CIEIR NEWS:
Local News. World News. Entertainment News. Jokes
Letter from the Editor:
As I prepare to celebrate the holiday coming up, I've noticed that even when things are at their bleakest, some how things turn out good in the end. For a while I only saw the holidays as merely a break from the harshness and cold reality of life. A temporary reprieve from all the woes. Now, I think of them as how life should always be like. Regardless of whether or not the circumstances that lead to our lives were out of our control, we shouldn't use the holidays as an excuse to take time off said circumstances, but rather use it as an example that said circumstances should literally have no power over you. We feel obligated, whether it's Christmas, Thanksgiving or any other holiday regardless of upbringing, to only be nice to each other and care for each other a few times a year. What a crock of shit. Why should Kindness be regulated to just that when it can literally happen every day, with even the most minimal of efforts being just as good as something grand. I'm not saying you all should drop your responsibilities. Lord knows, that people still need to live life in order to enjoy what it has to offer. I am saying though is that it wouldn't kill you to extend what you feel the holidays are about, beyond the obligated date. I suggest you think on that one for a while.
Local News
ODSP Raise Divides Ontario
As most people in Ontario know, as of the end of last September, the Ontario Disability Support Program or ODSP finally got their annual increase back after 4 years. The rate now %5 per year in order to coincide with the increase of rent and inflation. Some Ontarians see it as a welcome relief in light of all the shit that's happened the past 2 years. Others such as the ODSP Action Coalition see it as not enough. Personally, I believe we should be glad it's here in the first place, but on the other hand doing the math I do see their point. The only thing I can say is hopefully it at least sticks. But I am so glad that Crackhead Ford finally caved on that one.
World News
Putin's Own Generals Threaten To Overthrow Him
In about a few months it'd be one year since Putin invade Ukraine. Despite Annexing 4 regions, talk around the town is that Putin's actually weakening and the soldiers have a chance to drive the Russian Army out. However let's just say not all is well in Putin's homefront. Rumors have circulated that Putin is contemplating Nuking Ukraine in an effort to get the last laugh. However another rumor surfaced, that should Putin ever even remotely THINK of ordering a nuclear strike, the Generals of the Russian Army will foster a coup against him. Oh gee if only someone predicted this would happen, maybe Putin would have gotten out ok......oh wait someone did:
Not so ridiculous now is it? I knew that if anyone was gonna turn against Putin that it would be his own army. I just only assumed the privates would get involved, up until now I had no idea even his own Generals. Guys whom have probably served that Army before, during and what seems to be after Putin's reign, would be sick of him. The world is getting smaller for you isn't it Vlady. Hehehe. Fuck you.
Entertainement News:
Newgrounds News:
@cerealgutz is currently available for requests today and tomorrow which can be seen here.
The Newgrounds Halloween Spooktakcular is upon us once more. The deadline of course being October 31st. Enter if you're interested.
Big Shout Out To @LiteralHat for announcing their annual HatTober which can be seen right here.
Hollywood News:
For this one I am only focusing on one news story.
The first trailer for the Super Mario Bros. Movie has just been released which can be seen here:
Just kidding it's right here:
Now a lot of people despite having movie more accurate to the games, have some greivances against the movie. Mainly the cast. Up until this trailer some of those greivances were over. No one expected Jack Black to make a great Bowser, until this. However the main gripe is Chris Pratt and Charlie Day not only taking the roles of Mario and Luigi from legendary Mario actor Charles Martinet, but their biggest gripe is that neither Chris nor Day is gonna attempt the trademark high pitched somewhat stereotypical Italian accent. Personally I know where you're coming from. I grew up playing the games too. First I played was the NES Cartidge that came with Duckhunt:
However, contrary to popular belief it wasn't racism or cancel culture that made this decision. In fact the Deep voice brooklyn accent Mario is a lot older than you think. The whole thing started out in 1989, when DiC Entertainment wanted to cash in on the popularity and impact Super Mario Bros. brought to the gaming industry and kids everywhere. As a result they made this:
The Super Mario Brother's Super Show. Starring WWF Legend Captain Lou Albino as Mario and former Jefferson's cast member Danny Wells as Luigi. The show was divided between Live Action Segments which involved the daily antics of Mario Bros. Plumbing which had many guest stars including but not limited to DiC's own Inspector Gadget:
But then had animated adventures, based mainly on The U.S. version of Super Mario Bros. 2, also known as Doki-Doki Panic in Japan. Eventually the show also paved it's way for two cartoons based on the later games as well as a Legend of Zelda Cartoon which would replace the show every Friday. You know the one I'm talking about:
This along with the Brothers being from Brooklyn later got incorperated in the infamous 1993 movie starring Bob Hoskins as Mario and John Leguizamo as Luigi. Despite the backlash received from game fans on that one, Mario creator Shigeru Miyamoto loved the movie for it's creativity and even incorperated some elements of it into his later games. Such as Toad's Turnpike on Mario Kart 64. You look at that and tell me it's not based on the chase scene of the old movie. Anywho, no one hated on them for doing it even long after the show became reruns and Martinet took over. This movie is gonna do just fine succeed or fail.
Jokes
For this segment of Jokes, I'm doing halloween ones. One not mine, but someone has to bring back the classics, but the other two are my creation. Try to guess which one.
- A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer.....and a mop.
- In our world: Three Kids are coming home from trick or treating. They open their bags and check their candy, finding razor blades, needles and other disasters. They wisely tell their parents. Meanwhile in opposite land: Treat-or-Trickers: Chocolate? Lollipops? Twizzlers? What the fuck is this? Where's the Razor Blades, the Syringe's? WHERE'S THE POISON GODDAMMIT!!! Their parents lock the door in their room so they don't hear them complain more.
- Frankenstein's Monster, Dracula and The Wolfman walk down the street they see all these kids and adults dressed as them partying and going for treats. Dracula is confused and says "I read on the news that it's no longer appropriate for people to wear costumes if you're not part of the race of the character you dress up as." Frankenstein's monster chimes in "Yeah, so." To which the Wolfman says "He's got a point, I identify as part Cainine, you're half-dead and German and Drake here is a Romanian Vampire. So many people go up in arms about a redhead dressing up as Mulan, yet don't bat an eye when they are basically wearing our skin over their bodies. Progressive my full moon."
NGL these one's are kinda lame, but I get a good chuckle out of them.
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