CIEIR NEWS

Currrent Events, Entertainment News, Funnies

Letter From The Editor:

Sometimes when you least expect it, good things can happen for yourself, your social circles and the rest of the world in unexpected ways. It's one of the reasons why I do believe there is something out there that religion may have only glanced a small part of it. However, as miraculous as they are, they don't often last. I suggest to any of my fellow readers, to never take those things for granted. Which leads to my recent current events.

Putin Got His

For all those still lamenting and suffering over what's going on in Ukraine, fret no longer. I just recently found out that two things happened to Dickless in the past 3 months. The first was in March. Just a month after the invasion began. Senator Lindsay Graham urged for the assassination of Putin. Whether anyone followed through or not I don't know, but an assassin did strike, one month later. An invisible assassin that can't be seen by anyone else. Only exists within the target it's after. That assassin is known as cancer. It has recently been revealed that in the past April Vladimir Putin has been undergoing treatment for both blood and thyroid cancer. Now as someone who has lost a loved one to cancer, a loss that has haunted me for over a decade, I can safely say without any hint of joke or sarcasm, that you are fucked. I won't tell you how to prolong it because unlike said loss, you don't deserve to live after what you've done. I can however out loud tell everyone that now is your chance to kill this motherfucker. The thing that makes cancer much worse, is stress as the stress on one's body and mind makes one more vulnerable to said disease. The man was already under enough stress when he snapped during isolation when Covid was at an all time high. Even if he's 100% Cancer Free all it would take is one event, be it in his personal or professional life for it to come back worse than ever. Trust me, I know. I've seen it myself happen to people less deserving of it. So I suggest everyone, The UN, NATO, even the citizens still protesting and getting arrested, to keep pissing him off. If he dies, then so does this conflict. Normally I don't wish cancer on people, but there is no one more deserving of it than this slimy, manipulative, disgusting man. Vlady, I'll see you in Hell.

Preparations For Pride Day

Toronto has begun preparations for the 41st Annual Pride Day. If you're part of the LGBTQ+ or support them, then make your way to El Mocambo on June 8th for the launch date. If you're a -phobe or a pedophile then get the fuck out.

Platinum Jubilee 2022

The U.K. has just celebrated 70th anniversary of The Platinum Jubilee of Queen Elizabeth II. Unfortunately Her majesty couldn't make it due to what she could only describe as discomfort. As if this isn't bad enough, Prince Andrew has tested positive for Covid. Let's wish both a great recovery.

Entertainment News

Local Newgrounds News

@Kronosxl has just released his EP Voices of My Head which can be seen here.

A big congrats to @PearlHikara whom as of today has recieved 20 followers. Let's see if we can help him make it to at least 100.

@Demonicity has released his album Modulate Reality as announced here.

Hollywood News

Top Gun Maverick has just been accused of being a recruitment video for Right Wing Culture Crusade. I tell you some things never change. The original Top Gun as in the same Top Gun in which was the first to not only accused of depicting the Navy as a Gay Stereotype, but also be the basis of the infamous decades long worn out "Tom Cruise is Gay" rumour, was also accused of being a recruitment video, for the U.S. Navy. Now granted the movie along with the other Cruise classic, A Few Good Men, did make the Navy look more badass, so it's possible people would want to join to be like Pete "Maverick" Mitchel or Daniel Kaffee. However, that is not grounds for recruitment. Nor is the Sequel to blame if some dumbass right winged jerks decide to quote the movie word for word and treat it like Manson treats Helter Skelter.

Universal Studios announces that by 2023, the Mario Kart Ride will be part of their Super Nintendo World. Damn if I were in the states, I'd love to see that. But alas.

AMC's Better Call Saul, the epic Breaking Bad Spin off, is about to end it's show with the first of six final episodes of Season 6. This may sadden many fans, whom have gotten to know familiar characters including but not limited to Gustavo Fring and Jimmy McGill aka Saul Goodman, however it is a welcome relief that they were able to finish it this far, when you consider Saul's actor, Bob Odenkirk, recovered from a near fatal heart attack last year.

Funnies

-Ok that's it, next one I'm doing myself.-

Thanks for reading, if you're feeling generous check out my bandcamp and tip me on Ko-Fi.

