CIEIRNEWS:

Local News. World News. Entertainment News. Jokes.

Letter from the Editor:

Sometimes, it's easy to see things coming a mile away. Other times things just come right the fuck out of nowhere surprising us in various ways good or bad. Let's just say something happened that while bad, was something I don't think anyone saw coming.

Local News:

Rogers Hires Bouncers At Their Toronto Store:

Just when you though the Outage was bad, Rogers trumped again. Now they're hiring security that demands photo I.D. for even the most quick and simple things like getting a new phone and charger. Rogers? Are you trying to kill your customers? Be honest. It's bad enough you deliberately shut down your internet and yes I don't think that was a mistake, but you're basically trying to herd your customers like cattle. Fuck you.

World News:

Queen Elizabeth Dead at 96:

To the shock of some countries and the praise of others, the longest reigning Queen, Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor aka Queen Elizabeth II has passed away. Her reign has lasted 70 years and 7 Months. While a lot of countries have many things to say about the United Kingdom, whether founded or unfounded, I personally express my deepest condolences to the family, the country and anyone else devastated by her demise. This was the one death I didn't see coming, because she was about 4 years shy of being 100. I was really hoping she made it that far at least, but hopefully she rests in peace. And hope to god whoever succeeds her isn't a total douchebag.

Entertainment News:

Newgrounds News:

Big shoutout to @RetroMonsterMovies. A channel that is dedicated to making their own B-Movie Monster movies in the vein of Full Moon Productions and other studios. I reccomend Feast of The Immortal Werewolf.

Congratulations to @rherdalaezian for yet another front page at this point they're begging the site to stop. The recent one is from a song called:

Also a big congratulations to @VariableGROfficial for gaining more than 500 fans. Let's hope they get more.

Jokes:

For this one I'm gonna do one big one.

There once was a man who just played with his sticks. His brother just broke them because he's a dictating moron who all off the walls. All because he has such real tiny balloons and odd toys that aren't doing well. His sister keeps telling him to go to hello operator please get him more. And by the way he thinks his sisters a horrible role model smokey and drinky. Sometimes he thinks she's just after his winking best friend who had run out of luck and if you think this is dirty I don't give a fuck.

Thanks for reading, if you're feeling generous check out my bandcamp and tip me on Ko-Fi.