From this point on whenever that front page thing pops up on my newspost edit page, I'll use it strictly to advertise my work. Mainly so I can spread it through a wider audience. I haven't sold anything yet these past 2 years, but as long as I can get more people interested in it, then I may get more than just mere financial success. Call it my second wind. Without further adieu here's the next bandcamp bundle.

Swear Jar 3: Life In Hell

I thought I'd do a bit more mean spirited dark comedy, just to see if I can, chalked with jokes on Political Satire and Celebrity Bullshit. The 4 is a Typo, but screw it, considering the guy is in Hell I consider it a concluding trilogy.

A Fucked Up Funeral

I'm kinda surprised that Bandcamp let me get away with saying Fuck on a title. Lyrics are one thing but a title? Anywho this is about what would happen if a funeral isn't what it seems. Some may like this, some may not.

A Hero Walks Home Tired and Fighting

This is merely a rough experiment, so I don't expect any high praise, but if you like it, more power to you.

Buy them if you can and if you're feeling generous, you can tip me at Ko-Fi, if you don't want to pay money for nothing, then there are lot's of art pictures in my shop section.

Bear in mind this is no insult or a means to compete with any major News letters that are on this site. If anything it's inspired by them.

After getting myself featured 5 times so far on @TheTankTribune, found myself fascinated by its structure. From their taglines, to the phonograph, to the artist news and other things, I feel like I should do one myself.

However I don't want to outright rip off their structure. So I ask of you my fans what should I do if I do make my own newsletter. Should it be for various topics, should have have a single theme or I go back and forth? You decide. Thank you.

First of all Happy Victoria Day on the official day.

Ok it's one thing to be featured in one issue in @TheTankTribune, it's another to be featured twice in a row.

As you know, I was featured in Last Monday's Tank Tribune as seen here:

https://thetanktribune.newgrounds.com/news/post/1272243

In that case I was promoting my playlist for the now finished:

Lovecraft Noir

They featured it in their Artist News Section.

Just today, when I was checking stuff on Newgrounds I get a notification. I was once again featured on the Tank Tribune. Only this time, it was on the Members Choice Section:

They took some of my favourite music, art, movies and games and put them in the 17th Volume of their Member's Choice. Which can be seen here:

Tank Tribune Member's Choice Vol. 17

Needless to say this feature, along with it being posted on Victoria Day, as well as being the second of two features in a row, is nothing short of freak luck at this point. However I wish to thank everyone for this. From the good people at the @TheTankTribune for featuring me once again. I wish to offer my sincere congratulations to everyone else that has been featured, you've earned it. I would also like to thank my fans for helping me get this far. This is worthy of the Corkboard:

So far I have 1 Phonograph, 2 Artist News, 1 Tagline and 1 Member's Choice. I should make a bingo card out of this for kicks. Write down the parts I didn't get featured on yet. That way if I get them at least once I can literally sing "I've Been Everywhere Man."

In all seriousness, though I offer my sincere thanks to everyone. 5 times I've been proven, that I'm going the right direction. 5 times people have shown appreciation for my work, opinion and sense of humour regarding the tagline. All this shows, that for once in my life I made an impact outside my own life and that's worth more than any financial success. I have faith I'll make it there one day so long as I keep the hits coming.

This has been something that's been bugging me way before I went on Newgrounds. The recent events, being just another chapter of an overall bother.

Over the years I've been on the net. Whether it's Youtube, or formerly twitter or other social medias or even on this site I've ran into the same damn thing over and over again.

Anti-Vaxxers that claim people with Autism are the results of a vaccine side effect.

Commenters, mostly kids, but a lot of immature adults using Autism as a means to insult people. "This guy's autism is showing." "You went full autistic, never go full autistic." Shit like that.

As well as the rare odd few that actually believe that people with autism are either freaks that deserve to die at best or at worst demons from the pits of Hell. I'm not joking.

And the second someone with autism goes to defend themselves, here comes the ridicule.

"It's not you, it's the vaccine talking."

"You're a freak, why are you even here?"

And so on.

So I would like to ask everyone. Ladies, Gentlemen, that technicolor rainbow in between? Why the fuck is Autism so hated?

With Anti-Vaxxers, they could come up with a list of things that are wrong with a vaccine, including but not limited to brain damage. However whenever I ask them how these specifically create Autism, they try to change the subject or double down by insisting it just does. When in fact, they know they'll get in big trouble, if they just flat out admit they hate autistic people. Which they do. I have a message for you. You're not fooling anyone and the more you deny it, the more it makes you look bad. Just admit you hate Autism already and move on. This goes straight to those assholes at Autism Speaks, Jenny McCarthy and any dumb enough to fall for them both. Especially those that think they can cure it. So flu shots and covid shots are bad? Yet a needle full of god knows what kind of narcotics is ok so long as you don't risk any Rain Men/Women? Fuck you.