Unlike my newsletter, I'm going to make this one short and sweet. The bad news is, my fellow Ontarians conservatives won again, meaning Doug "crackhead" Ford is still premier.

However here's some good news and I really hope this is true. The NDP, New Democratic Party is the opposition. For those who don't know, in Canada, we have both leaders and oppositional parties. And the opposition's power, is simply to veto any decision the leaders make, as well as hold them accountable in public for any transgressions. In layman's terms, that means whoever is leading the NDP, is legally allowed to call Doug Ford out on his bullshit and hinder him if necessary.

Now normally, there's often nothing to do to oppose save for a few things. However each party, has been riding on the recent events in Ontario as well as the rest of Canada. One of their promises, what's the find the way to reduce inflation and the gas prices that have recently soared. Meaning, if Ford ever decided to escalate things to impossible amounts they are capable of doing everything in their power to stop him. Lex Luthor once said "Do you have any idea how much power I would give up if I became president?" In Ford's case this is what he was talking about. He may be in the seat for now, but he's stuck in the middle between two parties that hate him as much as he hates them and that's a place no one wants to be. He won but he lost. And they are going to fry him.

CIEIR NEWS

Current Events, Entertainment News, Funnies

Letter From The Editor:

I make it a point not to put political news on this because I try to remain neutral and unbiased. Unlike Fox News for Conservatives and CNN for Liberals, I never try to push any narrative other than "Knowing by seeing and hearing." I don't lean on one side of the other and if one party happens to benefit certain wants and needs and the other plans on fucking me over, I welcome them to try, because they don't fucking scare me. The only time I mention political figures is during times of war I deem them responsible for. I'll explain it in current events, why I'm making this exception one time.

Also I'm thinking of doing an opinion section and I welcome any one who has something to say be it the comments or the newsletter itself.

Current Events:

Election Ontario Final Day What The Fuck Is Wrong With You:

As a Canadian, I make it a point not to vote, because whether I vote for the majority which is winning anyway or voting on the opposition, to me it doesn't matter because I figure me and others like myself are fucked anyway. However I have never seen such stupidity by my fellow Ontarians. It makes me ashamed of being one. I look at the polls and I see the Conservative Party taking the lead. Now I have nothing against the party itself, as part of my neutrality and centrism revolves around finding the best and worst of each party. What I do have against is it's current leader. Doug Ford. I can tell you all with all honesty, that this man isn't just a bad politician, but he's a vile, disgusting, corrupt, bigoted piece of shit. This was the guy that cut off the annual increase of ODSP in 2018, with bullshit promises to bring it back, which he has yet to do. When pressed about it, by those opposing him, he dismissed them all as lazy people that should get jobs. That is on him. However here's the part that isn't his fault. Despite many many people claiming otherwise, how much they hate this prick, for various reasons. Such as his housing problem being to build more houses for Rich people and giving less to poor, working and middle class, you dumb motherfuckers still vote for him. This was the guy who pretty much prolonged the Pandemic by reopening and closing non-essential places. The man who basically called an autistic boy and his father, potential jihadists. But you see him with workers in an obvious plug and you think "This guy is the man of the people." Fuck you. At this point, I don't give a fuck if Liberals, whom I also hate, NDP which I feel bad for because they never really had a chance to fuck things up, Green or even Quebecois wins. Somebody please throw this crack smoking, disable hating, province raping SON OF A BITCH!! We already have enough problems with the rise in food and gas prices, this guy would make things worse. I am literally begging any Ontarians out there that are voting age or know someone of legal voting age to turn the tides, if you do, I may actually consider voting with you. Prove me wrong on whether or not voting matters.

Russian Troops Pushed Out Kyiv:

Some more good news in Ukraine. While the fight rages on it's 98th Day, Russian Troops have been pushed out of Kyiv. If people could keep pressing on like that and not back down, then odds are they could turn the tide over. I just wish that we'd be allowed to go there and fight along side Ukraine. The one thing I can't stand though is so many people, whether they're from Russia or not still think Putin's in the right. If I could collect all the blood of the people he's killed (Not just Ukraine, everywhere.), put it in a bucket and dump it on their heads, they'd be drowning in it. They'll complain about it and still act like it's not his fault. At this point if not for the local laws, I'd punch out anyone who opens their mouth and speaks something positive about Dickless.

