All our lives, whether it was right or wrong, fair or unfair, black or white, red or blue, down or up, left or right, Heaven or Hell, Good or Evil, Love or Hate, the one thing they all have in common is that they are all aspects of life and they all come down to two distinctive answers.

YES or NO

However, no matter how we try to rationalize life, whether it's some kind of advanced science or some kind of unexplainable magic. The one thing we cannot decide is whether or not it's all one extreme or another. People either argue until they are blue in the mouth or they just shrug and move on with their life based on what they believe or other aspects of their life. Religion, Politics, Morality, all important subjects, all in different fields on what it takes to be a human being, but the one thing they have in common is they are all constructed by humans and are in constant argument on where humans should go in life.

For example religion, Christianity believes that Jesus is the Son of God, Judaism doesn't, but what they both have in common is save for different interpretations, is that they believe God is real and the Old Testament happened. That just simplifies the Abrahamics, but at the same time it could apply to anything from the oldest religions such as Paganism, to the pseudo religions based on Sci-Fi freaks like George Lucas, Gene Roddenberry and L. Ron Hubbard.

In Politics, there is Left Wing and Right Wing and depending on the country and laws, one side dominates the other or both sometimes pool their resources together. What they have in common both Good and Bad and believe me, they both have their fair share of dirty laundry, is that they are going by what they believe humanity should evolve into. Be it thoughts and feelings. Case in point, Republicans have often been both positively and negatively associated with ways of making money, Hell Ronald Reagan even once made a law that if you're gonna succeed in business in California, you have to be somewhat a corrupt asshole. Considering the scandals in L.A. and Hollywood alone and the money both made and lost as a result of them, that doesn't surprise me.

Which brings me to Morality. Morality should be the most simplest thing on the planet, but at the same time life is so complicated, it's hard to be considered 100 percent moral or immoral, because not everyone sees what you see and knows the full story. Take me for example, I don't give into mob mentality because all that did was cause more trouble than it's worth, when the best way in my opinion is to try to hear each side of the story and see where you stand with each other on that. Then decide whether or not the person is still worth talking to or not. That's simple, but due to clashing moralities it's not. Not to sound gross, but I'll go this far to say it just to prove a point. One of the hot button topics is Pedophilia. Now I can say I hate pedos until I'm blue in the mouth and you can choose to believe whether or not I'm telling the truth, because by your perspective of my actions, either way, you believe it to be one thing or another. However, due to my hatred of Pedos, part of how I was able to determine at least in my own opinion who is and who isn't was based on actions rather than words, based on the disgusting shit I witnessed since my childhood. It's why the Jes thing was so clear at least to me and others that think he's innocent. Others can believe what they want about him and I'm through giving a damn convincing them otherwise as I don't value their opinions for validation based on their actions. Case in point, ThisJoe, comes across as a pedo to me, due to his targets for bullying, due to my thinking he's older than he let's on and due to how many fucked up thing's he's made in art as well as the fucked up things he and his so-called friends are into. To me, that is an Orgy of Evidence, but to those that fail to understand or outright disbelieve me, they don't even see it, because they don't see what I see. But if you think that's sickening, here's a worse thing. Some countries have no law or moral against the subject. Hell some sick freaks would sell their house just to get a plane ticket too said countries, just to do it. And unless these people are in a position where they can go near children, there is no way to determine if they are or not. Words can only go so far.

Now you're probably wondering at this point of this very long fucking essay, what is the point of what I am saying. Well I'll summarize. To put it plainly, we are not supposed to just focus on life's "Yes" and "No". We are meant to focus on life's "Maybe" as well.

The word "Maybe", is one of the most underrated answers in the history of this world. It's mysterious, it's suspenseful, it's exciting and it's terrifying. Why? Because things could go either way. Rather than be this or that, it can be this and that.

That uncertainty is the key to surviving this world and learning from it. And the weirdest thing is that it's the one word all sides of life have in common.

For example, maybe I'll become a successful musician, maybe not. Maybe I'll find other ways of getting rich, maybe not. Maybe I'll find ways of helping people whether I have to pay for it or not. Maybe you'll believe the words I am typing right now, maybe not. Maybe I'll take your words or part of your words into consideration should they apply to my life or the life of people I know, maybe not.