To those that comment, half of them don't even know what the word means, but keep saying it simply because it pisses those with it off. Gattaca wasn't far off when they said one day you'd be discriminated due to your genetics and mentality, these people are one day gonna be old enough to run the world and make things harder for people with physical or mental disorders simply because THEY don't like them. Either learn about what you're insulting to up your game, or shut the fuck up, because it makes you look like an Asshole.

As if things can't get any worse, the second someone with autism or claiming to be autistic is caught doing something bad, it causes those dumb enough to believe that Autism was the reason they did it, to think all Autistic people are as bad as that person. Take the Sandy Hook thing for example. Thanks to that asshole, everyone who has no clue what the fuck Autism is, looks at us like we are potential child killers.

In my conclusion, I honestly think disoders like Autism are not really disorders, but rather the next step in human evolution. We see the world differently than most people, we find things wrong that most others barely notice and the world does have to change to accommodate us and others of varying disorders. And ultimately that's what people who claim to be by society's standards "Normal" are afraid of. Not us, but change in general. Before the 2000s, we were all conditioned to hate Homosexuals and Transgender people, simply because they were different. Even coming up with excuses to get the masses against them or using them as scapegoats to push back other changes. The Simpsons even called them out on this, with this particular scene: Electric Car. Centuries before that, we were conditioned to hate other races. Even using them as scapegoats. Like a certain German/Austrian Dictator going after a certain chosen people of Israel. Yet while things have begun to quell. Not completely resolved, but quelled to a stable enough level for those demographics. Discrimination against Autism and those with other mental disorders is still on an all time high. We're used as an excuse to stop taking medicine that could save your life. Fucking Polio returned because these fuckers were worried about being Autistic.

So I want to know why. I want to hear from every Ableist, every Anti-Vaxxer, in fact every asshole on this site that's ever picked on an Autistic person, just an answer to one simple question. Why do you hate us?

This is more theoretical and I welcome anyone with more experience on the subject, but something recently occurred to me. Over the years, I often attributed to food cravings, as nothing more than satisfying a hunger. However, in the recent months I realized something. Regardless of how much each unique body requires to live let alone be healthy, there is one constant that seems to occur. Whether you're fit as a fiddle or extremely overweight, the one thing that never changes is that, when it comes to food, some people just feel like they don't have enough even if they ate an entire feast.

Now there are some reasons for this. In terms of physical hunger, sometimes what we think is hunger may be something else, like a thirst. So odds are, the body is trying to tell us to drink more fluids, but we misinterpret it as "Eat More Food." With the hunger not stopping until you finally get the hint and drink said fluids (Water, Juice, Milk etc.) Other times it's due to a major physical disorder. Be it a high metabolism at best or worse, a genetic disorder such as prader-willi syndrome. In which the sufferer of said disorder cannot tell if they're full even if they stuff themselves with deadly levels of food and drink. Said disorder made popular on CSI, when a man who suffered from said disorder died after being entered into a hot-dog eating contest. However, most of the time, much like drugs, booze and even media, there is often one other reason for this never ending hunger. Addiction.

When we are kids we are often dictated by our parents on what we eat. Mostly based on what they've eaten. That's not to say the parents themselves are at fault, as all they're trying to do is keep their kids alive. However part of that factors into it. As kids we're often told to finish our plate, even if we are full and as a result, whether you've gained weight or not, you're so used to that mentality that you can't stop yourself even if it kills you.

Now like most addictions, these can be helped in many ways. Part of it is because a lot of us like to eat certain things or can't eat anything else due to allergies, general pickiness or in my case a symptom of my autism. As a kid I could never let food touch each other. Nor would I try something that doesn't look appealing to me. In terms of food groups, I was more on the meats, grains and dairy side, than the fruits and veggies. As well as the occasional sugar based snack. Candy bars, cakes and other sweets.