World Covid Update:

Out of 533,146,650 people in the world infected, 504,150,944 have officially recovered. With 6,314,646 dead, that leaves, 226,810,60 people that could go either way. Now that may seem a lot, because that's the sum total, but the new cases and death reports have begun to reduce. With the deaths actually going by nearly 900 as opposed to the thousands in Canada and US alone. It doesn't seem much, but it seems like things are healing for the better.

Entertainment News:

Local Newgrounds News:

@Dieswyx has posted a new album called Keygen Beats. Available on Bandcamp.

@NoStereo Has announced The Adrift OST, which can be viewed here.

@underscore8298 Has announced the release of what he considers his ultimate project. Which can be viewed here.

Hollywood News:

Against all odds, Johnny Depp has officially won the lawsuit against Amber Heard for Defamation of Character. The jury awards Depp $15 000 000. Personally, I still think the whole thing is a fucking circus. However, I abide by laws and if the law says Depp is right, then I agree. Johnny, I wish to offer you sincere congratulations and I offer my apologies for ever doubting your innocence or your win. That being said you're not out of the woods yet. While the Law may say you're right, Disney and WB, whom made your life Hell by kicking you off Pirates of the Carribean and Fantastic Beasts, owe you an engraved apology and should they continue to use your likeness for Jack Sparrow's side of the ride at Disneyland, you have every right to sue for copyright. If they thought you were right all along they would have rehired you, but I have yet to see them do that let alone a simple apology.

Mission Impossible 7 is set to be released July 23, 2023. Filming of the movie was shut down twice due to the complications regarding Covid. The recent being last year, when Tom went on an infamous rant against two crew members for violating the social distance protocols. Production has since been shut down when some crew members tested positive for the virus. Now regarding my feelings on Tom Cruise it's complicated. As an actor, I enjoy his movies, seeing him in public interviews rub me the wrong way and I personally think his Religion Scientology is not only bullshit, but they wish they were a cult. Instead they're basically a glorified Sci-Fi Convention. That being said, I agree with his rant here. This guy is literally showing concern for the health and safety of the cast and crew and whoever he's yelling at either doesn't know or doesn't care the risks involved. The media tries to portray him as the bad guy in this, but they're the bad guys in this. That being said, with the success of Top Gun Maverick, I'm certain that this movie will get made even if Tom has to pay everything out of his own pocket. The full rant below:

Speaking of Top Gun, Val Kilmer, famous for playing Tom "Iceman" Kazansky is reported to have been in remission for his long battle with throat cancer. The legendary veteran actor, known for playing such roles as Batman and Doc Holliday had to struggle to speak in order to portray Iceman in the recent sequel. Here's hoping speaking is a joy rather than a struggle.

Funnies:

-seriously no one wants to put their stuff here? If I don't get some levity for these reports, it's just gonna make people sad. Oh well.-

Thanks for reading, if you're feeling generous check out my bandcamp and tip me on Ko-Fi.

I'm debating whether or not to make my own stock sound effects using the tech I used to make my music.

Mostly fantastic and violent sounds. Laser blasts, vehicle sounds, punches, kicks, explosions. Stuff you'd expect to hear in sci-fi movies, anime and the like.

Let me know what you think and more importantly what to suggest.

CIEIR News:

Current Events, Entertainment News, Funnies

Letter from the Editor:

Words. That is all. Just kidding. The world gets more fucked up the older I get. Every time it seems like things get good and give us hope something bad happens that makes us drop everything to react and gawk at it. Unless there is literally anything we can do, we would, but we can't despite most local news guilt tripping people and making them feel bad for not doing something they are neither capable of or in a position to do. I say fuck you. If we can't do a thing about it then let us move on and improve our own lives or maybe stop observing what is going on, get off your fat lazy selfish journalistic salary asses and do it yourself. Bad enough you rope adults in this shit, but you're doing this to kids.

