Ok first of all, I had to confess, I had a weekly dry spell regarding my meds. I ran out last week and I just got back on them three days ago. However because of that dry spell I was able to learn a lot more about myself. I was able to last a week without even remotely getting into drama online or offline. Others shouted at me, but I was able to ignore them easily as long as I was among trusted friends, family and loved ones in general. So it made life much easier for me on and off, but that said, now that I'm back on them, I'm able to enjoy the finer things in life, be more honest about my wants and needs and as a result I was able to find the secret to eternal life and death.

To sum it up, it's based on the following principle. Life depends on how much you care to keep it living one way or another. Those who care less, kill more.

For example. Say you met someone, whom for all intents and purposes should not click with you, based on your own POV on how people act. But then you find out, that this person has a similar mutual love of the things you have. Depending on your level of care you'd do the following things:

1. If you trust the person well enough to take care of themselves, then you don't have to interfere with their life. Simply be there for them when they need it.
2. If you feel they need help that only you know how to provide, at best give advice based on your perspective and at worst, if they're a lost cause, ignore them and help someone else out.
3. Above all else, base them on how you view they need your help. Most of the times what you offer won't click with them or worse, what you have in common with them, could never be understood enough by your circle or theirs that they'd mistake a simple act of help as an attack. So helping them must be taken in baby steps.

Point being that if you care enough about someone to do that for them, then they are worth helping every step of the way. I'm sure you all have skills you didn't think were useful to you, but may be useful to them. Or even something simple as giving someone a recipe that could appeal to their survival, frugal or overall taste, could keep someone alive for eternity if need be.

That's a lesson I should have learned a very long time ago. I would not only be better off, but I'd also be in a position much faster to help out those whom helped me in return. And that includes you guys, much of why I didn't give anything back yet in a way that it was meaningful, was because at this point, you've helped me out in so many ways I don't know how to repay you. That and after doing a thorough study of my budget, I found that if I ever wanted to live more comfortably while still being in a position to give back, on top of my usual income, I would have to make at the very minimum $2000 a year. It's one of the reasons why I sell my music so cheap. Not to make a shit load off of one or two fans, but so, thousands of them at least would get me to that a little faster. My priorities are divided between this life and my home life and while life-wise I am able to figure out more to improve it, I know I can't do this alone. It's why artists do what they do for cash, to expand on what they can do. All I wanted was the same chance and it wouldn't have cost you much to do it.

That aside, I know I can survive off what I got, but there comes a time when a person wants more and this truly isn't the avenue, then I can always find other ways at this point, but I love to entertain people. Which makes it hard t quit. But at the same time, it's not easy to stay even in short times.

However, that doesn't mean I took you fans for granted, you were the heart and soul of this account. Your input helped me improve, your love of my music made me want to produce more and to top it off, I appreciated at least some people liked my ideas and listened to my viewpoint no matter how crazy I may have sounded to all of them. The only thing I asked was just more than critical success. A chance to show the world I can improve based on what it likes about me.

Until then, take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.