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CIEIRMusic
Amateur Filmmaker, Author, Cartoonist, Musician and defictionalizer (Finding truth in fiction), mostly here to promote my music to indie developers that need it.

S.T. Musician @CIEIRMusic

Age 33, Male

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High School Graduate/Self Taug

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CIEIRMusic's News

Posted by CIEIRMusic - March 5th, 2024


Picking Up Where This Left Off:


It has been a few days since S.T. Musician and Deadly Demoness became an item and while things were rocky around the building, they made it work one way or another. Unfortunately an incident happened to him that traumatized him. A local hooker whom was on everything including fentanyl was sneaking around the hallways. Trying to find a way to break into people's homes and steal their stuff, she spots him, grabs him but he runs to the nearest security guard. Scaring her off. He is now currently in Light Harmony's Pad, smoking a joint while shaking.


Light: Oh my God S.T. what happened.

S.T.: Well, let's just say this crazy bitch was everything they warned about me regarding my girl. She grabbed me courting style, I threatened her to get her to let go and she wouldn't stop following me. If not for security, I would have been raped, robbed or worse. It was like running into Divide again.

Harmony: Oh my God, Shane. I am so sorry. I know we dealt with people like this before with bravery and strong will, but I never seen you this scared before.

S.T.: I'm just glad she didn't see it. Either she'd be like other girls and assume I was leaving her for...that or she'd probably kill her and risk going to jail again.

Light: I'm sure she'll understand given the circumstances she went through.

Harmony: Ya, I mean she probably went through it herself from a guy. Talk to her next chance you get.


S.T. Leaves home and finds The Deadly Demoness again. He tries to be happy for her, but she knows something happened to him. They go to his house and she spent most of it, changing her outfit.


S.T.: She was everything they warned me about you. And I was more worried of what you'd think if you saw that than most of the things that worried me that day. The fucked up part about this, is it isn't the first time. Divide is one thing, but I was almost a victim to a lot of shit.

Winter: Look, things like this happen all the time, I don't bat an eye on it myself. Don't get me wrong, I understand why this shocks you, but you gotta snap out of it. There are many reasons why I chose you among most guys, I won't get into them now as I am very busy and in a hurry, but I wouldn't let that go because some fetty head bitch tries to take you from me.

S.T.: You know what's really fucked up about this day? Is that what you're saying makes sense. The messed up part is, I needed someone to give me that verbal swift kick in the ass in the right direction.


He slouches a bit as if everything just overwhelmed him. She picks him up and takes him to his computer. She puts some music on and they dance. Now this isn't the first time they danced together. To relieve tension despite their mutual promise of taking it slow, as well as to simply have a good time in general. But this time they needed it. The daylight came and they were both going out the door.


Winter: Look just promise me one thing, in case we don't see each other for a while.

S.T.: Ya, what is it.

Winter: Be you. That's all I ask. Just be you.

S.T.: I'll try my best, but I get the feeling this isn't over yet.


They go outside and race across the intersection to their usual hangout. He was gonna follow her, but he heard a voice.


Winter: No matter what happens, don't follow me. You can look, but don't follow me.


This caused him to freeze and turn the other direction. A day or so goes by and he looks for her. She leaves clues to her wherabouts and two people are watching her out the window. One a member of Wannabe Dark Divide and the other, what looked like a local scumbag that had no stake in it. Said scumbag tried to tell him, she was out there, but he was on his telepathic honor not to follow her. So he went to his room to clean it up more in hopes she'd simply visit him. The next day comes and the Boss "Father" comes up to him.


Boss "Father": Winter's in jail. She broke a few car windows and she got arrested yesterday. I thought you should know.


S.T. was shocked, flabbergasted. She was having a good day the last time she seen him and now this happened. However as he was walking upstairs to run an errand for an old friend, he pieced it together.


S.T.: Those guys were watching out the window. They were watching her get busted. I could have saved her then, but she told me not to. She knew she was gonna get in trouble and she didn't want me to save her, but it was those guys that manipulated the law I hold so sacred, to hurt her. They hated her. They hated me. They hated seeing us both together.


After he runs his errand he runs around all over town and in the building screaming like he never screamed before.


S.T. Musicians: YOU RAT GOOF BASTARDS!!!!


While they piped back with their usual nonsense some of them were shocked, scared, even petrified by how loud S.T. could scream. Wannabe Dark was even leaning on a wall trying to drown it out. Once he calmed he was just gonna go to his apartment and cool off, but he sees one of their associates look at him funny.


