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CIEIRMusic
Amateur Filmmaker, Author, Cartoonist, Musician and defictionalizer (Finding truth in fiction), mostly here to promote my music to indie developers that need it.

S.T. Musician @CIEIRMusic

Age 33, Male

Part Time Musician,

High School Graduate/Self Taug

Parts Unknown

Joined on 12/13/20

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I Figured Out What's Wrong With Us

Posted by CIEIRMusic - 3 weeks ago


A follow up to this:

I figured out the main problem with Life


Over the years I was wondering why even after all I found out, that no one was moving forward. Then I realized with that article that this was one of the reasons why. However this lead me into an even deeper reason behind this. For context, when I was 18, I used to joke that 30 was considered the middle age for 18 year olds. In that while others took getting to at least 45 to 50 would have it worse, but it would be similar circumstances. Then I realized today, that joke became a reality.


For a glimpse of my life, part of why I have no shame in talking about even the darker aspects of my life to the generations above and below me, is because I found a balance between being childish and being grown up. It allowed me to be the medium between generations, because I knew what it was like to be a kid and it helped me learn more from the older generations because as a growing adult I start seeing things more from their perspective. The only thing I offered them in return aside from the usual help and company is to offer my POV of how I experience life no matter how messed up it got or how unbelievably good it got. A lot of people in my own circle have been deep down doing the same thing as well as those that have opposed me. We either seek solace from the older generation or we try to teach the younger generation not to make the same stupid mistakes we did. It's why it takes me a while to think before acting and judging because it reflects of aspects of either my life or those I know good and bad in said generation or a generation above and below me. Then it hit me.


A lot of us both my generation and the generations above and below me have reached a point in their lives where they don't know what to do in life. They seek out teachers or they teach others. No different than what I was doing. Then I realized whether you're a child, a teen, an adult or even a senior, we all have our own versions.....of a mid life crisis.


Now a lot of people, myself included would think, "Nah, that's for old people, we don't have that." Well congratulations you are wrong and so was I. Hell I'm just recovering from mine faster because I realized what it was. I never thought I'd live to be 30 and the next 3 years were a struggle trying to find my purpose in life. Once I realized what it was though, I was able to find ways, not just to move on, but help those left behind on the matter. The symptoms are what follows:

  1. Insomnia
  2. Difficulty Concentrating.
  3. Nostalgia
  4. Reckless Behaviour
  5. Irritability

Then of course on top of that, the classic 5 Stages of Grief.


We all went through it, in every stage of our lives. Some of us grew up too fast, even with more to learn and tried to move forward. Others either cherry-picked or romanticized parts of the stories the older generations told us, tried to do better than them but screwed up one way or another. It's why both Racism and Anti-racism is still around, because the older generations projected their struggles on each side of the board onto those in their younger generation. Either they realized what damage they did and try to reign it in before it's too late, or worse, they encourage them to succeed where they failed, re-opening old wounds and making us all start from scratch again. It was never our fight. It was never our war. We were drafted against our wills and those whom aren't sorry for it, should suffer the consequences, not us. Me, I'm sorry for everything I done that was so wrong in my generation and my part in projecting any bullshit onto the younger crowd, while taking the older crowd for granted.


It's a hard thing to say sorry about, but I am. That being said, I'm fed up with it and I choose not to fight it anymore. I don't know how I'll move on without the shackles of my past, but at the same time I hope wherever I go is much better.


Until then I suggest you all look deep within yourselves and find out if anything, there's something wrong with you. If you can find it, then you can save yourself and those around you.


Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.


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