Amateur Filmmaker, Author, Cartoonist, Musician and defictionalizer (Finding truth in fiction), mostly here to promote my music to indie developers that need it.
Ok no word of a lie. I'm only doing this because I love to play with the microphone when I first get it. That said, let's hope my voice is better than my writing. Well. I survived Christmas, managed to accomplish some personal goals and now I'm back better than ever. So sit back relax and enjoy some news.
Local News:
In local news today, two transit workers from the TTC were assaulted by what can only be described as 10 - 15 Youths. They attacked three people and fled the area. Now look, as someone who's lived in this city for 25 years, I get it. Some bus drivers can be a pain in the ass and some passengers can make Karens look like saints. However they got a job to do like everyone else and attacking them is no way to solve things. To those punk kids that did this, go to the corner and think about what you did. Then turn yourselves in.
World News:
In world news today. As we come close to the first anniversary of the Russian Ukraine conflict, we see that neither side is giving up, Putin may still resign and things seem to loosen up. But the war may not seem to end any time soon. My heart goes out to those in Ukraine that are on Newgrounds. Stay safe and keep doing what you're doing. As for you Vlady, I hope someone runs you over with a steam roller while Ra Ra Rasputin plays in the background.
In other entertainment news, Avatar: Way Of The Water, made over the promised 2 Billion dollars. Director James Cameron set out to make the movie in 2017 and released it in December of 2022. I guess you can say he terminated the Box Office.
Funnies:
Funnies are at the end of the audio.
Thanks for listening be sure to check out my bandcamp and tip me on Ko-Fi.
I thought I'd give an official name and instructions on how to make my small crazy idea. Which I now officially dub:
CIEIRMusic's Health Potion #1 and #2:
Now I know what you're thinking. "Isn't it one potion that you cobbled together?" Yes it is, but as my journey to improve it went I realized I made 2 while making one. Ironically in colours similar to the Health and Magic Meter potions from the Legend of Zelda Series. Well because I didn't anticipate the smoke quitting properties of my initial white tea and chlorophyll mix I consider it a separate potion all together. #1 is on the left and #2 is on the right.
Now on with how to make them:
Ingredients:
Now these are ingredients for my usual 2L recipie, if you want for a more bigger container, simply just do the math from here.
8 Bags of White Tea: The Brand itself doesn't matter, but I recommend the more Chinese themed brands as opposed to the American brands.
40 Drops of Chlorophyll: Now for this I reccomend a guranteed strong source of Chlorophyll. I learned the hard way that no two bottles are the same.
1 Cup of Berry Juice: It's best to use the %100 no sugar added for this. That said, preferably one rich in blueberry and pomegranate for the effect you're looking for.
Tools:
1 2L cooking pot or tea kettle you have at home: This will be your cauldron of sorts. If you have an electric kettle ignore the tool below.
1 Conventional Oven Stovetop: For those who don't have an electric kettle this is something you need to get cooking.
1 Stirring Spoon or Stick: Stirring is an essential part of all of it.
1 2L Container: While I showed a plastic one, I prefer glass ones as they're easier to clean.
1 Kitchen Timer: This is the handiest tool of them all. If you have one that can go for over an hour. Even better.
Instructions.
Pour water into pot or kettle until full.
Let it heat to the boiling point.
Shut it off and remove from heat source.
Wait until your water has reached room temperature. Which depending on container ranges from 45 minutes to 90 minutes.
Put your tea in the water and let it steep for an hour.
Stir and pour mixture into container.
Put drops of chlorophyll into the mix.
Stir the mix until you see a bright green. For #1 you can just put it in the refrigerator after.
For #2 add one cup or two of berry juice then refrigerate after.
Once cool to your liking, drink and enjoy.
And that's how it's done. My small crazy idea turning into an enjoyable health potion for everyone to love. Let me know how yours turns out.
So I thought I'd dedicate the next phase into having it capable of eliminating physical stress. So I searched far and wide for any juice, supplement or powder that could help relieve physical stress. It wasn't until a couple of days ago I found it. Blueberries. Blueberries among most things can not only reduce stress, but reduce the chemical aftermath of stress known as Cortisol.
