrinks quit their jobs. That they'd rather drug me up than actually find help for me. They can handle the disorder, but they can't handle me as an individual. And that influences my choice to whether or not I want help. That said, I choose to continue to seek it, because I do believe there is a chance there is someone out there that puts the person first and the disorder second. Someone or something out there that has more answers than even the most advanced Psychiatrists could ever hope to achieve. With the only influence guiding me, being friends and family concerned for my wellbeing even if some don't believe what I'm going through.


The things I want and desire, at this point in my life is to live the rest of my life in peace, with nothing else to do, but hang out with as many friends and family as well as the person I love, with no drama, no hassle, nothing but peace.


Yet according to the modern world, it's not an easy thing to choose or influence. Since so many people and I'm no exception are constantly at each other's throats. I'm sick of having so much hate in my heart, that I could barely love. I'm sick of having difficulty sleeping and even more difficulty dreaming. I'm sick of seeing bad people do bad things and good people getting so corrupt by it, that they consider doing bad things as well.


Truth be told, I am sick of the modern world. The people before their dependence on it, didn't have much, but they at least had each other. This net, while a great tool, was never meant to be a hold on life. Merely a way of making life a little easier, but at the cost of lack of interaction in person. And to me, it's one of the worst influences I have ever come across.


When I started out, I never wanted to fight anyone, just promote my music and hope to move forward from there. Yet so much drama and bullshit and bad influences, swept over me that this became a crutch rather than a small aid. I got into many fights on the net over the years. Said many nasty things, some I regret, some I don't. But as I grow up I realize one thing:


This is all extremely stupid and we need to stop.


When it started out, I used to like sites like this, but they are now a constant reminder that others have it better than me whether they deserve it or not.


So with my own influence I implore you to choose. Live real life or live the rest of your lives wasting away to nothing, staring at a screen. Where you go from there, is a choice I leave to you.


I think it's high time we need to change and if the net doesn't like it, it can go fuck itself.


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Posted by CIEIRMusic - 2 weeks ago


It's not just time travel. That's only the side effect of it. It's a small piece of a bigger event.


Throughout the time good things started happening to me I always started consulting horoscopes more often. A lot of the signs were pointing one direction. A very good direction. However it wasn't without obstacle, both on and offline I struggled through a lot of bullshit. Both important and insignificant. It was why I was having mood swings. I had trouble letting go of the past while I was trying to move on with my life. Even current pasts. Those were the hardest. Then I realized why they were pointing the direction despite my moments being borderline hopeless. Zodiacs aren't just fortune telling things you see in a newspaper or on the net. They are also a means of letting people know which celestial bodies are in play, by the alignment of the planets, stars, moons, things like that. For example if Venus was anywhere near Earth, that would increase the Love Energy. Hence why couples score more when Venus is around. In this case after looking into a horoscope, it told me that as I type this, every single planet in our solar system is currently in view of the sky.


Over the years, I had stargazing as a hobby and most of the time the planets were so far, that they looked like different color stars to me. If it was blood red, I'd be seeing Mars. Other times there are moments where the planet's natural illumination reflects off the moon. Such as the time I saw Mars reflected, giving it a bright red/orange glow. This was something I never expected to witness in all the years I've lived, walked my neighbourhood and looked up to the sky day and night. If one planet near Earthview can cause one energy, then the others could contribute.


According to this:

  1. Mars, Aries, Strength.
  2. Taurus, Venus, Love
  3. Gemini, Mercury, Communication.
  4. Cancer, Moon, The Mind.
  5. Leo, Sun, The Soul.
  6. Virgo, Mercury, Communication.
  7. Libra, Venus, Love.
  8. Scorpio, Mars, Strength.
  9. Saggitarius, Jupiter, Religion.
  10. Capricorn, Saturn, Justice.
  11. Aquarius, Saturn, Justice.
  12. Pisces, Jupiter, Religion.


And that's just the short version of it. Basically each planet by itself, represents a great raw energy. Strength, Love, Communication, The Mind, The Soul, Religion and Justice. When only one of these is near Earth, that one aspect is heightened more. As said before, Venus, representing love. When all are in play, every single energy is not only in place, but combining into one unstoppable force that cannot be quantified by either science or superstition. This is straight up Lovecraftian like.