S.T.: What the fuck are you looking at!? You're all rat bastards and goofs!!


He takes the stairs and goes up, only to find him and his friend, whom lives on the same floor come up on the elevator.


S.T.: You fucking following me now?!


The man corners him to a wall and beats his face in. Now the scary thing about S.T. is, that whenever he flies of into a rage, even the strongest of punches don't hurt him. They don't make him cry, they don't make him beg. All they do is just make him mad.


S.T.: Don't do it. *punch* Don't you fucking do it. *Punch* I'm warning you.


However while he struggled to lessen the impact, S.T. didn't fight back. On top of not wanting to break his oath, he was in clear view of security cameras and they only stopped once Light Harmony, whom lives a few doors down from him, got out to watch. He got up, bruised, bleeding, but otherwise ok. He goes up to them as the other two leave.


S.T.: How does it look.

Light: Let's just say if not for the blood, people would think you had a stroke.

Harmony: It's ok S.T. It should heal up in a couple of days.

S.T.: Now I really need a smoke.


S.T. has his smoke and then goes downstairs confronting the rest of Wannabe Dark Divide. Showing them a full view of his hurt face and still being mad.


S.T.: You see this? THIS IS A LOVE TAP COMPARED TO WHAT I GO THROUGH EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE!!! You want to finish this, let's finish this. All of you kill me right here and now or you leave me the fuck alone. Let's do it. Two of you jumped me I want four more. The odds are in your favour. COME ON!!!


Wannabe Dark: We only want one of two things from you. Leave our building or jump off it.

S.T.: I thought so. You're nothing but cowards. High School Dropouts that never grew up. You wanna know why people hate you so much, I'll give you a hint it's not your race as much as you want it to be. It's because you destroy everything you touch. You are nothing but drunk, drugged, child raping pieces of shit and I already warned you about threatening a member of the order. I just found out recently she is one too. I'm just a mere boy, they expect me to solve my problems on my own, but you do not want to know what they do to those that threatened their daughters, let alone what you did to them.


S.T. Leaves and goes to a program next door. An art based program that allows people to therapeutically draw or write any form of art that allows them to express themselves. So S.T. wrote a few posters. One marking what they did to The Deadly Demoness. One marking what they did to him. One calling out the apathetic citizens for not helping out those that really needed it. And for good measure, one for calling a certain politician wannabe for being responsible for it all. He leaves it be and they are furious.


Wannabe Dark: How does he know all this shit? Did she talk? Was he and those freak friends of his spying on us? Is he some kind of fucking rat or undercover?

Wannabe Divide: It doesn't matter, it's our words against him. If he engages us, we'll just do to him like we do to the others in our way. Label them and let the public turn against them.


S.T. and Light Harmony are out front having a smoke when they start going nuts over this. Only two people pass us by. One that doesn't live in the building and one that doesn't. The one that doesn't passes by smugly.


WDD Goon #1: So where is this order you're talking about?

S.T.: You'll find out soon especially after they already know what you did to their daughter.

WDD Goon #1: Say one more word, I will knock you the fuck out, I will fucking kill you. You already got beat up before, you can't fight for shit.

S.T.: At least I didn't fuck a 15 year old you sick bastard!!!


The man as he walked stopped, but made a slight head twitch, before walking off.

Light: I don't think he knew.

Harmony: Plus if it's anything like them, he'll just turn it on you. Speaking of which incoming.


The one that lived there walks up to S.T. specifically.


WDD Goon #2: You only do this to black people. You racist pedophile pig.


He walks off.


S.T.: It's funny, they called me all this shit before and yet when I caught them doing it I'm suddenly the doubled down one.

Light: You know what's gonna happen, he's gonna spread it among his friends and make your life and ours a living Hell.

Harmony: Let him. The fact that they reacted to this showed you're getting to them.

S.T.: And knowing that specific douchebag, since I haven't seen him since school, he's just gonna keep at it.


The very next day.


WDD Goon #2: I'm gonna tell the cops that you're a racist pig.

S.T.: So all that street boasting and you're nothing but a rat too. Why don't we tell them together, their car is right behind you.

WDD Goon #2: Fuck you and stay away from me.

S.T.: Fine, I'll just walk to the station.


S.T. does exactly that. Part of why the building has had many problems regarding the police matter was that the building is 4 blocks away from the local police station. It's one thing to call the cops, it's another when they can hear your crimes from 4 blocks away. However S.T. had an ulterior motive. He was looking for the Deadly Demoness.


