First of all to any TLDR's even among my own fans I only have one thing to say. Read the whole thing or don't read it at all. This is an important one and I don't want anyone to miss it.
When I was first on Newgrounds, I was at an age where I wasn't allowed to go on that site. So needless to say I saw how it evolved over the years. It's one of the reasons why I had no problem swearing at other users no matter their age, because if I saw this at my age I would be acting the same way then now. I was basically acting like how I would act if I had an account on there. It was why I was shocked that kids were getting exposed to that shit, because while my kid mind would have enjoyed it, my adult mind would have been disgusted with it. I'm sure I'm not the only one that has that kind of dilemma, considering the drama that goes on in this place.
We started off acting like we were more adult around each other, but as the drama went on, we all regressed to the level of toddlers. Whether we were old men or young boys or old women or young girls or that technicolor rainbow in between, we would have acted exactly as we've acted or are acting now.
It made me realize the whole time that I did belong here at this site. I enjoyed it for the old stuff, I added it while trying my life anew and it helped when it mattered as some liked my works and some didn't. The only thing left was trying to make money off it so I could build better accommodations. It's one of my gifts, I know what I can do with money in a way that will help me profit more, but share with others. That was my main goal in life. Finding a way to succeed, but not leave anyone behind. Encourage them if I could, support them if I could, but leave the rest up to faith. However like everyone else I was vulnerable to the same bullshit everyone always argues about. Religion, Politics, Aggressive Nostalgia, Controversy. I've argued it and I've got caught up in it one way or another. And as a result I thought my life was getting worse.
But then a funny thing happened to me. First things started coming back to me, to the point where random strangers on top of the people in my circle have in small doses supported me in many ways. Be it finances, food to eat and even something as small and simple as asking for a cigarette. Then after trying to help them out in return, I gained more friends and foes. The friends I gained, I judge by character, but if they somehow have something I want, I try not to hesitate to ask for it as worst I would get is a "No." The enemies I gained saw my kindness as a weakness, pretended to be my friends and family and when I fought back, they bombard me with enough guilt trips to give multiple complexes. If I find out something to make me respect them more, I respect them more, if something disgusts me I will let them know and even fight them if I have to because it's a better alternative than risking jail time murdering people like Rapists, Pedophiles, Abusive Parents, Internet Nazis, Slacktivists, Stereotypes and above all else, just the plain old assholes that harm people for kicks. Had I not met any of those groups, I probably would have become them if the offer was tempting to get me out of my rotten life at the time. That's how bad it would have been if not for the fact that based on my morality and the morality of my friends and family, we hate these fuckers. We may carry traits that come across as red flags, but we are sure as Hell are not into that shit. So sometimes hate does come in handy. It's what you Hate that is important. And sometimes that hatred can be brought out of love for what you love.
The easiest part was pointing what I thought was this or that out, but the hardest parts were proving it without having to go through the trouble of having to investigate it and even then find ways to do something about it without getting into too much trouble. Then I found out that I was right all along in the beginning. That we ignore them. We don't ignore what they've done, we ignore them. Declare them persona non grata in our lives, don't even speak or think about them, seek therapy if the think part is hard and put them behind us. Move on with our lives, find better things to do that you love and if you want to do them alone or with people, do the things you love alone and do things with people you'll know you both love.
As a result of the flags and the past experience, I was able to point them out more often. That was my evidence, knowing that they did in fact do things, but it's not infallible. There's always room for error or the whole thing could be just one giant misunderstanding for all I know. Maybe, maybe not. But at the same time, if I find further proof I let people know right away. That's all I can do to help on that front.
All those stories I wrote about S.T. Musician were fantasies of what I wanted to do to every evil person I have come across over the year, but the thing that was holding me back was that was a story, this is the real world where real life consequences happen. It's why I made him pacifistic, because while I was changing, I thought maybe he should too.
The music I write is often based on either my mood or my love of what came before. It's why it's so repetitive, because I used the same techniques musicians used in the past, but my own spin on it.
The art I do, was based on expression and manifestation. My point of view on the world. But at the same time I try to make art people could understand and maybe agree on it.
And all it amounts to in the end, regardless if I get rich or poor is that I wanted to in my own way, show the world whom I really am. Both on sites like this and real life.
And to be honest, that's how everyone is in their own way. We just got to find a way to co-exist even if it takes an eternity. So there's one bit of advice I'll give you all.
Ignore the bullshit, have a good time and hope to god you make it to your next birthday.
Other than that, take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.