But the one thing I am certain on, is I am still alive, things are getting good for me, they may not last, but I'm able to tank the losses better than I have before with some exception. If people believe me good, that means I got more friends. If people don't, that's better, I'll either value them as friends in other aspects we have in common and if we don't, I cut you off one way or another.

Long story short, I am now 110% Percent able to go through life one way or another to the point where I'm undecided where I may go next. Maybe I'll keep going with my music and maybe not. Maybe I'll stay on Newgrounds or leave. Maybe I'll help others deserving of help or I'll just sleep in for the day. But before I even remotely do anything I would like to put three simple life lessons that each person can follow in any walk of life whether I like it or not.

1. To get the answers you're looking for, one must ask the right questions.
2. Don't be afraid to try new things.
3. Embrace the mystery.

Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.....maybe.

A follow up to this:

I figured out the main problem with Life

Over the years I was wondering why even after all I found out, that no one was moving forward. Then I realized with that article that this was one of the reasons why. However this lead me into an even deeper reason behind this. For context, when I was 18, I used to joke that 30 was considered the middle age for 18 year olds. In that while others took getting to at least 45 to 50 would have it worse, but it would be similar circumstances. Then I realized today, that joke became a reality.

For a glimpse of my life, part of why I have no shame in talking about even the darker aspects of my life to the generations above and below me, is because I found a balance between being childish and being grown up. It allowed me to be the medium between generations, because I knew what it was like to be a kid and it helped me learn more from the older generations because as a growing adult I start seeing things more from their perspective. The only thing I offered them in return aside from the usual help and company is to offer my POV of how I experience life no matter how messed up it got or how unbelievably good it got. A lot of people in my own circle have been deep down doing the same thing as well as those that have opposed me. We either seek solace from the older generation or we try to teach the younger generation not to make the same stupid mistakes we did. It's why it takes me a while to think before acting and judging because it reflects of aspects of either my life or those I know good and bad in said generation or a generation above and below me. Then it hit me.

A lot of us both my generation and the generations above and below me have reached a point in their lives where they don't know what to do in life. They seek out teachers or they teach others. No different than what I was doing. Then I realized whether you're a child, a teen, an adult or even a senior, we all have our own versions.....of a mid life crisis.

Now a lot of people, myself included would think, "Nah, that's for old people, we don't have that." Well congratulations you are wrong and so was I. Hell I'm just recovering from mine faster because I realized what it was. I never thought I'd live to be 30 and the next 3 years were a struggle trying to find my purpose in life. Once I realized what it was though, I was able to find ways, not just to move on, but help those left behind on the matter. The symptoms are what follows:

1. Insomnia
2. Difficulty Concentrating.
3. Nostalgia
4. Reckless Behaviour
5. Irritability

Then of course on top of that, the classic 5 Stages of Grief.

We all went through it, in every stage of our lives. Some of us grew up too fast, even with more to learn and tried to move forward. Others either cherry-picked or romanticized parts of the stories the older generations told us, tried to do better than them but screwed up one way or another. It's why both Racism and Anti-racism is still around, because the older generations projected their struggles on each side of the board onto those in their younger generation. Either they realized what damage they did and try to reign it in before it's too late, or worse, they encourage them to succeed where they failed, re-opening old wounds and making us all start from scratch again. It was never our fight. It was never our war. We were drafted against our wills and those whom aren't sorry for it, should suffer the consequences, not us. Me, I'm sorry for everything I done that was so wrong in my generation and my part in projecting any bullshit onto the younger crowd, while taking the older crowd for granted.

It's a hard thing to say sorry about, but I am. That being said, I'm fed up with it and I choose not to fight it anymore. I don't know how I'll move on without the shackles of my past, but at the same time I hope wherever I go is much better.

Until then I suggest you all look deep within yourselves and find out if anything, there's something wrong with you. If you can find it, then you can save yourself and those around you.

Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.

This came to me today when I was interacting with someone close to me. This person told me, that much of why they fall back into old habits is that they don't know what to do with their life. A pain I know all too well. When you get right down to it, we're just here. Whether we came here from some divine deity or some lucky miracle of science, where we come from is always gonna be one of life's mysteries no matter what we believe. We can only see a small glimpse of it, but it's just enough to motivate us into what we want or need to do.