Desk Officer: Can I help you sir?

S.T.: Yes, I heard Winter got arrested and was wondering if she was in the cell. She left her court papers, last time we talked and I was gonna give them back to her.


He hands the officer the papers and waits.


Desk Officer: Sorry sir, she's not in the cell or any jail cell in Fair City for that matter.

S.T.: Understood. One other thing, how do you go about making an anonymous tip. I have reason to believe she was trafficked.

Desk Officer: There's an email out there, just report it and be done with it.


S.T. Goes outside and emails them. Only tipping them off to the leader and the politician wannabe. Then he walks back up to his building while Light Harmony are standing there with Wannabe Dark. He goes up to him and says the following.


S.T.: Now you can call me a rat.


Before walking off.


Wannabe Dark: What did he mean by that?

Light Harmony: Oh I think you know.

Wannabe Dark: You don't think he went to the cops did you? He wasn't bullshitting?

Light: When S.T. Musician makes a threat or a promise, he sees to it until the end. And he has every reason to hate you for what you did. You tried to turn an old friend against him, you tried to corrupt us, you attacked him and his family and now you took away the one person, who was trying to convince him to leave this violent life.

Harmony: So go ahead. Label him a goof, label him a child rapist, label him a racist, label him a rat. Label him all the things we know you did, because at this point regardless of how he reacts to it, you're on his permanent shit list now and he won't stop until you are gone.

Light Harmony: And the scariest part is, when he realizes that he nor us have to do anything anymore. He already made the call and they're coming for you. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe a few months or even years from now. In the meantime, why don't you worry about it. Be afraid WD. Be very afraid.


They leave and tend to S.T. at their pad.

S.T.: She's not arrested by police. Either someone else took her or she fled to the streets. She's an illusionist, so making them think she got arrested would be so her.

Light: What about those other cars that pass us by, the ones that look like cop cars that aren't quite.

Harmony: Ya those cars are officers equipped to handle people of her disorders should they fly off the handle. They arrest her and put her in a mental ward somewhere. A hospital you could probably visit her in.

S.T.: Oh no. That's even worse. Oh fuck no.

Light: What's wrong?

S.T.: If she's where I think she is, I fear the worst already. It's the hospital my mother died in. It's the only hospital close by.

Harmony: There's more, I did a background check on her real father. He's no ordinary gangster. He's a member of the other order. The one your order used to feud with.

S.T.: Are you fucking kidding me?!! He's been around this long and he's not once checked up on his daughter? Great. I was worried that I was gonna get a shotgun blast by him, but I really need to find this guy. He needs to know what's up. It's gonna take a lot of courage, but I'm going to that hospital.

Light Harmony: Good Luck S.T.


To be continued..........


Tags:

1

Posted by CIEIRMusic - March 4th, 2024


Picking Up Where This Left Off:


It has been a few days since S.T. Musician took responsibility for the wellbeing of The Deadly Demoness. As a result of the life being more exposed certain people began to take notice including the Boss that spotted them together. S.T. and Light Harmony were mulling things over.


S.T.: I tell you, while I'm happy I feel like things are trying to split us up. Not us two, but outside forces. That freak claimed to be her father, I had a feeling it was BS, but I had to play along to see the extent of it. I think if I can find her real family, that it may help her get out of this life. I did ask her if she wanted to try the potion and while she is interested, even she thinks she's not ready for it.

Harmony: Well if she's interested in it, then that's a start. You can't help anyone that doesn't want help.

Light: So how was the progress with her?

S.T.: Well for starters I had to make some parts of my room more presentable, you know me and my tendency to keep my room a mess. I also try to be nice to her and value the limited privacy my apartment provides, yet she does things that surprise me. For example. I asked her to use the bathroom as a changing room. I had plenty of clothes, given to me by some of the people I helped, so anything that didn't fit me I gave to her. I wanted to let her know that even if we like each other, it doesn't mean we have to see anything we don't want to yet. However, here's where it gets strange. Rather than use the bathroom, she changes in front of me. I don't look at first, but she looks at me as though I should look.

Harmony: Well it could be more than just romantic and sexual attraction. Maybe she feels so safe around you, she could be naked and you wouldn't do anything. Still, too much information S.T., but I see your point.

Light: Still I get the feeling, because you're not like most men, that you looked at her for more than her assets.