But that's not all. Going back to Time Travel, there was one of many movies in which planet alignment was the result of time Travel Gone Wrong:


Yes it's a dumb comedy, but even it was smart enough to use that as a symbol of time and space being out of wack.


But essentially what I am about to say, will shock, disbelieve and even probably scare the living crap out of you. It's not only something Supernatural, but it's the cause down to a science.


As most of you know, I am into manifestation. Basically the idea that I set my mind in a different setting and whatever I want naturally comes to me. In my case, good things as I mentioned before have lately become pin point accurate for me. To the point where if it keeps up, the possibilities in where my practical life is going will be endless. Through a friend of mine, a wiccan, whom also thought I was nuts when I mentioned time travel, but was an expert on the field of all things magic and paranormal, told me that the people I may have seen travel from different parts of time and space, are not merely travelling through time and space, but "Jumping" as she put it. See this is what I do on my spare time, I'm an amateur Paranormal Investigator, I look into weird stuff and see if it's real it's in the name of the acronym of CIEIR. Could It Exist In Real-life? That includes searching the unknown for answers.


Anywho, what I am getting at is, that this particular manifestation technique is so old that geniuses like Albert Fucking Einstein have been working on the theories of it alone. It's called:


Quantum Jumping Manifestation


It is a form of manifestation in which if you're in the right mindset, you can jump from one reality to another, hoping the next one will get better. It can be done in many ways and as I type this, I am listening to what's known as a Brainwave Entrainment Frequency. Stuff like Binaural Beats, but it's more rooted in meditation. In this case, once I found out it was Quantum Jumping I went straight to the nearest free frequency for it. There's a lot on youtube, but I prefer this:


It turns out a lot of people I've known in my life have been doing it in small doses one way or another. Finding minor success, yielding major fortune that would set them for a few years to say the least. I've been trying to find out for years, how they been able to do it, because they somehow managed to get successful, even when the odds were stacked against them. You probably seen it with some of your friends or family at one point or another. Imagine this scenario.


You're walking with a crazy family member of yours, he or she does things that are by all standards extremely abnormal. Yet somehow said family member despite talking nonsense, goes to different moods and is downright so insane, you don't take them seriously. Only to find they somehow managed to find some kind of success, like say make a few thousand dollars in a day or finding the right place to go, when they needed a specific item. The main reaction being. "HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT?!" As it turned out a lot of it, was the result of the following.

  1. Will.
  2. Intent.
  3. Prayer.
  4. Action.
  5. Luck.
  6. Love.
  7. Strength.
  8. Courage

Just to name a few aspects. They often come in small doses, but by the time you want to know, suddenly they're down in the dumps or just moderately successful. It turns out, it was because the planets were aligned in a way, that it gave them a boost of their most positive trait. Like for example a lover powered by Venus, would be a better lover. A warrior powered by Mars would be a stronger warrior. But that was just when one or two planets are at play. Those same people as well as those like myself, just figuring it out now, are figuring it out when all the planets are out there. It's a mass awakening. Whatever abilities people had, but were rusty, will come back 10 fold. The planet itself from the smallest germ to the most dominant of animal species are getting stronger, faster and smarter. We are basically in more plainer speech, evolving in ways we could not imagine.


To put a pin on this, basically every thought, prayer, action, will and intent will come true to those whom have been doing it, all over the world. Every spell cast by a wiccan, will be stronger. Every prayer from the Abrahamic Religions, will be answered. Even the very natives, whom call out to a great spirit, will finally get the answer to their call. The things that were once deemed impossible are now possible and while this did scare me at first. I welcome it.


I welcome it because I believe it will finally bring a positive change to a world that was so much in the dark the past 100 years, will finally be brought into the light.


It's an amazing feeling and I honestly hope you guys can feel what I feel one way or another, because you'll find a very strange, yet very welcoming happiness.


Take care, Stay Safe, Stay Tuned For More.


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