However the biggest mystery, something that has always trumped even the most spiritual and logical people is the ultimate questions:

1. What are we?
2. Why are we here?
3. What is our purpose?

Me, it took me 27 years to realize my own purpose, but it wasn't easy. I went by what those in and out of my circle tell me, based on their views in life and when I think I got it figured out, they tell me I'm doing it wrong. Then I do things my way, based on my own beliefs and views of the world and I still get the same response, that I'm still doing it wrong. So I was basically damned if I do and damned if I don't.

But then I figured it out. In terms of living life, we need to balance our wants and needs as well as the wants and needs of those we care about. Those we shouldn't care about fuck them. Be yourself, but at the same time, allow those in your own circles to be themselves, even if it's shit you don't agree with. That's what we are, we think free and we're allow that freedom to guide us to where we want in world life. But that's only scratching the surface.

In terms of why we are here, that's a question you have to both answer yourself and receive guidance from those that know you closely. Friends, family, lovers, you name it. Although many dismiss it as cliché talk, there is a reason why they view you as special. They watched you grow up, they helped raise you and shape you to the person you wanted to be for your sake and theirs and if they're true companions, no matter what they disagree with, they stick with you no matter what. That's why you're here, they kept you alive. Like the saying goes "It takes a village to raise a child."

In terms of what our purpose is. This one was tricky for me, but it can be divided into three follow up questions:

1. What can you do?
2. Are you able to help yourself and others?
3. Will whatever you do in life make you happy?

If you can answer these questions, you found your purpose. I have some of my answers:

1. What can I do? I am book smart, street smart, a spiritual guide, a musician, an author and an all around crazy yet good man. And I try to apply that to all aspects of my life both personal and professional.
2. Am I able to help myself and others? I'm able to survive long enough to help others, but if there's no one in need of help, it helps me take the time to help myself better.
3. Will whatever I do in life make me happy? Well so far things I've been doing so far have made me happier. Made me worry less about the woes of the world and allowed me to worry about myself more and those in my circle. The more things get ok, the happier I get.

And that's the point. Everything else simply falls into place, once you figure that out.

Should you be able to answer that you only have one question you can answer:

What can you do with your life?

Until then, take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.

Ok I managed to figure a few things out in life that may sound farfetched, but hear me out.

First off. In terms of love. Among most things, partners want time with their partners, whether it's time alone and time among friends. They want to value the time they have with each other while they're still alive.

Second in terms of life, keep moving forward, because if you don't you'll be stuck where you are or worse go backwards. Case in point certain people I've been feuding with started like they were fighting like adults, then in personality, they regressed to High School in terms of bully tactics, but once I was able to ignore them long enough, not only do their insults and remarks not bother me. But they went from High School level, to Grade School. Repeating the same shit I heard thrown at me in Grade School. At that point I now knew they were no longer worth my time and energy because they were regressing and trying to take as many people with them. Long story short, if people bother you, ignore them while you can, kick their ass if you can, save others if you're able to, but otherwise leave them to rot.

Third, part of the reason why people disagree with each other isn't so much their similarities, but also due to one subtle difference. It was of all things The Matrix Revolutions that brought this out for me. "We can't see past the choices we don't understand." Part of why I was able to get ahead in some things, but not others, is because I understood certain choices so clear, that I was able to look far into the future and see where they lead to. Whereas others I try to understand the choices and help how I can, but other than that show less interest if it's not worth understanding.

Basically we all have this ability, it's based on what we understand in the world.

Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.

Before Rick Moranis and Frank Oz wowed us with a talking singing plant. This man made the movie that inspired it and jumpstarted Jack Nicholson's career. Before Jason Statham took over the role as Frankenstein, this man made sure David Carridine did it first, while pairing him off against a pre-Rocky Sylvester Stallone. Before Black Scorpion was the name of an obscure superhero franchise, this man made a movie about giant scorpions of the same name, then produced this one. That man is Roger Corman.