S.T.: Actually yes. I noticed something about her, that despite being an adult and is very smart, she has the personality of a child. One time I had these yogurt drinks from a popular brand and when she saw one, she sang, squeed and drank the thing like she just walked through a desert. I think I might have triggered a positive childhood memory.

Harmony: Makes sense, but what does that have to do with her clothes being off?

S.T.: Well on top of noticing how.....very beautiful she was, I noticed some slightly disturbing thing. Her body was covered in bruises and scars, both drug use and signs of abuse. It means that some of her customers haven't been treating her good.

Light: That does explain why she hates being called a dog, they probably called her that during the job and it stuck with her through trauma.

Harmony: So you have a beautiful Escort with a heart of gold pining for you, with the wisdom of an adult, a heart of a child and signs that she's being abused. You don't think.....oh god no. Shane, say it isn't so.

S.T.: I'm afraid it is, she was trafficked. Possibly kidnapped at an early age, groomed and sold to the streets. And the worst part is, I know who abused her. One time she was walking past me and I saw many of the men including members of the Wannabe Dark Divide surrounding her like vultures. She looks at me, with the mother of all depressed looks. It was like she was saying to me "This is how my life usually is. Please. Help me." Now there is nothing more than I want to do, than to grab these guys and castrate each and every one of them with a pair of pliers. However, I'd be breaking my oath of pacifism. Not only that, but even if it does escalate into a battle, even I can't protect her all the time.

Light: Ya it's a real dilemma. What can you do?

S.T.: The same thing I did for you two. I'm gonna help her. In her case, she has among most things a self confidence issue. It's a bit of a wonky one. For context. As both an escort and a villainess, she has the confidence to flirt and fight her way out of any given situations. Yet when actual love is on her mind, her self esteem lowers. For example, she'd get any guy to bed her for money, but when she really wants someone she likes, she's shy, she barely says things and it isn't until her love is at her peak that she just goes for it. That kiss she gave me in November took a lot of courage. Not to mention in terms of her line of work, she is a submissive. Which is both good and bad. Good because if I did tell her something she'd listen. However, unfortunately it's not all natural. Part of it is the result of her abuse and I feel bad if I have to tell her something because I'd contribute to it in away.

Harmony: Plus this is all very new to you, so you had to tip toe your way through for a while. So if I'm guessing right, you're gonna give her some self confidence boosts. You saved her soul, but you had to save her will.

S.T.: Ya, because I did notice something. While she didn't really mean anything by it in my case. Every expression of affection she's given me, had a hint of aggression in it. Which means, that deep down, she's dominant. She wants to pin me down and get it over with one day, even when we agree to take it slow, but at the same time, this is the first time she's found someone she genuinely wants everything from. It's weird, I'm in love with her, but I can't help but analyze it.

Light: So basically you're gonna boost her self esteem and see if it will give her more courage to stand up for herself and fight back, when you can'?

S.T.: Exactly, my days as a hero may be seldom now, but my days as a teacher are far from over. Not only that, but she may have things to teach me that I don't know about.

Light Harmony: Good luck.


The days go by and after a few invitations of dinner and dancing S.T. and Winter settle down.


S.T.: First thing's first. I understand that people have been hassling you and while I can't defend you all the time, I know you are strongwilled and very tough, I once seen you stick your hand in a boiling pot of water, just to reach a cooked hot dog, with no mark whatsoever. However without skill, strength and durability don't mean much. But I know how pragmatic you are, so all I have to do is teach you SING. Solar Plexus, Instep, Nose, Groin.

Winter: That will come in handy thanks.


Another day comes and she ends up sleeping on his bed the second time. Resuming the usual drill, he kept vigil and went out periodically. However the day seemed to get tiring for S.T. as well. He went out for a smoke and Light Harmony joined him.

S.T.: I don't know how much I can wait for her to wake on this one, it's been nearly 15 hours and now I'm getting tired. But there's only one bed. For a small woman, she takes up a lot of it.

Harmony: Hehe. Get used to that. Still why don't you just lay next to her like you guys did when you made out?

S.T.: It's not that I can't consider that, but picture this. You're laying next to a woman, she wakes up, wondering what you're doing beside her and screams. I am not gonna get roped into that. Still it is my bed and I do need to sleep, maybe I can find a spot where we won't be too close.

Light: Good luck with that.


