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CIEIRMusic
Amateur Filmmaker, Author, Cartoonist, Musician and defictionalizer (Finding truth in fiction), mostly here to promote my music to indie developers that need it.

S.T. Musician @CIEIRMusic

Age 33, Male

Part Time Musician,

High School Graduate/Self Taug

Parts Unknown

Joined on 12/13/20

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Fight With Your Heart, Not Your Fists

Posted by CIEIRMusic - January 26th, 2024


First of all, I want to apologize not just for being late in typing, but I want to apologize to everyone on this site as well as all over the net, that I have ever hurt even unintentionally during every drama fest I have ever fought through in this site alone and the entirety of the internet. Regardless if I was justified or not, the way I went about it was wrong, violent and full of hate and even if they act tough back, I can tell that what I said really hurt them. The reason I apologize is that whether they are my friends or my enemies or the neutrals that just want to do their thing and not be a pain to anyone, we're all people. We all have families we turn to when we're not doing this. We all have obligations we have to face every day, such as school and work for most people. We use this site and others like it to escape the shitty hand life dealt us over the years and much of why we don't get along, is because while we all suffer the same pains, the circumstances of our individual lives differ so greatly, that we often get the impression that the other side doesn't understand what we are going through.


Which is 100% bullshit. Pain is pain. Regardless of where it comes from, what does it or who does it, pain is universal. It doesn't matter how we get it, because we still hurt. It doesn't matter who hurts us, because in a way even if we don't know it, we hurt them. But while many of us have suffered this pain mostly physically, through fights and other things, the true pain we all have in common, is the pain in our minds, hearts and souls (if you believe in that sort of thing.).


As a kid, even verbally, I thought the best way to solve my problems was to be so violent and scary, it would scare those that I argue with, into submission and make them leave me alone if I don't walk away myself. It took me a long time to realize that wasn't strength.


While strength by many fighters can tell you, comes from muscle, they often neglect the one muscle that keeps us going above all else:

The Heart


The heart is considered the strongest muscle in our body, but what it represents is more than that. A heartbeat is considered one of the most soothing sounds in the world, hence why parent and child, as well as lovers among most walks of life, often have their head against the chest of another. It's the thing that keeps the rest of the body functioning. Hence why Cardio is often stressed as an important exercise among most. Without a strong heart, it's pointless to even think about exercising the rest of you. Many people think that a headshot is the way to kills someone, be it IRL or in games. When in actuality, some people can function with brain damage, yet if you get shot in the heart, unless you have a new heart on stand by you're dead.


But that's just the physical aspects of the heart. The heart represents a lot of things. It represents the love one has for each other, the passion one has for their work, not to mention the determination and will one gets when they have a clear goal in mind and will stop at nothing to get it.


However, while there is some good sides to the heart, it's not without it's drawbacks.


Every time we neglect our heart, we kill ourselves. Every time our hearts get broken, we go crazy. And every time we try to bury our hearts even for the soul purpose of survival, it tries to break free in many different ways.


And while I do regret some of the things I've said, I've always tried to put my heart and soul in everything I do, including the fights. I have had my heart broken, I was determined to fix it. Every time I had it stepped on, I was determined to step on the person that did it, so they wouldn't step on anyone else's. Every time someone tried to rip my heart out, I would fight tooth and nail to put it back in. And despite all the stress, pain and agony I went through to do so, it proves I still have a heart and it was my strongest weapon the whole time.


So this is my advice to you all, friend, foe and neutral alike. Rather than fight with our fists or even with our words, we fight with our hearts instead. We listen to our hearts and react accordingly. Think less and feel more.


Just recently, I have gotten into the mother of all confrontations, I was almost molested, I had my face beat in, but despite all that, I didn't fight with my fists, I used my heart throughout the whole thing and just when things seemed to be getting worse, I ended up finding the light at the end of the tunnel I was searching for. I was able to find ways of solving my problems without resorting to violence, I used strategies I never thought to use before, but most importantly I fought with all my heart to make sure things were right in my small part in the world. And while it will be a while before the smoke clears and things get better, I have managed to do more damage to the side of evil, than most people ever thought to do. A few days ago, someone very special to me, whom is currently in recovery from their own misfortunes, gave me the best advice anyone could give me. "Be you." Me, regardless of how cool I seem to some and hated to others, deep inside I was nothing more than a sad lonely little boy, trapped in the body of an adult man. Yet said little boy, was what kept me going, I never lost that inner child even when it got tainted by the darker aspects of reality. And as a result, the little boy that I was, was slowly but surely becoming the man I was destined to be. I was able to solve a lot of mysteries of my own life one way or another. So I'm practically a detective. I was able to take control of some situations when no one else would. So I'm practically a leader, but one that will follow other leaders if I think their leadership is worth following. I have a vast knowledge of movies, music and other forms of art. Making me an Artist. Just to name a few qualities, but most importantly I'm Me.


A 32 soon to be 33 year old, Canadian, Autistic Boy, with a lot of potential to the world that I have barely scratched the surface, with a bad attitude and a heart of solid gold reinforced with titanium. This heart may get broken occasionally, but I always managed to put it back together, be it through friends, family or even true love.


So the advice I say unto you is this. No matter where you go, no matter what you do, you're still you. Be you. Fight with your heart, not your fists.


Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.