The B Movie King. Writer, Producer, Director, Actor, you name it he's done it. When he wasn't making B movies in the 60s, he was furthering other up and coming film star's careers one job at a time. This man worked with the likes of Ron Howard, Francis Ford Coppola, Jonathan Demme, Martin Scorsese, Joe Dante and James Cameron just to name a few. He's even cameoed in many movies himself including Silence of The Lambs. This guy for the past decades had his hand in every form of media old and new.

However, this legend both in the A-List and B-List alike has tragically passed away May 9th 2024 at age 98.

I first came across Corman's work, when I first watched the Frank Oz version of the Little Shop of Horrors. A horror musical comedy involving a clumsy flowershop worker, cultivating a man-eating plant in hopes to gain fame and fortune. Little did I know at the time, it was a remake. Of a film so infamous you can literally watch it for free:

While I like the musical, I love this movie better, because they do make the most out of it. The set is obviously fake, but they make up for it in the acting and the dark comedy. That was just a mere taste of Corman's work.

My personal favourite is Death Race 2000:

Unlike the Statham version which involved an elimination race for freedom, this one was much more brutal. A dystopian future where the only good entertainment is a trans continental race running men, women and children alike for points as they reach the finish line. And that was Corman producing a movie.

However, B movies weren't his only racket. He also used his rep and money to start a lot of other projects such as comics, a haven for independent filmmakers as well as even making fun of himself in movies like Scream 3. This guy was basically Hollywood's answer to Tom Fulp.

Still at 2 years away from a century, almost making it to Norman Lear's age, he had a good run, made a shit load of money and died like a king. May he rest in peace.

I won't go into too much detail, about what I went through to get proof of this, but let's just say it was so overwhelming I took my meds once I cooled down from it. For context, I found love, said love took me by surprise many times, that allowed us to get closer together and so far, this love has done nothing but go above and beyond to make sure I was ok, let alone finding me attractive enough to do the things she wants to do to me.

Yesterday, I spent half the day with someone very special to me, this person, much like myself went through a lot of hell since they were a kid, something I could both sympathize and empathize with and I tried my hardest to help this person out, no matter what we made out of the relationship. We shared a bond I can only describe as very spiritual. So spiritual, that it brought something out in me I never knew I had. I became more confident, stronger and more determined not to give up on my life. We didn't do anything too far, but let's just say with the way this person tried their very best to comfort me, after months of we went through together and separately, that it seemed to pay off for the both of us.

In terms of my view on the link of love, sex and spirituality, I believe that all are connected together in one way or another. Most people view sex alone as a rite of passage, one losing their virginity, would be considered a baptism to them. Others like myself, view it as so-so. That for pleasure it's good, but for love it's way better. I was raised by hippies, so needless to say I am a firm believer in free love so long as it's legal. But it wasn't until yesterday I found out how spiritual it was. Now bear in mind, with the way I talk to people, people assumed the worst from me no matter what. They assumed I was some kind of creep or incel. The fact of the matter it was, I can break my celibacy if I want to, but at the same time I don't choose to break it lightly. I feel if I'm gonna go at the very least far as sex, let alone romance, it has to be someone that clicks with me. But much of it was due to the fact that I was raised by a single mother whom had more guy friends than girl friends, yet the girlfriends as well as her, gave me things to look out for regarding women in general. Now this does not make me an expert on women, as I am a man and there are a few things about Women that even I don't know or understand about. However, it's made me aware of some of the nasty traits some can carry. In the case of my town, the women here, can be just as nasty and cruel as the men and considering how many cruel men I've confronted over the years, that says a lot.

As for what this has to do with spirituality, most of the women I was raised around were wiccans and other forms of natural witchcraft, those whom don't even need a Book of Shadows to cast spells. So needless to say, it was easy to say that the person I fell in love with, is also part of that craft in her own way. Normally that would scare a man away, but me, I thought it was endearing. Even tried to encourage it more so that she to rely on the usual stuff that she does to get by. Let's just say she took that advice too well. I won't say what happened, but the result was an energy I never knew I could felt. One so overwhelming that I couldn't even look at my enemies with a straight face anymore until I was able to settle down. Yet, it was so good that it unlocked a few things about me. Making me beyond 100% cured. Whatever she did, she somehow fixed me. And I am happy just for that, whether it works out or not.