He goes back upstairs. He notices the plushie he gave her, was across the room. Implying she threw it at one point, be it awake or while she was sleeping. He gets tired as hell and lays on a spot that is somehow away from her, yet he could still see her face to face. Her eyes were still closed at first. But then they open, he's scared at first, but when he sees her smile, he sighs a little.


S.T.: Did you have a good sleep?

Winter: The best, but you look uncomfortable, here.


She shifts her body, so that he can lay beside her, but he still keeps his distance. She then reaches her hand out to his side. He initially thought she simply wanted to hold his hand, like many times before. But once his hand reaches hers, she yanks him close to her.

S.T.: Eep!!


She then proceeds to wrap her arms and legs around his body. It was then and there he realized, she didn't want to sleep alone. They have some dinner and he sends her on her way. He goes out to Light Harmony's pad and lights up a big joint.


Light: S.T.? What happened?

Harmony: You look like you escaped the jaws of a hungry predator.

S.T.: She didn't want to sleep alone. She literally dragged me closer to her in bed as soon as she woke up. I was shocked, aroused, but there was something else. It felt.....right. It felt like I was meant to have her around me. I looked up what she did. It's known as a protective lover's embrace. It felt more than just an affectionate sexual gesture. It felt like she silently vowed to protect me then and there. Before I used to be ok with sleeping alone, so long as I was able to make it through the next day. Now, after that, I no longer wish to sleep alone anymore. It's....it's.....

Light: She's madly in love with you. Oh my God.

Harmony: Ok I admit it, I do feel jealous. However, the fact that she was shielding you with her body, while showing you were well loved and protective. It shows that this woman would do anything for you. We all heard the saying "If he jumped off a bridge, would you do it?" and most of it is routed in stupidity. However, this one would honestly say "Yes" to that question. The scary part was, you didn't even try hard to get it. You just well, you were you.

S.T.: I know right, she loves me for who I am, not what I can give her. I don't care how long it takes, I'm gonna keep seeing her, find her family and try to find others that will help me get those Wannabes off her back. But until then, I'm gonna try something. See, I know she can function well in the real world, but I have to help her get out there more. So I'm gonna do a trial run. Use these buildings programs to help her in many ways. Including but not limited to Tomorrow's breakfast. I also realized something about our "Friends" part of why they got so into Dark Divide, was because they were High School Dropouts that never went anywhere and still cling on to the bad side of High School life. Drinking, Drugs, Loud Music, Women, Fights. You name it. All the stuff we tried to grow out of, they wanted to keep and they'd destroy all who disagree. To put it plainly. We set out to fight crooks and we got School Bullies.

Harmony: That is pathetic. Plus we hate bullies. Unless they become crooks, they're a waste of time and energy. We should just ignore them.

Light: Easier said than done, they have a way of simply getting to people. Even S.T. let loose a couple of times, despite knowing better.

S.T.: Ya short of hurting them, I basically flip out on them the more I find out what they did. It's like everything I know, just pisses me off about them. Still, she's helping me by getting me to focus on better things. Not just her, but I've been rethinking a lot of my life and I want to simply move forward and be done with it.

Harmony: Ya, we been fighting this battle for a long time.


The trial run becomes successful so far. Friday, S.T. and Winter were able to enjoy breakfast. Even some of the staff was welcoming save for some dirty looks from a certain member that's been causing trouble. But it was otherwise ok.


Then lunch came. S.T. was waiting for it to go to the Take-Out hours. Even get extra for her, because neither one of them wanted to be in there. But she was hungry and he went in. The lunch room was packed and he started to realize, it was packed in a way no different than that of High School Cliques. As if the drop out analogy could not be more on the nose. They eat together quietly, but notice they got stares from the Wannabe Dark Divide Table. They were stares of shock, disbelief and rage. But the couple ignored them and continued with their lunch. With S.T. taking care of the garbage plates. Meanwhile Wannabe Dark Divide deliberate on what happened.


Wannabe Dark: Ok....would anyone mind telling me what the fuck that was? Those two were terrible by themselves and now they're eating lunch together. How are we supposed to corrupt this place when their little fling is spoiling my appetite? He's been at war with us for months and despite everything we try to do to break him, he keeps going. Now he has our property with him. The Deadly Demoness was ours by right, she's not a human being, she's a dog that needs to be slapped into submission. So why the fuck is she so happy with that piece of shit, Superhero Wannabe Loser?

Wannabe Divide: Maybe she's in love with him................HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHEHEHE!!! As if, she's probably manipulating him for money or something. Still, there is another problem. She could be telling him about us and vice versa.