So the simple solution would be to buy 100% Blueberry Juice as well as 100% Pomegranate Juice. However when I was going to a grocery store I ended up hopefully killing 2 birds with one stone. How? By finding this:
Which not only is Blueberry and Pomegranate it's got blackberry, cranberry, grape, lemon and apple. All of which have additional health benefits that even I don't know about yet.
I won't go off like a broken record on how to make the tea and chlorophyll so if you want to see how it's made click on the first link. I've made it so it can rabbit hole it's way back to the first article on this.
Anywho. After pouring one exact cup into this it looked like this:
Now it's hard to see, but due to the colour of the juice contrasting with the green of the Chlorophyll and the golden brown of the white tea, there's a more purple hue to this. Almost indigo. A sign maybe that this is the essence of CIEIRMusic's S.T. Musician? Who knows.
Right now as I write this article the drink is currently in the fridge. I will update on this like usual. And fuck it. I'm calling it a potion from now on.
Update Saturday January 14th, 2023. 5:43 AM
I poured my first glass of the stuff as seem here:
While hard to see on the photo, what I thought was purple was actually a dark pink or red. Not sure how that happened, but there doesn't seem to be a single trace of green from the Chlorophyll or golden brown from the white tea. Upon taking my first sip, I noticed that it tastes, kinda sweet. Which is to be expected since Oasis said "No Sugar Added." meaning the sweetness is the natural sweetness from the fruit the juice is made of. However other than that it feels like I'm drinking water. Almost no other taste whatsoever. So on top of adding to this already beautiful potion, it seems to mask any flavours of the tea and the chlorophyll. To make a comparison, while Chlorophyll is usually tasteless, if you put too much in say water, it would taste like you're drinking fresh cut grass, which would be unsettling to most people. So the fact that on top of potential health benefits the juice can actually make it taste better, is a welcome accident.
Update 6:44 AM
This was unexpected. I kept smoking for a bit to see if the smoke detox thing was a fluke or not, but within an hour of me drinking this stuff, my cravings for cigarettes became almost non-existent. Not so much a 100% quit, but I feel like I need a cigarette lesser than the last time this stuff worked on me. Not sure if it's the tea, the chlorophyll or the berry juice, but whatever it is, it fucking works.
Update Sunday January 15 2023:
After a few glasses periodically, I've noticed the usual stuff, my cravings reduced, my body slowly being cleaned out and the energy boost it's given me. Then I noticed something else. I've been very calm. I mean more calmer than usual. Things bug me less now. I think this may be it.
Now I've covered the aspects I wanted to cover with this drink. So I'll consider this a successful concoction. That means I can simply get a bigger container so I can have more. I would like you all whom have followed me through this to try it out for yourself. Or even better suggest some other health aspects I could try to cover. Or even better try to come up with potions of your own.
Now I'm not 100 percent certain of this article being accurate, but if it is, Putin is planning to retire as president and is already eyeing successors. A source in that article claims he's doing this because he fears that a coup may happen to him. Something that hasn't happened to Russia since the Bolsheviks took out The Tsar.
So let me get this straight, you dickless, child killing, women raping, fascist son of a bitch. You think if you retire, that people are just gonna suddenly forget what you did and you get to retire like nothing happened? I don't fucking think so. I was gonna do the front page thing for my newest album, but this needs to be told. To any of my Russian Fans out there as well as any fans of outside countries including but not limited to Ukraine I implore you. Never let him live this down. I don't usually encourage violence even against my worst enemies on this site, but in this case I'll make an exception Blast him on the internet, punch him in the face if you see him walking down the street. If you're driving, run him over. Make sure be it in Russia or anywhere outside including but not limited to the famously neutral Switzerland, that this guy does not get off easy should his successor even remotely pardon him for his crimes against humanity. That's right.
I may not take his bullshit seriously, but he is still a criminal in my eyes and criminals that committed crimes like the one he did, deserve punishment. Not lawful punishment, the kind that's usually reserved in the pits of Hell.
And a new computer to replace this outdated piece of shit:
If you ever wanted to know how I made my music, both here and the past years on bandcamp, look no further than this old Dell. For the past decade I've used this and one just like it before, to create my music and provide entertainment for those who want it. It was only a year ago that this started breaking down and through quick thinking and sheer force of will, I kept that damn thing alive until I was able to get a new one and transfer all my shit onto that.