Current Events:

Texas Elementary Massacre:

On May 24th 21 people in the Robb Elementary School were slaughtered in a mass shooting. 19 students and 2 teacher. The shooter, Salvador Ramos had announced his intention to shoot said school after he shot his grandmother. He has since been fatally shot by local authorities. Now this would normally be the part where a journalist, would come up with some bullshit interpretation to make us sympathize with the shooter. As well as blame such bullshit on media and mental disorders like autism. I am not most journalists. This man killed little kids. Killed two teachers for trying to stop him and nearly killed his grandmother. He can go to Hell. Fuck him and fuck his mother for not seeing it coming.

Russia Ukraine Conflict Gets Worse:

As the conflict gets worse, everyone is wasting time with meetings that go nowhere. Look you guys kicked Russia out of the UN human rights council it didn't work. You provided aid to Ukraine both soldier and civilian alike and it got intercepted. So needless to say it didn't work. You've literally have proof that Putin has broken world laws and should be placed under arrest for war crimes and genocide. Yet I don't see a single Peacekeeper let alone 100 of them storming the Kremlin and dragging him by his lack of balls to the nearest prison. Either go to war or hire mercs, because this shit is on the losing end and in terms of world armies we are just standing there and doing nothing. Stop making us feel guilty about this shit if you're not doing anything about it you enabling COWARDS!!

Russian Plane Grounded in Toronto:

Since February 27 a massive Russian Plane owned by Volga-Dnepr, has been grounded due to Canada's ban on Russian Airliners from Canadian Airlines. The owners currently fined $93,000 in parking fees. Since the plane can't leave the airport due to said ban let's hope this fuck up bankrupts Putin's Economy. No money, no army.

Entertainment News:

Local NewGrounds News:

@TomFulp is making a playlist looking for upbeat songs that would inspire or go well with games. It can be seen here.

@VariableGR is offering music for whatever the situation calls for from animation to games. Having listened to his music, I can safely say it's an offer you can't refuse. Offer can be seen here.

@PearlHikara is looking for an alternative to Scratch. Any computer geeks out there willing to help can find Pearl here.

Hollywood News:

It is with great regret to inform you that Ray Liotta is dead. The 67 year old actor famous for playing Henry Hill on the Scorsese classic Goodfellas died in his sleep. Hopefully wherever he is, he's being just as charismatic and entertaining as he was in life and hope to God Pesci isn't next because he stll hasn't answered his question. "Funny how?"

Power Rangers veteran Austin St. John pleads "Not guilty." After being arrested for and accused of Covid-19 related fraud. Austin, who was famous for playing Jason Lee Scott aka the first Red Ranger on Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, is currently out of custody determined to fight this case. I wish you luck Red Ranger, but if the shit turns out to be true, you have single-handidly murdered my childhood.

The Exorcist Franchise is set to be rebooted with the first film coming out on October 2023. On one hand since Blumhouse Studio hasn't steered us wrong with Halloween, I have faith this may succeed where the others failed. On the otherhand since the 2010s - 2020s is all about bashing hit movies, a catholic themed story about a faith strugglong priest trying to save the life of a posessed child may not sit well with the modern world. Still let's just hope it becomes scary enough that no one cares about anything but running out the theater to puke and wet themselves in fear. Much like the original.

Funnies:

-This Space For Rent-

Thanks for reading, if you're feeling generous check out my bandcamp and tip me on Ko-Fi.

Over the years regardless of whatever topic we are given. It's often the same bullshit that comes with it. "You're with us or against us." "Pick a side or die." "Can't decide, we hate you for thinking." We've literally been conditioned with this crap since childhood and to be honest I want to beat the shit out of every single person that got us started and the idiots that profit off keeping it going. The world is neither black nor white. It's gray. It's not simple, it's complicated and complex. So why do we play by those bullshit rules.

Take my life for example. Everyone goes fucking nuts the second I claim Hiroshima and Nagasaki should be considered Genocide. Claiming that I have no respect for Pearl Harbour or Nanjing and that I HAVE to drop Japan if I consider myself supportive of the Allies of old. Nevermind that at least two members of my families are Allied Soldiers. Nor that despite their justifications those bombs slaughtered civilians and subjected future generations that have fuck all to do with what said Axis soldiers did to a lifetime of illness and deformity. Just because I bring up Hiroshima and Nagasaki does not nean I care less about Pearl Harbour or Nanjing. It means I care enough to hold EVERYONE accountable for the war and let's face it, we may look at the Allies as heroes, but to those that suffered from our "Heroisim" we are the monsters. If you can't accept that and move on then we can't improve this world for the better. Our failure to take responsibility is what caused world damage to begin with. But tgat's just one example.