However despite my attempts to curb my eating habits, I've learned that my main problem isn't so much my food choices, but the fact that I often, almost compulsively ate more than I should. It didn't take me long to figure out that was a main cause of my weight gain, but even as I was getting more active and losing weight, I couldn't shake that off. It wasn't until recently I found that if I could suppress my appetite, I could eat less through weaning process. No different than the time we as kids (Unless you were a formula baby.) had to get weaned off breast milk. The idea being that with the appetite suppressed enough, it would allow me to eat less, but rather than suffer malnutrition, I believe that if my body gets used to eating less, it will crave less. Now this kind of thing is dangerous, I'm not gonna lie. However, if one literally has the guts to get through it, it should work. Now I'm not saying you should work your way into eating nothing, because...well you'll die. What I am saying though is find a way to curb your appetite, so that your body would be used to eating less. Could be as simple as eating natural appetite suppressants as dark chocolate, high fibre meals and the like. Or if you're really want to go all the way, I suggest among most things Acaia Fibre, as it keeps you full and actively gets rid of nearly everything toxic in your guts. But I'm sure you'll find ways that will better suit you.

In conclusion, if you hear feel like you need to eat, but your stomach doesn't feel that way, odds are you're not really hungry. Just looking for a fix between meals.

The Victoria Day Weekend is upon us Canadians and I thought I'd share the celebration with those who live outside Canada. That is if they don't know about it already.

For those that don't know, Victoria Day is the constant changing day in May that is often celebrated on the Monday preceding the 25th. In this case it falls on Monday the 23rd. 23 again seriously? Anywho, the initial Holiday was meant to celebrate the birthday of Queen Victoria. Who was born on May 24. However the day evolved to celebrate Canada's Sovereign. In layman's terms our relationship with the royal family.

The day like many holidays, is often celebrated with fireworks, so I hope my fellow Canadians have theirs stashed.

But this shouldn't just be limited to Canada or the U.K. The Net was designed to unite the world, granted instead it packed us all together in one room and we argue over who's taking more air, but I think the best way to unite said world is to share the things about our parts of it to other parts and vice versa.

So I wish the world a Happy Victoria Day.

S.T. Musician. Ah screw it. Shane The Musician Here. With another bandcamp bundle. Just my recent work that I just uploaded on bandcamp for all to enjoy.

Incoming!

My first experiment in droning. Hope you all like.

Lovecraft Noir The Final Chapter

I was gonna upload this sooner or later, but then I thought it'd be fitting to do an Epilogue first. Which can also be seen in the playlist. After getting the full series featured on the Tank Tribune I decided that this series was worth it.

You Are Being Followed

My next song in droning. Just a classic horror song with some unnerving drones.

It's Coming For You!

My attempt on doing droning with other instruments. Using vocals instead of a string one.

Hope you all like this and if you're feeling generous, check out my Ko-Fi and Stripe. Which are linked on my profile.

Over the years, people have often tried to stress the difference between Fantasy and Reality. Yet, there have often been moments where some people believe Reality is the fantasy. Whether it's because they assume a different worldview or have some disorder that skews the boundaries more or in some rare cases taken far too many drugs, both legit and narcotic, some individuals often feel like they are the only real person while everyone else is imaginary.

There have even been moments where people take this point of view further, by claiming that either reality is a dream world, like in The Matrix, or what we call reality, could really be a Television show or Movie that some other universe is watching. The latter of which even became an actual disorder known as Truman Show Syndrome. Named after the hit Drama/Comedy The Truman Show.

While save for my religious beliefs, I have often tried to ground myself in reality, there are moments where I think that maybe I'm not real or that maybe my life is some other being's entertainment. There are times I walk outside talking as if I'm narrating my life to some invisible viewer ala Deadpool as a small example.

So the question is, are we even real to begin with? For all we know, we all could be someone's fantasy come to life or characters from a show in another universe.

While this is an open question here is my answer. Yes and No. Among most things, I'm a firm believer of Multiverse Theory. In which there are multiple Earths in multiple universes. Each one with a version of us existing in somewhere or another. For example a universe where The Nazis won WWII or where Kennedy got saved from being shot. So naturally I also believe there exist a universe where what we consider fiction is real and vice versa. So we are real and we aren't.

What do you think?

Like a lot of people, I am a huge anime fan. I've got my start on well known ones like Dragon Ball and Sailor Moon, but have extended my palette to other ones, whether they're well known or not. My tastes ranging from action, to horror, to even slice of life moment ones like Ponyo. But the one thing Anime has had a constant of, that many western cartoons tried to compete with over nearly a century now, is all the weird and fucked up moments one see. Whether it's played for laughs like the old gag of someone having a random washtub fall on their head, played for horror like many many scary moments in Anime (Can't wait for Uzumaki to take them down a peg) or played seriously in action like the various random beam moves they use.

There are some moments, that people do know about and others that have to be seen to believe. Here are my top 3. Spoilers.