How bad was it. While everyone else moved onto Windows 10 I was still using this fucking thing at Window's 7. The software I used was outdated and despite my false hope that it would one day return, the notification to uninstall flash drive kept bugging the hell out of me.
Yet despite all that I will no doubt miss my old computer. Rest in Pieces old Friend.
It will take me a while to get back into the swing of things, but silver lining, I got a brand new computer and as a result a key component to the mini-studio I plan to build. Stay tuned for more entertainment.
Well we made it. While I have little hopes to what this new year holds, I do hope you all cherish and celebrate with dignity and to many adults a shitload of weed and booze. My resolution is to keep providing entertainment any way I can.
We been through a lot this past year. Vaccine conflicts, Russia V Ukraine and the death of Queen Elizabeth II.
Yet despite all that we treat each new year as a blessing and a fresh start.
I wish you all a safe, fun and most of all A very Happy New Year.
For those who celebrate Christmas or any special occasion that involves the ritual of gift giving. Some people often have a difficult time finding the best gift for their friends or loved ones. Most of the time some people get so disillusioned by the increase commercialism of the holidays that they either by nothing at all or hand cash or gift cards to see if it's enough for what they want. However there are a select few people whom even if it does contribute to said commercialism that would base on their knowledge of the receiver would come up with the most thoughtful gifts. I am one of those people.
So I thought this year I would give you the tips I use whenever I go Christmas shopping or any other occasion.
Find their interests. This is the easiest one. One of the most things people often find either the most boring or interesting about get togethers is the converstation aspect. Which is often covered by the usual topics, life, work, love, money, politics, drama, things like that. However while some may find it boring or cringing, I myself use that to piece together what they may want as a gift. If you're at the house of one of the people on your gift list, that's even better. Be it through pictures, books, or any type of item common around households, it's easier to know what they want based on that. So look around. Find something that could help you.
Find out their problems. One of the best gifts you could ever give them is a solution to whatever problem they have be it minor or major. For example if someone is under too much stress and you can afford a spa, give them a gift certificate for that. It shows that you care enough to help people out. And this holiday season, is built on helping each other out.
If you can't buy it, build it. Most of the times, the best gifts to give to someone is something that is literally made out of love. If you're good at sculpting or building things, then that'd be your gift to them.
Follow these tips exactly and you will gurantee a great holiday experience.
Have a Merry Christmas, A Happy New Year and Happy Holidays.
Ever noticed that when you're a kid and when you become an adult things always seem different than how you view them as kids? As a kid, things seem so fresh and new even in the worst places you live in and the world is your oyster, but as an adult things look different good or bad. On the good side of things, it makes what you appreciate as a kid even better for reasons only an adult can understand. As an adult some of the things you thought was beautiful, but turned out bad, would hurt you, because you felt like you were lied to in some way.
Myself, I have the luxury of still holding onto that perspective I had as a child while still seeing the world through the eyes of an adult. My inner child yearns for the days when I can just appreciate the beauty of the world around me, while the adult looks at the kid and wonders "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Much like in life, though it can also apply to the media we consume. Books, TV Shows and Especially movies.
In my case, one of my favourite movies growing up as a child is The Nutty Professor:
The 1996 remake of this 1966 comedy classic:
For the summary, it's a modern Jekyll and Hyde Story starring Eddie Murphy whom plays multiple roles, but the most prominent being Sherman Klump. An overweight, chemistry teacher with a quirky family, but zero confidence in himself as a person, due to being made fun of both by his boss and those not close to him. Upon falling in love with Grad Student Carla Purdy, Sherman decides tonight's the night to test out his new formula. A blue chemical that has the ability to turn him from fat to thin. Once the test was successful, he becomes Buddy Love, the suave yet obnoxious thin man whom started out as a cover name, but later developed into a personality of his own who wishes to eliminate Sherman forever.
Now when I first watched the movie as a kid, I thought nothing of it, a quirky sci-fi comedy filled with swearing and fart jokes as seen here:
However watching this movie again as an adult I began to notice a few things. My perspective of the movie had changed.