In Politics you either vote for one side or the other. Ever since I was at legal age to vote in Canada I didn't. Why? Because it doesn't matter. One vote neither affects the majority good or bad. If it did I would have voted out Doug "I smole crack and rob disabled people of their right to live" Ford years ago. But I ramble on. Regardless of the merits each side offers, we also inherit their problems. We vote liberal, we think we're helping the poor and middle class, but we're only helping rich white privlieged Liberals. We vote conservative, we think we're helping the working class, when in actuality we are helping guys like Ford kill the rest of us while he smokes up. As for 3rd and fourth parties I fucking give up promoting them. Why? Because they bever had a chance to fuck things up yet and they never will. They may as well not exist. That being said we been going about this all wrong. Rather than choose the more survivable merits and endure tje downsides, which we all have been doing for centuries. Why not just have one representative of each party come in. They work together and find common ground. They showed they were capable of it when War is on the line. Why not 24/7.

Then you have hot button topics like abortion and Anti-Vax. I'm both Pro-Life and Pro-Choice. I think it's taking a life no matter what, but I won't stand in the way of anyone's rights to have one. Yet both sides seem to be under the impression that one side should dominate the other. Fuck you both on that one. Same with Vax and Anti-Vax. You can't force someone to take a needle. Nor can you force someone not to take a needle. Either learn to live with each other or you're both grounded. I'm not joking. Should be surprised how many grown adults, act like screaming children over this shit.

It's not too late to actually unite the world rather than find more bullshit excuses to keep us divided. Either accept the gray or shut the fuck up.

CIEIR News

Current Events, Entertainment News, Funnies

Letter From The Editor:

Since this is my first Newsletter, it will be somewhat bare-bones. No pictures. No Headers or anything like that. Just a basic structure of what my intention is for this. Aside from just wanting to be another addition to many newsletters out there, I've been looking for a way to not only promote my work more, but to also promote the works of others who are trying to make it in their branches of Entertainment. After seeing how much success I got by being featured in @TheTankTribune many times, I thought it'd be a sign that I should help promote others in a similar way, while also covering certain events. If there is anyone who'd like to be featured in this Newsletter don't hesitate to ask. The only thing I ask in return is you promote my work in return.

Current Events:

Violent Saturday Storm Devastates Ontario:

As of yesterday, the Death Toll in Ontario's violent Saturday storm has risen to 10 people. The Storm called Dorocho hit many cities such as London, Kitchener-Waterloo, Toronto, Kingston and Ottawa, before moving onto Quebec. Causing major structural damage and power outages all over. Communities, Emergency Services, Electric Companies and Provincial Officials are working on further surveying the damage and rebuilding everything that is dsetroyed.

War Criminal Sentenced To Life In Prison:

21 Year Old Russian Army Sergeant Vadim Shyshimarin, who was arrested and tried for fatally shooting a 62 year old unarmed Ukranian Civilian, has been sentenced to life in prison for his crime as of yesterday. Although Ukraine suffers a heavy blow due to Russia's claim of Maripoul, this reporter sincerely hopes that this sliver of justice offers much needed relief and hope.

Current Vaccination Rate and New Disease Reports:

As of today, 66.4% of the World has been given one dose of the Covid-19 Vaccine, 60.4% of the world is given two doses and 25.1%, has been given an additional booster. If these numbers are accurate, then at least more than half the world is vaccinated while more than a quarter is boosted. However we're not quite out of the woods yet. While things look like they're beginning to die down, two new diseases have cropped up. A resurge of Polio has made a comeback recently around the same times Anti-Vax Organizations have gained leverage over the fear of the Covid Vaccine. Gee I wonder why? As if that's not bad enough, a disease called Monkeypox just got introduced in Canada, although the World Health Organization claims it can be contained. In the words of Michael Corleone, just when we thought we were out, they pull us back in.

Entertainment News:

Local NewGrounds News:

@cyangorilla is advertising prints of his works with Free Shipping and a 10% Discount Code, which can be seen here.

@EpithetSoup is Offering Comissions which can be seen here.

