I realized now while I am happy that part of the reason happy things were freaking me out lately, was because my body, mind and spirit were counting down to a rare event that is gonna happen tomorrow. A total Solar Eclipse is happening tomorrow. I don't know what is gonna happen afterwards, but I just know what I have to do beforehand. I gotta keep living my life, avoid as much drama as I could and enjoy the time I have while I still can.

Now much of the reason why although I appreciate the good that's been coming to me including good ideas, that I reacted in fear even masking it through comedy sometimes to my friends and family that have despite witnessing what happened to me, are in such disbelief their natural response is to tell me to stay away from what I am doing, is because of the following factors.

1. Part of me doesn't believe it's real until I see the results 100%, yet I am witnessing impossible things before my very eyes. Hell I'm taking meds that really help me with my overall problems and I'm seeing a shrink in a couple days after said eclipse. So by all intents and purposes, if I were delusional of the things I've seen, then that alone should stop me from seeing it. Yet I'm still fucking seeing it. What I am seeing and experiencing up to this point is real and I gotta stop running away from it. I have to face it head on.
2. Much of it is the fact that much like my trademark bad luck in the past everything was handed to me at the right time and the right place. Whether it's some gift that comes in handy, money I needed in a jam or just a new good idea flooding to me. Before I dropped my baggage, my plans were somewhat successful, nowadays, every plan I've made has a 100% Guarantee of Success should I pull them off. Some of which as I speak coming to fruition. As Ian Malcom once said "Boy do I hate being right all the time." As much as I'm glad it's happening, I keep thinking "Why now?" Which I should stop.
3. As much as I joke about the end of the world. One of my biggest fears was the world ending and everyone dying. And with the planets no longer in alignment and the eclipse coming. Two things that often signify the end of said world, I naturally got terrified. Hell, I was literally trying to find ways to stop it. However I realized that the term "End of the World." Doesn't necessarily meaning the Earth Exploding or the human race becoming extinct. It means the end of the Current world and the beginning of a new world. It was the change aspect that was scaring me, but once I realized what we are changing into, I welcome it. I welcome the pain and anguish that requires change to happen.

Because as it turns out, we're not dying. The moon isn't gonna crash down on our planet while we say goodbye to our loved ones:

And what's changing us is not necessarily bad:

In fact that's what it is. It's evolution.

Human Evolution. Be it in body, mind, environment or even soul, has often changed and evolved once every 100 years. And whether you realized it or not, you've all witnessed the changes happen over the past 100 years. Or to some of us whom were born from the 90s to the 2000s. At least a few decades. I myself went through many changes in my life. From the weird oddball kid, to the bully victim, to the bully, to the anti-hero I've been since I graduated High School, but now I have become something more. Something I can't describe. It's painful, it's scary, it's almost like going through a second puberty to be honest. Only it's on a species level scale. I've become smarter, wiser. Still cocky, but in a fun and positive way and hell, like some people have said, my art is improving and I've become more mellow over the years. I've lost weight and I'm well on my way to getting the body I desired, despite impossible odds, I found true love and watched her evolve too. I knew not to give a crap what people think of me as long as they're not important in my life. And to top it off, my sense of adventure has increased so much that literally money limits me from going all over the world. I used to think when the eclipse happened it'd be the end of the world as we know it. And in a way it is. The old world we are so used to despite all it's flaws is ending. A new world is emerging from the ashes, like a Phoenix. This is our new golden age.

If we screw this one up, then it is bye bye to the world, but until then. Enjoy the time you all have. Spend time with loved ones, have some fun in your favourite spots and hope to whatever's out there, that you'll make it. Because one thing I do know, a lot that come out during the eclipse will go blind and will go crazy. Me I'm just gonna ride it out until it's over and enjoy the time while I still can.

Until then, take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.