Wannabe Dark: Ya, if either one went to the cops or other places, we'd be screwed. We have to separate them.

Wannabe Divide: It's fine. I have a plan......


Meanwhile at Light Harmony's Pad.


S.T.: Ya, they saw us. It was gonna happen eventually.

Harmony: They're small potatoes, but I suggest you be careful. Both of you individually pissed them off so many times, they'll do anything to be rid of you. And what is it that happens to superheroes, when the bad guys can't hurt them?

Light: They go after your loved ones.

S.T.: I know. I just hope I have enough time to help her, before the shit hits the fan.

Their watches beep.

S.T.: Oh shit. The computer got back to us on the last name. She's no ordinary escort. She's the Daughter of a very powerful criminal. Someone so powerful, even we couldn't touch them and we went after Putin on occasion. Someone I've heard of before a long time ago. Long story short, I basically dated, saved the life of and am trying to rehabilitate a criminal princess.

Harmony: Oh God. This is getting to be way more intense.

Light: Not that I give criminals credit, but it could be a good thing. I seen enough crime dramas to know that even if it's a cop or just some person, they save a boss' daughter and said boss is a friend for life.

S.T.: True, but at the same time I made out with his daughter so the reward I'd get is most likely a shotgun to the face.

Harmony: That is also true.

S.T.: I can take on some of the worst this city has to offer, without hesitation. Yet angry parents scare me. Regardless of walk of life they are the most dangerous animals known to Earth, come in many forms and all have the same mindset. "Protect their offspring at all costs." What the hell have I done?

Harmony: Don't sweat it, just focus on helping her for now. Deal with the angry dad later.

Light: Ya, besides if he's so powerful how come his daughter got sold to the streets?

S.T.: There's something else though, it's a bit repressed, but I am starting to figure out where I met her before. It was a long time ago, when we were very young.


To be continued......


S.T.: This is CIEIR Music with a very special announcement. In North America as well as all over the world, there has been a growing number of human trafficking victims. Many of them children. If you see anyone that has signs of Human Trafficking, call your local law enforcement and if you have it, contact a Support Centre for Human Trafficking. In the case of mine it's The Canadian Centre To End Human Trafficking.

Light Harmony: Save their lives. You have the power.


Tags:

1

Posted by CIEIRMusic - March 3rd, 2024


Picking Up Where This Left Off:


S.T. Musician and The Deadly Demoness, has been seeing each other for a few days. They tested each other on many things. Including but not limited to mutually agreeing to take things slow. Yet despite that, she would always express her wants and needs through ways that can't be described, not because they are disturbing, but others would find it strange. Such as expressing affection through borderline sexual gestures. However, while they have had happy moods. It wasn't without trouble. S.T. and Light Harmony are walking back to the building when they see a special security van with someone in there. It was Deadly Demoness. Needless to say they were shocked. She was barely clothed and in the backseat in handcuffs.


S.T.: What is going on here?

Security Guard #1: Do you know her?

S.T.: Ya she's my friend. What happened?

Security Guard #1: She won't tell us. She doesn't even look like she remember it, but she's been charged with Mischief.

S.T.: Is there any way I can speak to her?

Security Guard #1: No sir. She's in custody.

S.T.: Can she at least have a cigarette?

Deadly Demoness: Ya I should at least have that. Please!

Security Guard #1: Can't do that.

S.T.: This is bullshit, I'll be right back.


S.T. and Light Harmony Storm back to his house.

S.T.: She was having a good day. What happened?

Light: I don't know I'm just as shocked as you are.

Harmony: There's nothing we can do now. If she gets taken she won't even be allowed near the building.

S.T.: The hell there isn't.


S.T. Goes to his computer.


S.T.: I know the security company, I just have to send this and wait.

Light: A formal complaint? That never usually works.

Harmony: If you're gonna do this, you're gonna have to be honest.


The complaint is typed up and he just sits out there waiting. He takes out his phone.


S.T.: If they take her, she deserves a proper send off.


He plays his music player on the phone blasting every 80s love song he could come up with, including but not limited to Bryan Adams' Run To You. Needless to say the Security was shocked especially having an email regarding the complaint. The neighbours and thugs complaining, but he didn't care. After playing the songs, they let her out. They gave him her court papers.


Security Guard #1: Ok, she's your responsibility. Just keep her away from the building until we leave, she doesn't like us very much.

S.T.: Understood.


