Current Events, Entertainment News, Funnies
Letter from the Editor:
Words. That is all. Just kidding. The world gets more fucked up the older I get. Every time it seems like things get good and give us hope something bad happens that makes us drop everything to react and gawk at it. Unless there is literally anything we can do, we would, but we can't despite most local news guilt tripping people and making them feel bad for not doing something they are neither capable of or in a position to do. I say fuck you. If we can't do a thing about it then let us move on and improve our own lives or maybe stop observing what is going on, get off your fat lazy selfish journalistic salary asses and do it yourself. Bad enough you rope adults in this shit, but you're doing this to kids.
Texas Elementary Massacre:
On May 24th 21 people in the Robb Elementary School were slaughtered in a mass shooting. 19 students and 2 teacher. The shooter, Salvador Ramos had announced his intention to shoot said school after he shot his grandmother. He has since been fatally shot by local authorities. Now this would normally be the part where a journalist, would come up with some bullshit interpretation to make us sympathize with the shooter. As well as blame such bullshit on media and mental disorders like autism. I am not most journalists. This man killed little kids. Killed two teachers for trying to stop him and nearly killed his grandmother. He can go to Hell. Fuck him and fuck his mother for not seeing it coming.
Russia Ukraine Conflict Gets Worse:
As the conflict gets worse, everyone is wasting time with meetings that go nowhere. Look you guys kicked Russia out of the UN human rights council it didn't work. You provided aid to Ukraine both soldier and civilian alike and it got intercepted. So needless to say it didn't work. You've literally have proof that Putin has broken world laws and should be placed under arrest for war crimes and genocide. Yet I don't see a single Peacekeeper let alone 100 of them storming the Kremlin and dragging him by his lack of balls to the nearest prison. Either go to war or hire mercs, because this shit is on the losing end and in terms of world armies we are just standing there and doing nothing. Stop making us feel guilty about this shit if you're not doing anything about it you enabling COWARDS!!
Russian Plane Grounded in Toronto:
Since February 27 a massive Russian Plane owned by Volga-Dnepr, has been grounded due to Canada's ban on Russian Airliners from Canadian Airlines. The owners currently fined $93,000 in parking fees. Since the plane can't leave the airport due to said ban let's hope this fuck up bankrupts Putin's Economy. No money, no army.
Local NewGrounds News:
It is with great regret to inform you that Ray Liotta is dead. The 67 year old actor famous for playing Henry Hill on the Scorsese classic Goodfellas died in his sleep. Hopefully wherever he is, he's being just as charismatic and entertaining as he was in life and hope to God Pesci isn't next because he stll hasn't answered his question. "Funny how?"
Power Rangers veteran Austin St. John pleads "Not guilty." After being arrested for and accused of Covid-19 related fraud. Austin, who was famous for playing Jason Lee Scott aka the first Red Ranger on Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, is currently out of custody determined to fight this case. I wish you luck Red Ranger, but if the shit turns out to be true, you have single-handidly murdered my childhood.
The Exorcist Franchise is set to be rebooted with the first film coming out on October 2023. On one hand since Blumhouse Studio hasn't steered us wrong with Halloween, I have faith this may succeed where the others failed. On the otherhand since the 2010s - 2020s is all about bashing hit movies, a catholic themed story about a faith strugglong priest trying to save the life of a posessed child may not sit well with the modern world. Still let's just hope it becomes scary enough that no one cares about anything but running out the theater to puke and wet themselves in fear. Much like the original.
-This Space For Rent-