Over the years, despite my good and bad days, my main priority was to do everything I could, not to get arrested or killed. I have a violent temper and a bad attitude, so it's easier said than done. But sometimes people push me to the point where I'd risk both to do the right thing or at the very least take justice into it myself. One of the downfalls of true heroism is the consequences of one's actions, right or wrong. For example, is someone worth hurting if they committed a serious crime, no matter how bad or severe it is.

I've tried to find the line between Right and Wrong, my whole life and it's a lesson I will try to keep learning, because it is neverending no matter what I do and how good of a life I live. However the one thing that always boggles me, is that when it comes to certain serious crimes, such as assault, rape, sexual harassment, pedophilia, people have sympathy for the victims, which is fair. Yet there is often less to no sympathies to those that dodge the bullet, those whom got out of a bad situation in time, those whom almost got hit and those whom almost got raped. Which leads me to what I'm typing here.

Now make no mistake, I assure you people that aside from some anger and fear, I am ok. I have not been hurt, nor am I in any sort of trouble or danger. But today almost ruined my good day month streak this year because I dodged said bullet.

Now for context, my views on sex crimes differ from some people. In this case, I do believe that females are just as capable of harassing and raping males as males are capable of raping women. We may be in the minority for that, but it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Unlike women, where some fear going to authority figures and some don't, it's harder for men when it happens. Mainly because there have been moments, depicted in various mediums, where females practically attack males, sexually, but it's often all in good fun or comedy. Treated as a joke. Make no mistake, there is some truth to that, as some men prefer to be chased rather than chase. However, if a man is clearly uncomfortable with the woman chasing them, then it's obvious they aren't interested and not playing hard to get. In my case, I was heading home and some creepy drug addled woman whom doesn't even live in my building, sexually harassed me. She was a known fentanyl user and crackhead as well as a thief and she was scoping out apartments to try to get in and steal shit. Trojan horse style. Needless to say, I wasn't going in my apartment, because I was so creeped out I didn't want her to know where I lived let alone force her way into my apartment. She grabbed my arm in an attempt to court me and follow me, I threatened her to scare her off. Make no mistake, I would never in my life hit or condone hitting women, call me old fashioned. Call me sexist for you modern freaks out there, but that is something I don't like to do and I sure as hell don't like seeing others do it. Yet, the thing about intimidation and it's effectiveness, is that while you know yourself, they don't know you. So if you say an empty threat it would either scare them thinking you'll do it or attack you thinking they're defending themselves. I did it and it made her let go of my arm. Needless to say I wanted to get as far away from this bitch as I could. I was already in a relationship and I was not gonna fucking jeopardize that just because some fugly bitch wants to trap me. And if my partner walked in and saw that she would:

1. Like most women in that situation, assume I was cheating on her and break things off. Even if it wasn't like that. Which in this case it wasn't.
2. Because I know my partner very well and know how batshit insane she could get when she's angry alone, let alone seeing another woman try to steal me from her....let's just say, she'd be doing life in prison.

And while I do not wish either option, I do have faith that 2 is the most likely, because we went through great lengths to protect each other the past 19 days including today, it was like we were Nightwing and Raven.

I walked away as soon as this skank let go of my arm, she followed me, started fake crying for sympathy and started slinging insults at me. I went to my building's security station, luckily the Security Guard was not only a friend, but another woman. Whom was new to the building, but scared of the bad elements. I try to give her pep talks to get through it. So needless to say thank fucking god she was in that office. If it was a guy, they would out of obligation investigate and report, but would not take it seriously due to the double standards, unless of course he was a victim himself. Whereas while some females don't take it seriously, others would and would even go through great lengths to make sure it doesn't happen again. I informed her of the situation, told her to call for back up and reported the incident to the housing company. She left the building before anything could be dealt with, so it was easy for me to do that. However I been hearing around that she was still roaming around the area, so I figured that sooner or later I had to get out of there. So to cool off, I left and did some errands for the rest of the night. So needless to say, it didn't quite ruin my day. However for the first time in a long time, I felt scared. People on this site alone, could attest, that when angry, I never back down, say as much nasty things as I can to the person that wronged me and those that know me in my personal life, know how much of a violent kid I used to be with said temper. So needless to say, even with my moral code at play, I can safely say this. Most men, even if they never once hit a woman, often have what's known as an "exception list." a form of catharsis were merely the thought of hurting them comes to mind, but no follow through. Basically those that have harmed them without provocation, spread rumours about them, raped them, robbed them, etc. So needless to say I have one of those lists and it's a miracle I didn't follow through, because if I did, even if I spent the rest of my life in prison, there'd be a lot. Including but not limited to Karla Homolka. The notorious serial killer and rapist in my country and wife of other notorious rapist and killer Paul Bernardo. Yet while I have that specific list, this was the first and only time I ever wanted to kill a woman. Because she was that evil to me. And I literally had to get as far away from my building as possible so I wouldn't bet so mad I'd be driven to do it. Which leads me to the topic.