None so prominent as the prelude to the Fatzilla segment:
For those who haven't seen the movie yet. This takes place after a failed date with Carla Purdy. She took him to a popular club called The Scream. They had a good time at first, but then insult comic, Reggie Warrington played by the very talented Dave Chappelle catches wind of him. He first takes it with good humour, but when the heckling became too much, despite Carla insisting that she enjoyed the date with him, he was too depressed to even accept that he was practically in the first steps of their relationship. Proceeding to binge eat to comfort himself.
Now as a kid while I did see it as kinda sad, I thought it was funny seeing Sherman down that jar of candy like he was drinking beer. Even Eddie must have found some humour in the scene since he couldn't do the Ice Cream part of it without laughing as seen in the outtakes.
However watching it again as an adult, with a better perspective of what he was going through I felt sad. The man was crying real tears and nearly eating himself to death because his confidence was so shattered, it felt like nothing mattered to him more. Made me look at the movie in a whole new way. And while it did make me sad, it made me appreciate the movie more.
That is just an example of how one's perspective can change growing up.
I would like to ask you all, if there was anything you seen both as a kid and as an adult, but viewed them differently in both ways. Let me know.
This one was long overdue, because I wanted to explain things to you in a way that would help you understand.
First of all in terms of my views on comedy. I was born on April Fools Day, so that pretty much sums it up. Either people think I have a great sense of humour or make me an easy target for pranks whether it's lighthearted jabs or mean spirited ridicule.
In terms of my sense of Humour, it varies. Some jokes I make are pretty funny and hilarious. However others are swing and a miss. A problem many comedians share. So to better sum up my views I will break things down.
Favourite Genres:
Slapstick, Classic, Stand-up, Satire and Dark Comedy to name a few are my favourite Genres, but to me they must be done the right way for it to work. The Three Stooges for example, are a great example of Slapstick Comedy. Mainly because the injuries are overshadowed by the sounds made as well as the sounds the stooges themselves Make. Classic Comedy I think still has a place in the modern world because regardless of the content, it reminds us just how old Comedy in general can be. Some people would prefer George Burns over Chris Rock. Stand-Up Comedy is great because I feel it allows the comedians to not only come up with funny antics of their lives but also allow them to vent any anger and frustration they feel about said lives while giving the audience a good laugh. Satire is hit or miss for me because it depends on the context of the satire. Dark Comedy I like because you can take the darkest topics of the world and make it funny if done right.
Views On What's Funny:
When it comes to the Genres Above, most of the time it's the subject matter that gets tricky. A lot of us have our own views on what's funny or not and a lot of us have our own views on what we think the joke is supposed to mean as opposed to the comedian's in general. Before I get into it further, there are three rules of Comedy:
Timing. Doing the right joke at the right time is sure to bring a lot of laughs.
No Subject is Taboo. Either all are funny or none are funny, however this rule gets abused too much which I will get to later.
The most important one. It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Which on top of the second rule can often happen. But I will get to that later.
Now when you get down to it, a lot of comedy movies and shows from the 50s to now have often gotten famous for pushing the envelope and surprising their audience with something new to throw them off guard. It could be something as simple as saying something you couldn't say on TV before or it could touch on a subject very few talked about before.
Cue Comedians like Mel Brooks and Norman Lear. Both of which are heavily into satire among most comedies and a lot of people have taken their messages the wrong way. And none so blatant as Brooks' Blazing Saddles and Lear's famous sitcom All In The Family:
Now to a modern audience, they would think these shows promote Racism and that anyone that watches and enjoys them, are racists. However what they fail to realize is the context behind these shows and characters. In the case of them both, Brooks and Lear came up with a way to battle Racism, by having their worst characters express it in such an over the top way, that audience members would think they were too stupid or too silly to take seriously. Meaning that. And while it did work for Blazing Saddles once some audiences got through watching the movie from beginning to end, it didn't work so well with All In The Family. That is until I saw some reaction videos. In the case of All In The Family it was a happy accident. When it first started out a lot of the wrong people latched on to Archie Bunker, despite him initially being the sitcom villain of the show. When Lear realized a lot of people loved Archie, rather than try to tell the audience they were stupid he did what most creators rarely do and tweaked the character. Archie initially started out as downright malicious, before they simply made him just naively ignorant. During his final show Archie Bunker's Place it all culminated into an iconic scene that would have made a lot of people proud while still maintaining a humorous show:
So in short on that one when it comes to subjects like racism in comedy. I veer towards all the ones that do anti-racism. It allows you to hear the words, but at the same time helps you realize how stupid the words are.