They leave together and hang out at a closed coffee shop. Light Harmony was with them.

Light: Wow I can't believe that worked.

Harmony: Ya who would have thought pulling a John Cusack would actually pay off.

S.T.: Ya I didn't know I had that in me. Look. I'm gonna take her to my place. She looks very tired and she needs sleep. Winter? Are you ready to go back? I think they're gone.

Winter: Ok.

S.T. Takes off his jacket and put it over her shoulders and they walked back inside. Light Harmony looks shocked.

Harmony: Did he seriously fucking do that?

Light: The old jacket trick. One of the oldest romantic gestures in the book. Who knows what they're gonna do up there.


S.T. invites her over and after giving her some food and a smoke she lays down and falls asleep. He watches her. Captivated by her beauty, but also concerned for her health. As an addict, she may choke in her sleep, so he had to guard her. Yet something was itching in his brain. Like he's supposed to leave her to sleep alone and value her privacy. So he gives her a stuffed toy so she wouldn't sleep alone he goes outside for a smoke of his own and Light Harmony meets him.


Light: So what happened.

S.T.: Turns out one of her bosses mistresses attacked her in a jealous rage, she snapped and broke their stuff in retaliation. It was self defense but she owes $5000 in damages.

Harmony: She was getting punished for fighting back? That's not fair. I mean ya I am wary of her too, but I know what it's like. When we were urchins, men have tried to take advantage of me and it's always their girls or other respective partner that blame me for it. It's why I was vulnerable to explosive rages. You remember.

Light: Ya, they're still patching up Divide after what you did to her.

S.T.: There's more. She suffers from Schizophrenia and Down Syndrome. The former severely untreated on top of her drug use. She was basically a ticking time bomb.

Harmony: If she's so dangerously disturbed, then why are you helping her?

S.T.: I know what it's like to have a disorder that while it had it's benefits, also had a lot of baggage with it. Top that with being raised in this city while it was way bad and I was a ticking time bomb. It's why a Superhero was a great opportunity. I could take it out on them. But at the same time, it wasn't healthy. Granted these fucks deserve what we gave them, but at the same time it made me cocky and it made me addicted to the fight. She's the same way. She can get treatment, she can get off the drugs. All she needs is to get a better life. One I've struggled with myself. Plus I get the feeling that despite her rank in DD, she wasn't there by choice. I'm gonna check on her periodically to make sure she's well rested. But I will be back here.

Harmony: You're brave for doing this.

Light: It's what heroism is all about. We fight evil, but we make the time to make sure the innocent is safe.


S.T. Goes back periodically and she's still sleeping. He plays some relaxing music before leaving so she could get a better sleep.


S.T.: She must have really messed herself up badly. She's been sleeping for almost 20 hours now.

Light: She must have not had a proper sleep when she was out there.

S.T.: It gets stranger. I checked the wounds on her feet. They're healing faster than the normal average. She's got other powers.

Harmony: Amazing. The more we get to know her, the more we figure her out. You were right it is a mystery.

S.T.: I'll go up there one more time. I get the feeling she's gonna wake up.


S.T. goes upstairs and sees Winter waking up.


S.T.: Well it looks like you went from Cinderella to Sleeping Beauty. Are you ok?

Winter: Ya, I'm fine. But I'm very hungry.


S.T. cooks up some food for her and they eat.


S.T.: Now look, I know you like doing your own thing and aside from certain things, I've always respected you as an individual. However, that being said, I worry something like this may happen again. I won't force you out of what you're doing, but I will find ways to help you out. If you need a place to at least crash, then my home is always welcome.

Winter: That's fine. I was gonna ask you if there were other ways of making money other than my work. I figured even someone like yourself would be resourceful enough to show me.

S.T.: Well let's see. You're a skilled dancer, you're great with costumes and you have the most fun doing that. Ever consider doing paid cosplay?

Winter: Well ya, but I had no reason to until now. What do they usually pay.

S.T.: About $250 000. And that's just for showing up. It also allows you a window to express your own ideas. You can dress as your favourite character or you can make one up on the fly. I was considering going myself, just to see if it works out.

Winter: I'll consider it. I have to go though.


Like before he escorts her out the door. However he runs into someone they both know, her boss. Who looks at us two in shock and disbelief but moves on. She goes with him, but S.T. has a feeling she's ok for now. He goes out and meets Light Harmony.


Light: He saw you two?