1. Jason-Claus in Hare + Guu. For context, here's the story. It takes place in a jungle and revolves around a boy named Hare. Whom for a very tragic reason, his mother left her parents home and raised him in the jungle. His mother, brings home and adopts a little girl named Guu. Who seems too perfect to be real at first. Adorable, Friendly and possible hints of Hare maybe falling in love with her. Then the morning after, Guu is anything but that. Her adorable appearance changed into something as plain as plain can be. Her personality, going from nice to snarky and cynical. To top if off, she may or may not even be human, as shown when she possesses a lot of reality warping powers including but not limited to being able to eat people and send them to a dimension full of the most random shit you can imagine. Hare + Guu, is balls to the walls random, hilarious and has their fair share of fucked up moments. Including, but not limited to, some how Hare accidentally charming the pants off of two adult women, who go absolutely Yandere over him. My personal favourite moment, being that Hare, whom has been known to be a very competent kid, going so far as being able to make gourmet meals without even thinking, freaks out over said competence. However, the moment that stood out for me, that stuck to my head to this day, was this. It was during the 20th epsiode entitled Illusion #20: Macchiro. The jungle is suffering it's biggest heatwave yet. Mari, one of Hare's love interests on the show, is envious of the world outside the jungle and wishes she can play in the snow. The rest of the class agrees except for Hare. Since Guu can read his mind, he made the mistake of even thinking of hating snow. So Guu, being the helpful kid she is, decides to make it snow. People enjoy it at first, but of course, since Guu likes teaching people "Lessons" it backfires horribly turning the jungle into a winter wasteland while people try to stay alive. One of the ways they pass the time is tell winter stories. In which of course Christmas and Santa Claus gets brought up. It seems wholesome at first, but then they start telling scary santa stories. The build up was funny, it started with the usual jokes like "Why an old man would sneak into kid's houses at night." but then it takes a horrifyingly randomly hilarious left turn. One of the classmates Gupta imagines him to be horrifying monster and it doesn't take long for the other classmates to follow suit. Wagi, the class clown of the group, imagines him with a creepy demon mask offering the chest hair of their village elder Chorou. (A running gag on the show is that, Hare in retaliation for smothering her with it, ripped off his chest hair in retaliation and kept it as a trophy/disco wig. Anytime it grew back, she'd just rip it off again.) Then to escalate things, is where I find the best WTF moment in one of the most hilarious WTF animes in the world. Toposte, the Elder's grandson, asks what if he doesn't want the gift. Since it's his grandfather's chest hair, he fears he may grow one like his. So in his imagine sequence, the hair consumes and contains him for Santa to collect when we hear their version of "Ki Ki Ki Ma Ma Ma" in the background. Toposte's imaginary Santa, wearing a hockey mask as he collects the "Present". Now I seen a lot of fucked up moments on this show, many of which played for light horror and laughs. Yet, that was the one that never made sense to me. To add further salt on the wound, Guu "Happens" to have a mini Jason-Claus outfit to further scare Hare and the others. It still haunts me to this day and it has to be seen to believe.
2. Spirit of The Guns on Hellsing Ultimate. Now if you're an anime fan and don't know about Hellsing or at least Hellsing abridged then strap in for this one. Hellsing is a story about Integra Hellsing, the last living descendent of Dracula's long time foe, Abraham Van Helsing (In the actual lore, his foe should have been Jonathan Harker, since he was the one that originally killed him, but it's a common mistake.) She is head of Hellsing, a group that specializes in both hunting domestic terrorists as well as hunting monsters. Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies, you name it. With the help of allies including Alucard, an enhanced, immortal vampire with many powers and firearms, Seras Victoria, a former police officer turned Draculina with a specialty for using big anti-tank rifles for sniper missions, Walter, a former vampire hunter/butler who provides the weapons and gadgets and is a master of wire combat and Pip, a french mercenary who has the hots for Seras. Now this show has had it's fair share of genuine WTF moments. Such as whenever Alucard cuts loose with his powers or Seras goes into a blood rage. But the thing that really threw me off, was a small gag they did. In the OVA series, Hellsing Ultimate, Seras is handed a Harkonnen brand Anti-Tank rifle. In the third of the series, the Gun's Spirit appears to her in a dream. Modeled after it's namesake Vladimir Harkonnen of Dune. Now if this were a one-off gag, I would have ignored it, but the gag showed up twice in the series. The second time in the fifth OVA of the series. Only this time it was Alucard's signature gun "The Jackal". This spirit modelled after Bruce Willis who played the character, but does nothing but spout references to his movies. Now the thing that bothers me is not the hilariously trippy scenery that comes with both scenes, but after all is said and done. Even well after Millennium's defeat, no one ever speaks of it again. You'd think at one point Alucard and Seras would talk about it. "Master? What the fuck is up with our Gun spirits?" It's strange, it's nonsensical and it has to be seen to believe.
3. Lucifer's Brainwashing in Angel Cop. Major spoilers for this one. Angel Cop is a cult followed Anime series, based off the manga of the same name. The Anime, revolves around Tokyo in the future, becoming world economy, being threatened by a rogue communist group called The Red May. With Angel Cop and other characters being a special police force created to deal with them. The series takes a major left turn when there is a rogue group of psychics called "The Hunters" who use their powers to kill terrorists before the police or Angel can get to them. Their leader, aptly named Lucifer, claims that she's fighting for justice and that the Cops are in league with the Red May. When in fact, the reason the cops were targeted, was because they managed to successfully catch the Red May's acting leader and through a brutal interrogation, he was gonna spill the guts on why they were really causing terrorism. That depending on the dub (Jewish in Japanese, American in the English Dub), they were hired by a rogue Japanese politician who was being paid by a shady group, to allow them to use Tokyo as a dumping ground. He hired the Red May as a distraction, funded the Special Security Force that was tasked to stop them and used The Hunters kill anyone that would spill their guts. The chief of the Special Security Force deduces that Lucifer must have been brainwashed to comply and while there is dialogue from her that suggest it, there are a lot of moments that not only contradict it or outright call bullshit. For starters, during the times when Lucifer personally tortures those she deems a threat, she derives a sick enjoyment from it, especially when she by her own admission rapes minds. When she does stick to her claims, the tone literally suggests that she's not brainwashed, but rather lying to themselves. Normally when a character gets brainwashed there was at least some kind of break or some kind of moment, where they regain themselves, even pleading those nearby for help. Yet Lucifer never once broke, no matter how much punishment she takes from Angel, Raiden, the cops and The Hunters, whom turned against her. Not even at the moment of her death. Could be an error, but weird regardless.

