CIEIR NEWS

Local News. World News. Entertainment News. Jokes.

Letter From The Editor

As I continue to adjust to my new place I find that while things are looking up, I still can't help but point out the downs no matter how few and between they are. My once crippling bad luck has now become the level of bittersweet. As while things are gradually getting better, I still feel hung up on certain things as well. But hey that's life. Soon I'll be able to focus more on improving my work and getting the means to do so. Not to mention more good things keep coming around the corner.

Local News

ODSP Increase Starts September

After a 4 year dry spell thanks to crackhead Ford, ODSP is finally getting it's increase back. This time it's going up 5% instead of the usual 1%. Of course, while this does give some people a much needed reprieve, others are unconvinced that this is enough for those on the program to live. The ODSP Action Coalition being one of them. I feel for you guys I really do, but take what you can get for now. Be lucky you even got an increase at all because Crackhead Ford would have sat on that until Hell Freezes Over. Fucking bastard.

World News

Crimea Explosions Strike Heavy Blow In Russian Military

For the past few days, The Russian Occupied Crimea has been hit with heavy explosions, causing massive fires and panic among the mostly Russian citizens. The Russian Government claims Sabotage, but denies heavy blows, but Ukraine's Prime minister neither confirms or denies involvment from Ukraine's military or any soldiers allying with them. Personally I think they took a page from Sergeant Hartman on this. Not directly punishing Russia, but punishing things owned by Russia in hopes they'd turn against Putin. If that's the case I have one thing to say:

Entertainement News:

Newgrounds News:

@ThatJohnnyGuy is looking for people to help him with his book. You can see the article here.

@SolidSnakeOnAPlane is offering to draw cartoon characters. See here.

Big shoutout to @V1ZION for reaching the 50 fan mark. Let's hope he gets double that soon.

Hollywood News:

The Batgirl Movie has been officially shelved due to Warner Bros. trying to cash in more on darker DC stuff as well as the Snyderverse. I myself am a fan of the Snyderverse, but even I think that's excessive. Then again I wouldn't be talking about it, if Titans and Doom Patrol weren't on the Chopping Block. I mean come on, they finally made a Titans show that was meant for the correct audience and they brought back Brendan Fraiser's Career. We owe them at least another season or two before closing it out.

I regret to inform, that Anne Heche has passed away due to injuries related to a car accident she sufffered from prior. The actress was well known for many movies good and bad from The Adventures of Huck Finn to the dreaded Gus Van Sant remake of Psycho. The actress was also known for her activism for same sex marriage, being the former lover of Ellen DeGeneres as well as one of many people that spoke out against Harvey Weinstein. Even the event of her death didn't stop her activism as she was signed up for organ donation. The Grossman Burn Center, which she was admitted to, has announced to do an walk in her honour.

Kelly Osbourne is pregnant with her first child. The famed daughter of Rock Legend Ozzy Osbourne has shown her fans on instagram the progress of her first journey towards motherhood. I don't know if I should be proud or terrified. Proud that Ozzy lived long enough to be a grandfather to his daugther's kid or terrified when he eventually tries to kill the man that knocked her up. Lol. In all seriousness, Kelly has my sincere congrats and I hope the kid is just as funny and witty as her mom and her parents before her.

Jokes

1. Probably the most fucked up one I ever thought of: A serial rapist has been spotted of the coast of a nudist beach. Confused by all the naked people around him, he resorted to forcing clothes on them rather than try to take any off. The nudists traumatized by the sudden lack of breeze they felt.
2. A boy sees a guy crossing the street, the man is about to get hit by a car. The boy pushes him out of the way. The man then said "Thanks kid. I'm the president of the United States.. For saving my life I will give you anything you want." The boy replies "Right now, what I want is a fancy funeral." The president, confused asks. "Why would you want that?" To which the boy replies "Because my dad will kill me if he found out who I just saved."
3. A Priest, A Rabbi and an Imam walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What is this, a joke?"

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