Because it showed me that love is a powerful thing, so powerful I was overwhelmed by it and that it does exist regardless what people say otherwise.

If you people have found love one way or another, never give up on it. Even if it doesn't work out the experience is worth it.

Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.

While I won't show exactly what I'm intending to do, I basically found a way to solve some problems in my personal life, but at the same time using my professional life as part of it. CIEIRMusic is above all else a subsidiary of CIEIR or Could it Exist In Real-Life. An old Blogger blog of mine designed to do defictionalization on many fictional mediums from Movies, to TV shows, to Comics and To video games. And while I've mostly been doing reviews my own way, I have so far managed to accomplish that aspect thanks to my health drink. That said, I was also looking for ways of making extra money on the side. Be it part time jobs or simply helping people get what they need and them simply giving me extra change. Now I can survive without money so long as I got my priorities straight and plenty of food to eat and above all else things to do. But even I need help every now and then and people in my corner have helped me in many ways. Including but not limited to giving me small, but effective amounts of money for me to use in my day to day life. But once I reached 99.99% of my personal problems. I was at a point where I was able to run these errands Pro-Bono, no charge whatsoever, because these people shown me enough respect that they earned any favour from me, for free. It was part of why I got into many confrontations, I was weeding out those whom either wouldn't agree with the idea or try to stop me from seeing it through. Once I knew where I stood with people inspite of their own personal problems, good and bad alike, I knew exactly what the problem is.

As most people have often seen or said in their lives, no one pays us enough for the bullshit we have to go through just to survive tomorrow. Whether it's poverty, drama or something as simple as carrying groceries, people need more help with things that are too much for them to handle sometimes. But after 27 years of studying the ups and downs of humanity in the most fucked up town in the Greater Toronto Area, I managed to find an answer to the people's problems, regardless of what walk of life they come from. Now while I mostly had Scarborough and places all over Ontario to go by, it was enough for me to map out all the problems and when it gets down to it, it has to do with both love and money.

The love one shares when they help someone even if is a few bucks to get by, but the amount of bucks one needs just to survive and come up with better plans. It's been like that my whole life and while it was good for what I needed, I felt like I shouldn't be the only one that should do that and earn it like that. So starting with someone very close as a first employee/future boss of mine, I was able to start up a company that trains more people in a walk of life very few realize is the cornerstones of all success: Gophers.

For those whom don't know, Gopher is a work slang for assistant. A play on "Go for this. Go for that." But the idea is that it's a job that requires simple favours for a few bucks. Mundane favours like getting your client/boss a cup of coffee or things like that. Now this person, much like myself, had to sink very low to find themselves. Has even inspired me to do this, based on watching them do their fair share of good deeds, be it pro-bono and for money and has literally passed the tests to become my first employee, which is a contract sign away.

The idea is that I basically created a job/job training/boss training program all into one package. I wrote a contract, a questionnaire and a code of ethics. Which are the three things you need to start any business you want. On top of the job or project you're advertising.

In my case, I'm starting with not an hourly wage, but a small amount of money per favour. Say $5 CAD, which doesn't seem much at first, but there's a method to my madness. Each favour can take as long as it takes as long as you have the means to do it and complete the job to the best of your ability. So if say you knew someone whom wanted you to cook, clean, watch your pets, guard your home and even protect you, 1 favour each would equal to about a solid $50. If the business grows the money grows, it allows people to work both over and under each other and allows them to be their own boss. I did the first pieces of it and I am willing to share them with anyone interested. Even give them a text copy so they can edit the rates, the code and the questionnaire to fit in their wants and needs. Basically the idea is that people need tools to learn work skills and this tool has taken me 27 years to figure out and make it understandable for those whom want to make some money and much like my Health Potion, I'm giving this for free. It will allow others to find their path in life and how they can make their money doing what they love.

DM me asap if you wish to have a copy or know exactly what this entails.

Until then, take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.

In terms of overall personal problems I am 99.99% cured. 0.01 Percent to go. Now on the surface that doesn't mean much literally a penny. But in terms of my life it means while small, I still got a lot of shit to work through before I am exactly at 100 percent.

But I thought I'd give some context.

