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CIEIRMusic
Amateur Filmmaker, Author, Cartoonist, Musician and defictionalizer (Finding truth in fiction), mostly here to promote my music to indie developers that need it.

S.T. Musician @CIEIRMusic

Age 33, Male

Part Time Musician,

High School Graduate/Self Taug

Parts Unknown

Joined on 12/13/20

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My Views: Family

Posted by CIEIRMusic - May 1st, 2023


This one it one I've been meaning to do for some time.


When people usually think of families, it's often the classic Nuclear Family. Wife, Husband, son, daughter. Mainly blood relatives that stick together and try to get through life. However over the years I've found that family isn't that simple as one would think.


Some people grow up with only one parent, whether the other is dead or divorced.

Some people grow up in families that society used to deem as abnormal, but is now wildly accepted, such as same sex marriages and the adoptions that follow.

In my case, I was raised not just by blood relatives of mine, but people whom under normal circumstances would be complete strangers to others, but I've known them long enough to be family.


Now as a kid I thought that family was strictly blood. I was taught by idiots that happen to be my own flesh and blood, that that was the lesson and that everyone else no matter how genuinely kind they were to me, could fuck off. Over the years I realized what bullshit that was, because there have been many people in my family life, non-blood related whom have done things for me, that my own family would never do. Just last year the coming August, I lost one of those people. This person, was one of the first faces I've ever seen when I first arrived in my town when I was 6 years old. But the man's kindness and cool headedness and his extensive family have watched my back ever since. He was the first person to teach me, that family isn't about blood. It's the heart that pumps it.


For those who say "You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family." I call bullshit. I can choose my family, I can choose who goes and who stays in my life.


Point being is my views on family even back then were way ahead of their time and those who try to claim that what I had was anything but family. Downplaying it claiming they're glorified friends or some bullshit, then you better unfollow me now.


For those who think being abused is a normal part of it, seek help!!

For those who think family should strictly be blood or hetero, turn off your FOX News app and go outside.


For those who agree, you're a lot more evolved than people give credit for.


Let me know if you know someone you view as family regardless if you're blood relatives or not.


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Comments

I'm estranged from my biological family, my real family is a chosen one. I share your thinking on all of the above.

With me it was a mixed bag. Some blood relatives of mine such as my mother and father and some siblings, quirks aside were kind to me. Other blood relatives, used the "Family" card to take advantage of me as well as take advantage of fellow family members blood or no. Yet a lot of those non-blood related members, have done things in my life to keep me alive, keep me afloat and but most importantly kept in touch regardless of what they were doing. There have been some exceptions, but like my blood relatives, they were few and between. Part of the reason why I want to achieve financial success in my music, is so that I may one day pay them back for all the kindness they given me. Not just because I have to, but because I want to.

I understand what you’re saying. It’s a really refreshing opinion, and I’ve never really thought of it that way before. I have friends that are like a brother to me, and a few parent-like mentors in my life as well.
But I don’t think that gives one the right blow off your biological family. I love my bio parents, and my sisters, even when they do get in my nerves sometimes. Biological family is still your family…

The way I see it, if said biological family did something so severe and unforgivable, they cease being family. I never said to outright reject biological family, just the ones that deserve to be rejected. Abusive parents, pedo aunts and uncles, but most importantly, those whose only purpose is to drag you down, when they should be building you up. There have been millions of people out there, who's lives would have been a lot better if they weren't brainwashed into what they believe means family. There are literally people out there that actually think physical, emotional and even sexual abuse is ok, simply because a family member is doing it.

If you don't have any of that in your family, then more power to you, but in all my years I have watched people use that to cloud their judgement.