One thing I was fond of growin up, was what I like to call Swear Bait songs. For those who don't know what I mean, they are songs that are a rhyme scheme, that makes the listener think the singer is swearing. The most famous being, Miss Susie. However my faves out of them are Old English Folk Song, which the late great Bob Saget covered in his Standup "That Ain't Right." As well as South Park's Mrs. Landers, sung by Stan's on again off again girlfriend Wendy Testaburger. I like them because they seem more risque than the first song. The best thing about them is that regardless of how you do it, the song is easy to make lyrics out of. Allow me to Demonstrate:

A long time ago in a far away Dock.

The sailors were sitting there stroking their...

Cats and their Dogs while they wait at the shore.

Along came their wives whom they think they are....

Nice and reliable, they know what to say.

You think with how close they are they might be....

Friends and good neighbours who have all their backs.

A sailor is under the docks smoking....

Pipes and cigars after a long day with fish.

The first mate is starboard and taking a.....

Break from swabbing the deck down on his luck.

Would do anything for a really good.....

Time with his wife and his kids without lie.

If you do not like it then fuck off and die.

I encourage each and every one of you to come up with your own.