When I first started out in terms of personal problems I was 75% cured, enough to survive and last until things get better. When I first moved to my new place it went from %75 to 80%, because a lot of issues such as budget were a big problem, I had to learn how to survive without money, as long as there was food in the fridge and the rent was paid. It became 85% when I started getting confident enough to confront my problems head on while at the same time, slowly but surely find balance in other aspects of my life. When I found love, it became a solid 90% which would allow me to slightly breeze through enough life to get better, but finding said love ended up filling me with enough positive energy that could choose to go higher and lower. Even if things didn't work out, which to be honest...it's complicated, but at the same time it's at a point where one can work through it. Becoming less complicated make or break. By that I mean the person I did fall in love with, caused such a positive impact on me that no matter the issues we look out for each other as true friends. So even when things got rocky, because I was getting better, it became 95%. Then when I sought therapy, looking for issues that were holding me back as well as trying to find the root of my issues and getting treated for it, it became 97%. Then when I figured out my purpose in life and where everyone Good and Bad stood with me and vice versa, (Which was pretty fucking hard, considering even the good people in my life had shown traits of what I hated about the bad.) I became a solid 98% slowly getting to 98.5%. Allowing me to breeze through life and make time to sort out what would have been considered minor issues once my majors were out of the way. Then today, after figuring out a few secrets of my past, both good and bad, following clues that were left for me since I was a kid, but was too young to understand them, it became a solid 99%. Now at this point, even those in my circle do not believe I would solve 100% and to some extent they're right. Nobody's perfect and even then what works for them, doesn't always work for others, due to both communication barrier and conflict of superiority. (For context, everyone wants to do everything their way even if it steps on other people's way, both intentional and unintentional. And fights often happen, even among friends because they think their way is the ONLY right way.)

Once I was able to find a way to help people, without quite stepping on their toes, it became 99.5%. Then here's where things get messed up. Over the years, I realized that a lot of stupid mistakes could have been avoided if I simply did the following:

1. Asked, albeit nicely. Worst I'd get is a "No." and move on from here.
2. Listened more. If not through words, then body language and other clues.
3. Put more effort in my part, but not too much due to mutual overreliance. Simply find the right balance.

Once I figured that out.....I made it to 99.99%. Now, in theory, if I was able to solve all my personal problems, to the point where even the worst of them is considered Tuesday to me. Then I would be in terms of putting my mind to things, relatively unstoppable. However, at this point I have reached the mental health equivalent of critical mass.

Now after hearing how it works from me, you're probably wondering "What is the 0.01% you need to deal with." Well it can mean a variety of things. Things that need to be maintained regarding the rest of the 99.99%. Things that have been left unresolved, but not enough to affect your overall life. Or in my case, unanswered questions, such as:

1. Could things go wrong and can I recover from this?
2. Could things be improved or are they fine the way they are?
3. Most importantly. Even if I solve all my problems, then what?

The last one is the scariest, because you don't know what happens next. However, because you ran out of things to do, that need resolving it's also a relief because it means less weight on your shoulders either way. That said even with everything you could possibly want, there is boredom and underappreciation. Some people are even willing to risk whatever wealth they have, just to have some excitement in their lives. Hell, Elon Musk, risked his own fortune, both on ideas even he didn't think would work or attending charity fights. Mainly because he already has everything else and like most rich folks got bored easily.

So basically on top of solving my problem, I've been thinking of fun things to do, be it by myself and other people. And while financially I did find some semblance of balance, even when I get flat broke, I do find it doesn't hurt to find a way to kill boredom and maybe profit off them.

Hell, part of why I started making music, on top of my love of it, was out of sheer boredom and a need to make a mark on the world whether I become famous and infamous. Money was the last thing on my mind until people started buying it. But I got desperate, greedy and even lashed out on people when I didn't think I seen progress.

However, with my mind more clearer, I have been able to think about a few things. The stuff that's happened to me, the stuff I did to others in retaliation and the hurt it caused mutual acquaintances that had trouble choosing whom to believe or side with regardless of whom was right or wrong. It was shitty behavior and while I could care less about my enemies on here, my true friends and fans I do owe and apology to.