Same with subjects that are just as touchy like Rape and Murder.
In the case of Murder. Murder can be funny in terms of dark comedy, but at the same time some people go to far in their comedy when they base their murder scenes off real life kills. Such as Simpsons making fun of Charles Whitman:
Now to be fair on the writers, they were simply invoking that Ned hated Homer so much that he saw everyone as Homer and wanted to kill them. That's funny, but when I looked up where this was based off of, it became less funny to me. Now I'm not saying you can't use real life murders even the most taboo of them, for comedy. Lord knows if done right, you got yourself a great bit of satire on top of that. However if your whole comedy was based solely on recreating the murder and less on the comedic context you were trying to plan, then that's not being funny. That's being a sick bastard to me.
Same goes with jokes based off Rape. Now George Carlin had already gone through the rules on what it takes to make that subject funny and to the credit of most comedians, from stand up to Newgrounds, they followed those rules well and no one got hurt:
However like many taboo subjects some comedians or assholes that think they're funny, take things too far.
Case in point James Gunn. Now whether you're against him or defending him, things must be addressed. I do believe he meant every word on those disgusting "jokes" of his, however that's no the point, you're entitled to disagree with me on this. However, the thing that pissed me off, about the whole thing was that he was telling "Pro-Rape Jokes." Much like Racism there are Pro and Anti-Rape jokes. Anti-Racism jokes go through great lengths including but not limited to various uses of the slurs and actions to show how stupid racism is. Pro-Racism jokes is that the punch line is the race that the racist telling the joke hates. Anti-Rape jokes go so far as showing the full scene to show how bad it is and how wrong the rapists are for doing what they do. Pro-Rape jokes were created by Rapists whom use them to try to normalize rape to people, in an effort to take down anti-rape laws. It's a form of satire that disgusts me because said satire is saying "You're the freak if you aren't gonna go through great lengths to fuck someone." Gunn's jokes were pro-rape and I don't give a fuck how many people like Slither, Scooby-Doo or Guardians of The Galaxy. He should answer for that shit and not get a slap on the wrist.
Now that pretty much sums up my views on Pro- and Anti- stuff. The one "comedy" I cannot for the life of me stand is this new thing going around for the past 20 years. The Comedy where people act like assholes to each other in public, then when called out for it, they backtrack claiming they were joking. I don't know what kind of sick fucks you have to be to find that funny but it's not. We live in a world where if we say the wrong thing at the wrong time that we get cancelled for various reasons. So needless to say even if you assholes were joking, you're not helping the situation, you're making it worse. Confusing people and laughing at them about it isn't funny. Yelling at someone on the net or in public is not funny. It's sick and it's wrong and has to be stopped. And for those who think I don't have a sense of humour simply because I don't find that funny. Fuck you. You broke the rules of comedy, you're not funny. You're nothing but a bunch of loser bullies waiting to pounce on anyone that ruins your fun then goes through great lengths to destroy them simply because they don't find you funny. Newsflash. The world doesn't revolve around you so stop revolving around others who clearly don't like you.
With that said, other than that, comedy is something we really need in these troubling times. Take care, be safe and have a laugh.
After a couple of days of making and drinking the stuff, the results for the most part have been relatively the same. Albeit with some small signs of the pomegranate juice working such as my skin becoming smoother. So external stuff is ok. However there is a flaw. If one is under high periods of stress the cortisol in their system inhibits the effects. So needless to say, even if drinking this for nearly a week or two, works, if I get stressed out I may relapse into smoking. That said, now that I know the problem I can solve it. While it may take time, I need to find something to add, that will severely lower cortisol levels in my body. That's right. Phase 4 is gonna be focused on the relief of physical stress. When physical stress can be relieved, mental health can be healed. Stay tuned.