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Comments

:DDD WOOOAH Awesome!!!!!!!! I love the bit about the heart being the strongest muscle :D And the part of neglecting your heart, having it broken, and what happens when you try to bury it. True stuff about life right there

Sounds like you stepped onto a major crossroads here and decided to take a new direction. Good on you, I hope it serves you well, and that you manage to stick to your own advice (which, speaking from experience, is one of the hardest things to do). Take care.

It's not easy. Some people still hate me for not giving in to their bullshit, but no matter how mad I get I say my piece and move on to a better day. They can label me all they want and maybe I'll explain why they're wrong, but other than that I don't give a damn anymore. The people I confront in my personal life are over 40, pedophilic, racist, narcissistic, gangster wannabe, high school drop outs, whom I just recently found out, beat and raped a trafficked sex worker. Back when she was 15 years old. When I exposed them, much like my enemies in Newgrounds, they gave me false labels, calling me the very things they were. This is the kind of crap I've dealt with every day of my life and as a result of what I seen in public, it was able to let me reflect on who I'm really facing. Not kids. Adults that think they are still kids, that think the High School life still applies to real life and I'm not talking books. I'm talking booze, drugs, destructive house parties. Things that as a kid would be awesome to get away with, but as an adult would cause so much damage, it would make the damages done in the movie Project X, seem like a paper cut in comparison. As well as harsh consequences. They're energy vampires that do anything to get attention and they're just as hard to ignore in real life as they are should they be on the net. One guy used footage of last year's fire to accuse an old man of having a man climb his balcony to steal something. I seen that balcony, that's a 40 foot drop, you'd have to be stupid enough to do that and that's not even once mentioning the fact that said footage was of a guy jumping from a fucking fire. Used it as an excuse to label the man and attack his wife. And that's just one member of that group. Others were those I known in my own schools, they were losers whom tried to start fights with people and they're losers now. All talk and no action. I've taken a beating from worse people than that.

But that being said no matter how bad things get, they are eventually done. They harmed someone's daughter, so needless to say, that daughter's parents would like a few words with them. I personally reported them to the cops for their other crimes. It's one of the reasons they're going at me Net style, because they want to get as much people pissed off at me as possible because I outed them as Pedophiles and Statutory Rapists. So the law is also coming for them. However there was one thing, one thing I overlooked. These people are power drinkers, whether they know it or not, they're slowly poisoning themselves with excessive drinking and exerting themselves with excessive drugs and partying. They're killing themselves, slowly and painfully. It's one of those "If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me moments." But unless they stop then and there, they'll die as they lived. Losers that hate people for no reason, yet will get outlived by them.

amazing. ^_^

honestly this post has really good advice.

Thank you. Not an easy thing to do, but at the same time, once you master it you're golden. Regarding the bullies in school. Take it from a guy whom watched similar bullies grow up to be loser adults. They may say stuff that trigger, they may do stuff that piss people off, they may even go so far as trying to hit you to intimidate you. But as long as you stay in your lane and focus on what you wanna do, ignore them as much as possible and hang out with those that could care less what anyone thinks of you badly, then you're golden. They on the otherhand will spend the rest of their lives, drinking and drugging themselves to death, rotting away at their own hand because deep down, misery loves company. Deprive them of said company and you basically take their lives. Killing them without even having to touch them. Right now as I type this, the people that hassled me are getting sick. In fact they're dying, they're well past the age where their body is shutting down anyway, but the stuff they did to themselves made it go faster. They go after others, because they're afraid they will die alone and want at least someone to hurt permanently before they go out. Their last laugh. But as long as you keep living, long after they leave you to find some other punching bag if any, then you win. It was hard for me, because they wouldn't stop hurting people, but I caused enough of an impact good and bad that others can take care of themselves without me.

@CIEIRMusic for me, im scared of being beaten by bullies myself, but i dont try to keep company with those who hurt me. also, im a believer in the opinion that "once an abuser, always an abuser", although i still have some hope that a few can change. but i still believe evil people remain evil because of their indulgent choices.

People can change if they want to change. If they don't want to change and they prefer keeping a stupid life, they're not worth helping. Simply leave them be. If it's a group, all the more better, because if they don't have anyone to hurt, they'll spend time infighting, turning against each other. Especially since unlike groups, clicks and actual street gangs, there is no leadership in bullies and it's all a fight on who's the boss. In fact if they do ask you or talk to you. Just say one simple question "If you're all so great, who's the leader?" Then just walk off. Trust me. If they're as disorganized with themselves as they are with going after others, then they'll be fighting each other for a long time.

@CIEIRMusic true. although i havent really known or heard of people who wanted to leave their abusive ways genuinelly many times.

There are people I know, myself included whom thought solving problems with violence was the way to go, but instead, much like drugs and alcohol, it became an addiction, a disease. Even those that don't like to fight, revel when they hurt someone, whether they deserved it or not. As kids, it was easy for us, because aside from time in Juvie, we would get away with a lot. With adults, it's not that simple. They hurt someone, they either get arrested or hurt themselves. Some kids often bite the bullet anyway and try to grow up fast, to make up for their past mistakes. Others, are so full of themselves that no matter how many times they keep hurting people, they don't see themselves at fault for it. They're basically living the definition of insanity, repeating the same pattern expecting different results. So just let them repeat themselves, let them keep spinning until the record breaks.