Managed to make it where I needed to go, to seek therapy. I'm just waiting for when the actual therapist has me on the list. It's a long wait list, but so far so good.

Until then, the Walk-In Center that referred me, prescribed me medication to deal with a huge chunk of my problems. Specifically, Anxiety and Depression. I'm trying it out tonight, but they said I won't see results for 2 weeks. That said, the fact that they gave me something to help, right off the bat, shows I'm going the right direction. If it works, then a lot of my problems personal, professional, mental and even spiritual would be solved.

Part of why it took me so long to seek help, was because while I can safely admit that I do have problems with or without this stuff. I just didn't think I needed it. Even with shit going down for me, I was able to handle things on my own for a long time. 26 years. But in the 27th year of my 32, soon to be 33 year old life, I realized there are certain problems I cannot solve through sheer will alone. It also took me a long time to figure out which problems needed solving, hence why I was able to freely express them including but not limited to suicidal thoughts. Just to see if anyone else whom is getting treated has either improved or made life worse. Just to see if maybe it's a direction I can take.

Now I know I'm going the right direction, because a lot of people I know, save for a select few exceptions, have never treated themselves for it or sought treatment for it. Much like my stance on Vaccines, I respect the religious and even fear of side effects for whatever medicine would get prescribed. Hell the one I'm about to take has side effect warnings. However the one's that often pissed me off are the people whom are so full of themselves that even taking simple treatments, would be to them admitting there was something wrong with them. Even the people I deal with in my neck of the woods would rather take narcotics and kill themselves with booze than seek even the simplest of meds let alone hours, months and even years of therapy that would of taken to get to the root of their problems. They honestly don't believe that that lifestyle is killing them because they think it's good. Me I believe certain Narcotics should be legal, due to both the medicinal and overall life qualities. Up until it became that, I was a firm believer in legalizing Weed, simply because people had so much to deal with that they couldn't afford Prescription Meds, let alone go through the legal bullshit that doesn't qualify them for simply medicinal weed. When it became medicinal in my country before it was legal, Autism wasn't even considered a severity long enough to get prescription and their idea of PTSD meant soldiers only. So needless to say I was fucked.

That being said, problems can't be solved by letting people be more free to use narcotics. They need proper treatment or at the very least proper treatment that caters to one's personality, disorder/s and over all belief system or lack thereof. Christianity, Islam and Judaism alone would have had a lot of problems solved, had they at least had a Psychiatrist, that specializes in their beliefs. Hell, many Doctors have their own beliefs even when their field is mostly science. So why not go that way. It's one of the reasons why I feared going to a shrink myself, because I was worried, my own beliefs would be written off as delusions and I'd receive a worse fate than the prescription meds that would help me. I could care less if they thought I was crazy in what I believe, but at the same time they shouldn't use that as an excuse to forcibly drug or lock up people, whom beliefs aside, went through similar bullshit, based on disorders alone.

That said, I'm no longer afraid of that. I am seeking help when it's available and I got a multitude of things to do while I am going through it. I suggest that anyone whom has not sought treatment over the years of bullshit drama they endured on this site alone to do the same, let alone what they do in their personal lives. If I can do it even after decades of procrastinating, so can you. Admit your problems, seek help and go from there.

Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.