@TheMusicalManiac is taking suggestions for more songs to work on. Which can be seen here.

Hollywood News:

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard continue slinging mud at each other during the defamation suit. Just fucking end it already.

Will Smith is still going down from the Oscar Slap, while Chris Rock continues to rise. I am still not over the fact that this was considered the worst Oscar moment. Not the time when that Native got booed for rejecting Marlon Brando's Oscar for The Godfather. Nor the fact that they still honour Roman "Kid Rapist" Polanski. No a slap in the face is bad.

In the lighter side of the news Junji Ito fans may rejoice as Uzumaki is set to release on October 2022. This reporter cannot wait to see how many WTF Moments they'll get away with from the book. It should be worth the watch if the members of Adult Swim are going so far as going to a Shinto Shrine to pray for good luck.

Funnies:

-Insert Art or Funny Comic Here-

Well I hope you enjoy reading that. This piece of news is free, but if you're feeling generous, check out my bandcamp or tip me at Ko-Fi.

From this point on whenever that front page thing pops up on my newspost edit page, I'll use it strictly to advertise my work. Mainly so I can spread it through a wider audience. I haven't sold anything yet these past 2 years, but as long as I can get more people interested in it, then I may get more than just mere financial success. Call it my second wind. Without further adieu here's the next bandcamp bundle.

Swear Jar 3: Life In Hell

I thought I'd do a bit more mean spirited dark comedy, just to see if I can, chalked with jokes on Political Satire and Celebrity Bullshit. The 4 is a Typo, but screw it, considering the guy is in Hell I consider it a concluding trilogy.

A Fucked Up Funeral

I'm kinda surprised that Bandcamp let me get away with saying Fuck on a title. Lyrics are one thing but a title? Anywho this is about what would happen if a funeral isn't what it seems. Some may like this, some may not.

A Hero Walks Home Tired and Fighting

This is merely a rough experiment, so I don't expect any high praise, but if you like it, more power to you.

Buy them if you can and if you're feeling generous, you can tip me at Ko-Fi, if you don't want to pay money for nothing, then there are lot's of art pictures in my shop section.

Bear in mind this is no insult or a means to compete with any major News letters that are on this site. If anything it's inspired by them.

After getting myself featured 5 times so far on @TheTankTribune, found myself fascinated by its structure. From their taglines, to the phonograph, to the artist news and other things, I feel like I should do one myself.

However I don't want to outright rip off their structure. So I ask of you my fans what should I do if I do make my own newsletter. Should it be for various topics, should have have a single theme or I go back and forth? You decide. Thank you.

First of all Happy Victoria Day on the official day.

Ok it's one thing to be featured in one issue in @TheTankTribune, it's another to be featured twice in a row.

As you know, I was featured in Last Monday's Tank Tribune as seen here:

https://thetanktribune.newgrounds.com/news/post/1272243

In that case I was promoting my playlist for the now finished:

Lovecraft Noir

They featured it in their Artist News Section.

Just today, when I was checking stuff on Newgrounds I get a notification. I was once again featured on the Tank Tribune. Only this time, it was on the Members Choice Section:

They took some of my favourite music, art, movies and games and put them in the 17th Volume of their Member's Choice. Which can be seen here:

Tank Tribune Member's Choice Vol. 17

Needless to say this feature, along with it being posted on Victoria Day, as well as being the second of two features in a row, is nothing short of freak luck at this point. However I wish to thank everyone for this. From the good people at the @TheTankTribune for featuring me once again. I wish to offer my sincere congratulations to everyone else that has been featured, you've earned it. I would also like to thank my fans for helping me get this far. This is worthy of the Corkboard:

So far I have 1 Phonograph, 2 Artist News, 1 Tagline and 1 Member's Choice. I should make a bingo card out of this for kicks. Write down the parts I didn't get featured on yet. That way if I get them at least once I can literally sing "I've Been Everywhere Man."

In all seriousness, though I offer my sincere thanks to everyone. 5 times I've been proven, that I'm going the right direction. 5 times people have shown appreciation for my work, opinion and sense of humour regarding the tagline. All this shows, that for once in my life I made an impact outside my own life and that's worth more than any financial success. I have faith I'll make it there one day so long as I keep the hits coming.