I am very sorry if my behavior caused the following:

1. Made my behaviour suspicious to even the closest of friends and fans.
2. Made my attitude alienate some people even if they still give me praise.
3. Took it out on those I shouldn't have. For that I am truly sorry.

Having said that, while it may seem ulterior I am gonna ask properly this time and worst I'm get is "No."

To my fans, friends and even complete strangers. I beseech thee in my time of evolution, to request the aid of my fellow human being, if it doesn't trouble you.

Or in plain English: Will you please help me, if it's not too much trouble, to support my music in ways other than critical and emotional support? If not, that's fine, I at least tried to ask nicely and I'm moving on from there. If yes, I advertised all my work over the past years, from my Bandcamp to my Kofi and I don't ask for much. Just enough to get me started on one of my many endeavors.

Having said that, take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more. I thank you all for at least witnessing my journey at this point and I'll never forget you for it. I love you all.

Life's complicated. We have to watch what we do, watch what we say and most importantly watch for predictability so that we can know what will happen next, but at the same time appreciate the surprises in life that help us move forward, while spotting the same patterns we see every day with the people we interact with. Some people like to go their own way, because it allows themselves to be better. At this point I am 98.5% cured of my personal problems in life there are still ways to go to test life out, but at the same time I'm liking the results so far. For those that stuck with me, I owe you my deepest gratitude, to those that didn't like me very much, fuck you, but at the same time I get it. To those that have hate in their hearts and try to drag others with you into your bullshit as your poor excuse of being alone, fuck you, be honest with yourself before you remotely try to judge me and seek some professional help. It did wonders for me. There is still shit I need to figure out but at the same time, I have figured out so much that I managed to get ahead. If life was a School, I am close to graduating to the next grade. If life was a job at this point I should be Prime Minister, but I am not gonna go through that shit. If life was like a box of chocolates, I want to know sometimes what I'm gonna get.

Point being is I figured out enough about life so far, it's surprisingly easy, read all the good and bad shit in this site to further understand but other than that I am cool with you all and I hope you're cool to me in your own ways.

Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.

This is the last revelation, but the most important one. Something that should have been said a long time ago.

This was something that has happened for a long time, way before even many of us were even born.

For the longest time, myself included, each individual on this planet, whether we lived in wealth or poverty, often have reasons to fight each other. Some justified, some not. However what we fail to realize then and there, is that much of the things they were fighting against one another for, were based on the simplest, yet difficult reason that it boggles my mind that no one even thought of it or at the very least thought it was either too easy or too hard to do.

Now I want you to pay attention, the reason will shock and surprise you, but essentially you are gonna want to hear this. You listening? Turn the volume way up if you are. Ok. You ready? Here we go....ahem:

SIT DOWN AND TALK!!!

Sounds simple right? Stop right there. Now a lot of things that people fight about regardless of how bad it gets and how much damage is wrought is often because of poor communication. Now this is nothing new. There have been many many moments in real life and in the media, where they try to hammer the point in. However the rare thing is that is often overlook isn't so much what to do. It's how to do it.

Most people fail to understand that to better communicate with each other, you have to understand the other person's POV. I myself am an empath, so it's easy for me to assume the emotional point of view of others. I am able to both tell the pain they feel and whom they hurt just from being in the same room with them. But even then, it's not reliable all the time. However, if one's intuition or gut feeling is a little on the fritz it doesn't mean it's wrong. It simply means if you want to know for sure what's upsetting the other party, it wouldn't kill you to ask.

However, here's the thing. Some people much like myself, often sometimes feel too right about a situation. We assume too much, sometimes get it right, but other times things happen beyond our control, it makes us feel stupid for even thinking it could go another way. And if the battle is tense, neither side wouldn't consider it even if they really wanted to.

In my case, among many problems, I run into the major one. While I try to understand the other's POV, sometimes people don't care to hear my POV, based on either judging my past actions or the way they feel about me for various reasons. Had people gotten to know me fully, they'd realize that differences aside, there are things too similar to each other. So similar, that some people can be so full of themselves and neither fail to see the irony or hypocrisy in general. I myself am a hypocrite in some respects. I try to be peaceful, but like many others, I fly into a rage. I berate people for lying, but I myself have lied in the past. Hell, I hate bullies and yet I became one of them when I fought back too much. However the main difference between me and others like me who become self aware of their hypocrisy and sins over time, as well as the rest of the world is, once we admit that we have a problem, it becomes somewhat more easier to fix. The one's that don't, just keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect a different result. The true definition of Insanity.