I was almost a victim of sexual harassment, rape and possibly robbery if I was ever that stupid to go to my apartment in front of her. So needless to say, even if I did go through with killing this person, charged as I may be, they won't blame me. Instead I settled it the legal way. Alerted my buildings authorities and left to calm down. Hence what I mean by being ok, as I am calm enough to talk about this.

Having said, that it was not the first time this shit has happened to me. It's been happening to me since I was a kid.

As a kid, me and my family almost got date raped by a friend of our family.

As a teen, I had to watch helplessly while a relative of mine as well as many other teenagers, was being groomed and harassed by her pedophile father. Had he been interested in boys as he was in girls, I would have been next. Not only that his own father was defending him.

As a high school student, a fellow student was prostituting herself, preying on other high school students. Luring unsuspecting hormone addled teenage boys into possible rape scandals. At the behest of her pimp/fuckbuddy, whom was 20 when he was putting her out. I was almost a victim of that shit, only I was too stupid to understand what she was doing, but smart enough to GTFO, before it got worse. Not to mention even if I was interested, I was too focused on graduating to think about that shit.

As an adult, I was caught in a badger game, with two scamming women. They even went so far as hitting me and chucking a lit cigarette to try to get a reaction out of me and the only thing I had to ask was "WHO ARE YOU!?"

When I first moved to the building I run into that same high school rapist and pedo duo again.

During a summer, I was harassed by someone else's girl, whom was trying to get him jealous.

And now this fucking shit.

And people on this site why I'm so defensive and act like a know it all when it comes to sex crimes:

I WAS ALMOST A VICTIM OF THAT SHIT!!! I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!

I study the signs, the M.O.s of the most notorious criminals, so I could find these people myself and put an end to it if I could. And that it doesn't happen to me or anyone ever again. In the name of every child and adult I failed to save in the past, because certain stigmas and laws don't offer sympathy. Which leads me to the topic. Almost victims.

Almost victims are men, women and children, whom by intervention of other individuals, luck, intuition or even to some the hand of whatever God/Goddess is up there, dodge serious situations that could have gotten worse had they ended up like anyone else dumb or ignorant enough to fall for it. These people are the unsung heroes, because even if they don't talk about their experience, they use what they learned to help others out. But that said, just because they are more savvy, doesn't make the experience less painful or scary.

In the defense of those that offer little to no sympathy, it's mostly some apathy about it. They don't think it's a big deal when someone almost gets killed or almost gets raped or almost gets framed for said crimes or any almost for that matter. They think "It didn't happen to you, so why should we give a shit?" And because people don't like to talk about it, but show clear signs of trauma, it makes others suspicious, thinking you're one of them just by looks alone.

Let me tell you something about almost victims. Even if they are relieved that it didn't happen to them, which in my experience is a fucking relief. They think about the "What ifs?" Like what if it did happen to us and how would it affect us. Would it throw us in jail? Would it get us killed before people realized the truth? Do some still disbelieve us? Things that would haunt them for the rest of their lives.

Some get over it, others would rather go so far as kill themselves when the fear doesn't go away just to escape from it. Me, I try to cope as much as I could, but with my disorder and the other baggage in my life, it's not easy especially when it keeps happening. But my main worry was that I would end up breaking the heart of someone I love even if it was by accident. And if that did happen, not only would it break my heart, it would fucking destroy me. I would go back to the way I was before, because I'd have nothing left. I'd rather have my own heart broken than breaking hers, because I can take it. And it's why it wound me up to this point. Other times I've been harassed or caught up in something like this, I play it off, thinking it won't happen again and just move on with my life. Yet, this was the last straw for me.

Now I'm not the only Almost Victim. I'm sure others are out there all over the world, that dodged their fair share of bullets. However, part of why justice is never done, no matter how painful and humiliating it could be, is that we don't talk about it. So I encourage you to talk about it. It doesn't have to be authority figures. As I know most people be it through fear or through personal reasons would rather not go to the police even if it's the right thing to do for something like this. It could be friends, family or even others you feel you can trust to help you through the situation. Someone you know would help you through this, through moral support and love.

So needless to say, start talking. Because it took a lot of bravery and courage just to even speak about this. It's stuff I usually don't like to talk about, don't want to talk about, but if it at least warns the next generation, it should be talked about. It is also why I was overtly defensive when people were hassling me over the Jes and Joe thing. Because I seen that shit myself and I was too angry to even talk about it, because I didn't think a single person would even believe me. And while it didn't ruin the rest of my day, it is a serious situation and people should be aware that this shit does in fact happen. You'll get no snickers, humiliation or any ridicule from me, so don't be afraid to speak.

Right now I'm just gonna stay positive and get through this day so I can make it to tomorrow.

Until then, stay safe and stay tuned for more.