So what are the moments you find weird, random and nonsensical even by anime standards? Let me know.

For as long as humans have been alive, we've strive for happiness, but always end up succumbing to fear in one way or another. In fact, it's actually what's defined our entire civilization as it evolved and grew.

When we started out during cave times, the only fears we had, were fear of starving and fear of not being warm enough. With Loneliness not even being a factor in our lives because many of us at first kept to ourselves. Then someone in a few caves down, came up with the idea that companionship is the key to life. But in order to convince the others, he made them fear dying alone. Then people started inventing things, that started to change that life. Springing up two fears. One being those that feared the change and the other being those who accept the change, but fear they can't keep up with it. A fear that in many facets, has caught up to even the most modern of men and women generation per generation. Then someone else decided "People shouldn't live or eat for free. So let's introduce a system, that allows us to make sure all the land and livestock belongs to a few people/companies. That way we can profit off those who fear dying homeless. Muhahahaha. The Earth is plentiful but I want more of it."

The Economy in general, being one of the worst modern fears, because it defines our right to exist. Fear of not having enough to pay rent. Fear of not having enough to pay for food. Fear of not even having to pay for something that should be free in the fucking first place, the very water we drink and bathe in. However despite being the worst modern fear, it's not the worst fear.

Nor is fear of dying in general let alone dying alone.

No, the worst fear imaginable is the fear of the unknown. The uncertainties of where we come from, who we really are, why we are really here. Questions that have continued to elude us, despite the top minds we have and the many arguing religions this question created in it's wake.

It's the fear you feel when you feel you're gonna die, because you don't know what happens after. You could go to Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, Valhalla or you could be ashes in an urn somewhere collecting dust or a body that continues to rot into nothingness. Never existing at all after.

It's the fear you feel when you finish an exam, because you don't know if you pass of fail.

It's the very fear you feel when you start questioning yourselves and what others have told you. Not knowing who's judgment you trust.

Many people deny all these fears, thinking it makes them look tough. That admitting to fear and vulnerability, is a sign of weakness. But much like Anger, suppressing that fear can make it come out in other ways. Each more damaging than the last.

Me, I'm the opposite. I've always been afraid. Afraid that the next day of my life, may be my last. Afraid that I'll never get far in my career despite the critical success I've been given. Afraid I'd look like a failure in front of my fans and my loved ones. Yet I at least have the guts to admit many of my fears. Can you all say the same?

It takes a strong person to face fear, but a stronger person to admit they're afraid.

So I ask all of you, in all sense of honesty, for any reason whatsoever, no matter how mundane or important it feels, this one simple question and I want you to answer honestly.

Are you afraid?