Yet, if we can acknowledge our faults and put aside our petty differences, you can find that working together is more productive and progressive to the world, than fighting each other all the time.

Most people don't stop fighting because of some warped sense of pride thinking that if they don't keep going the other side is gonna win. But eventually the fight continues on for years to the point where you two still hate each other, but forgotten exactly what you were fighting about. Even if walking away sometimes is the better solution.

Others don't because they think fighting is the only thing they are good for and drag others into the cycle of violence.

But the main reason is that on the off chance it does work it makes everything else they went through pointless making them feel useless in the end. On top of admitting hypocrisy.

Me I have no qualms admitting my hypocrisy, but I try to at the very least curb certain behaviours that have held me back. And the thing that made it uneasy is that even among my closest friends and family, they exhibit the behaviour as though they are above it, when they are really not without sin. They hate bullies, but bully me, causing me to bully them back. If I stand up to them no matter how just I feel, whether I say little or go too far, then suddenly I'm the bad guy. Even on the meds that part made me mad. Why should I behave when they don't? Why should I listen to them talk when they don't listen to me sometimes? What did I do that was so wrong that it felt like even those that truly loved me, hated me? Then it turns out it was because they failed to understand me, just as I failed to understand them. Rather than the blame be on one person, regardless of how just we feel, we were both in the wrong, only I was the only one with the courage to call the other out on said hypocrisy. Hell I once yelled at an old lady on a scooter, because she thought me standing in the sidewalk in front of a passing stroller, was not gentleman like. Yet she allows her male friends, whom she considers the standards of gentleman, to slut shame and insult a young woman, who's only crime was wanting to dance to their music. Needless to say I snapped and to this day, that person only thinks I was some asshole mean to her for no reason. When I had plenty reason. Not just hypocrisy, not just because for all her talk about what it means to be a gentleman, she never even lifted a finger or raised a voice to tell them to leave her alone, but when I confronted her about it, more than once, she referred to the woman as a "Whore". Despite claiming to like said woman before. I seen some two-faced shit in my time but when it comes from someone close doing the same to someone close, despite that person not being perfect themselves, I draw the line. But it's not just them. It's everyone.

Every single person whom since they been old enough to talk coherently has done to their perceived enemies what has been done to them. The problem is, that some are such narcissists that they never see it even if it's right in front of them. Yet if it's not them doing it, suddenly they're perfect...fuck you.

No one's perfect, no one's above or below anyone, it's not about race, sex, class, religion, politics or even something as petty as someone egging your house. This is gonna come as a shock to you, but you're all equally assholes. I'm at least honest about it myself and I've been trying to make up for it since. How many of you actually tried even with your rep and life on the line?

I'm an asshole and rather than regret it, I'm becoming proud of it. I'm a loser, because winners get cocky. I'm a jerk because kindness is considered a weakness. I'm a pushover because it's against the law to fight back. I'm a moron, because intelligence is considered abnormal. I hate because I try and fail to find love. And if you all don't like what I have to say, if you all don't think I'm right, if you think you're the exception, well newsflash asshole you're not.

I'm me, you're you. We're both assholes, either shape up or ship out. Deal with it. You all think you know whom I am, well I'll tell you. I'm a 33 year old Canadian Austistic Psychopath, with a history of baggage, a dysfunctional but loving family and a high school diploma. Whom struggles to make it to the entertainment business, share's his struggles with the world to a certain degree, is proud of his failures as much as his accomplishments, because he's still alive and trying to realize the purpose of his life as a man that witnessed a lot of fucked up shit over the years and still keeps going in spite of the turmoil he's been put through. Why? Because I'm stubborn, I learn from my mistakes, I make new ones and I try to find better solutions to the same damn problems, without once taking a break save to rest, smoke and watch TV.

I am proud of who I am faults and all. Can you say the same? Either take the time to understand each other or cut each other out of your lives. Stop wasting your time, put the phone down and stay in fucking school.

Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.