So far in the first 7 days of this month, there has been no sign of any drama in my personal life. Which is good, because if I can make it a week, I can make it longer. Yet here's where things get strange. I'm not sure, if it's merely my brain evolving or maturing or if maybe something supernatural is at play, but the people I've had problems with have started to become less than nothing to me. For context, whenever I pass them by, they say anything to piss me off and pick a fight with them. Normally I would react, simply because their words are disgusting, but I ignore them. However as I ignore them, I noticed something. At least in my perspective, their words became less coherent. It was like whatever they said was becoming "Blah Blah Blah" to me. Not only that, but they're sounding like their voices are fading, like a volume button slowly turning down.
While I was happy that they didn't bother me as much as they used to, I was thinking "Why now?"
It wasn't until I realized recently that I got my answer. Whether it's through my own subconscious or maybe something really supernatural has been occurring lately, but essentially to put it lightly, it was like they were being Erased From Existence.
It was then and there I realized something. Years ago, I was at a very low point and did something very bad to myself to cause a drug trip so horrifying, that I never did that again. Bluntly speaking, I was trying to get a spiritual vision, similar to how Chavez gave one to Billy The Kid and the Regulators. With just as similar, but not so funny results. Let's just say I got one. Among most things I saw, I saw that if I didn't change my life then and there, I'd be erased from existence. I don't fear death. If it's my time to go, it's my time to go. What I feared most of all, was that the legacy I leave behind was not gonna be a good one. I feared that people would remember me for all the negative stuff in my life and the negative stuff I perpetuated. I feared that in all essence, that people would forget about me long after I'm gone. Not everyone fits in the history books. To the point where no one would even know my name.
Death is merciful compared to that.
However, while it took me 4 years to sort out my personal bullshit, which some still needs cleaning up. I was able to, do a lot better than those that haven't hit rock bottom yet. Even saving others from the same fate I thought was waiting for me. Then I realized, the people I am against, both on and offline. They're still stuck. They never changed their ways and are gonna continue to destroy themselves or each other, if they keep going the way they are going. They are not only dying from it, but barely anyone remembers them even if they met them a few minutes ago. They were being erased. My personal fear, became their undoing. And I've never been happier.
Sooner or later, even if it takes months to a year, these people will cease to exist and I will continue living my own life to the fullest. They were my biggest obstacle in my life and I overcame them. They may claim victory because I never fought them, but I claim the ultimate win because as long as I stay away from them, they got no one to hurt but themselves. Others in my area have finally gotten wise to them, they want nothing to do with them. They're all alone, old and done for. They can't even stand each other. They are just a bunch of fucking clowns. They don't even exist to me. I could go on.
Point being is sometimes ignoring them does work and part of why it's so hard often, is because it takes too long. However as the old saying goes. "Good things come to those who wait." I waited 27 years for my life to balance itself out and the only thing that was dragging me back was people like that. But the shackles have finally worn out. I've begun to feel free.
For the first time in my whole rotten life, it feels good. It feels good to not have to deal with this bullshit anymore, knowing that it's no longer a priority to me. It never even was, I just had to grow up more, to see the results I never seen as a kid. I've been losing weight and getting healthier, becoming more active, exploring worlds I never explored before just for the hell of it, loosened up, had fun and all around have had good days in a row, without hinderance. All I had to do was simply wait and just in time too, because in 4 weeks, I will have officially lived to see my next birthday. Which is a common goal among even the most fallen of souls.
If I, a stubborn, 32 year old, soon to be 33 year old autistic man, who's put up with bullshit both on and offline for 26 - 27 years, could get out of this funk after a long battle against it. So can you. Enjoy life, ignore things that don't take priority and just simply live until you see the results. Some come quick, some take a life time, but all are worth it.
Take care, Stay Safe and Stay Tuned For More.