S.T.: Ya, but it's ok. I get the feeling he's not gonna mess with her ever again. Because he knows who I am.

Harmony: Be careful anyways.

S.T.: I do know one thing. She hates her current life and wants out. So I'm gonna try my best. I may even consider the potion.

Light: Why haven't you considered it now? I mean it worked on others before.

S.T.: True, but her addiction is so severe I'm afraid the detox would put her into shock. Last thing I want to do is cause her more pain even if she can take it.

Harmony: That is a true concern. One person I knew on the streets, quit cold turkey regarding heroin and it nearly killed the poor boy with withdrawals.

S.T.: I'll have to do it around the time she's been off it for at least a few days. That way it would be less painful. There's something else though. She told me her last name and much like her face. It sounded very familiar.


To be continued........


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Posted by CIEIRMusic - March 1st, 2024


For starters, just to say it. I've been seeking therapy for the past couple of days. Both to help with the severity of my Autism, as well as various other disorders including, but not limited to, anxiety, depression, explosive temper and suicidal thoughts. For the past 26 years I've been able to keep a lid on it, even letting things go here, made it less stressful, but even then I was at the point where things were getting worse for me and I realized I couldn't fight this battle alone. That being said, rest assured I am ok, because a lot of good news.


For context, I mentioned before I'm Canadian, specifically in the Greater Toronto Area. At one point a friend of mine showed me a part of Downtown Toronto, that I never once explored that I know of. It was called The PATH. The PATH is an underground walkway originally built in 1900, at The Eaton Centre back when it was called Eaton's Department Store. It was meant as a means for Torontonians, both Residential and Business, to walk the streets of Toronto, without ever worrying about getting caught in the elements. Be it rain storms or snow storms. To this day the Path is now literally almost everywhere in Toronto and still being built. Because it became so popular it basically became the equivalent to an Underground City of stuff, from fast food restaurants to other departments located right under the respective buildings.


I explored Downtown on occasion, including but not limited to seeing Evil Dead The Musical, on my 17th birthday....So much fake blood.


Anywho, while many old timers knew a great deal about The PATH, I never even heard of it until a few days ago. Once I did, the explorer in me, whom took his cues from Link, Red, Ness and other popular exploring Nintendo Characters, travelled there the first chance I got. I managed to make it to City Hall and The CN Tower within the span of 3 hours. If I was lost I'd talk to security or anyone that's walked The PATH longer than I have. Needless to say I was amazed. It was like I walked into a whole different world. I have yet to explore the rest of it, but I managed to cover a lot of ground in that travel.


While I was downtown, I was recommended the day before that I go to a specific therapy group. One that catered to Native Culture, so needless to say I went. When I went there, not only was I able to sign up right away, but they even gave me the tools necessary to help me apply for status. Even giving me a smudging kit for my troubles....minus the Cedar. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it as the therapy was the higher priority. But essentially, I am on the steps of getting better and truth be told, walking The PATH helped me a lot.


So if you live in Toronto or are visiting from afar, I recommend that you take a tour on The PATH. It may just be a fun place to tour or like myself, a life changing experience.


Take care stay safe, stay tuned for more.


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3

Posted by CIEIRMusic - February 22nd, 2024


This can be taken in many ways both religious and non-religious, but over the past couple of days, as well as reflecting on the years of bullshit, I was able to find the secret of living life. The funny irony is that it kinda coincides with a certain Avatar Video on Chakra Unlocking:


However like many philosophies it applies to all aspects of life. Hell when I read this book:

Eastern Body Western Mind


It made even more sense. For context there are 7 Chakras in total. Each one representing an important aspect of life as well as how your body functions and they start from the ground up.

  1. Muladhara: The Root Chakra, Element Earth, located at the base of the Spine. It is the symbol of survival, but is often blocked by fear.
  2. Svadhisthana: The Sacral Chakra, Element Water, located at the reproductive regions. It is the symbol of pleasure, but it is often blocked by guilt.
  3. Manipura: The Solar Plexus Chakra, Element Fire, located in the navel and stomach region. It is the symbol of Will, but it is often blocked by shame.
  4. Anhata: The Heart Chakra, Element Air, located in the heart. It is the symbol of Love, but blocked by grief.
  5. Vishuddha: The Throat Chakra, Element Ether. It is the symbol of truth, but is blocked by lies.
  6. Anja: The Third Eye Chakra, Element Light. It is the symbol of insight, but blocked by illusion.
  7. Sahasrara: The Crown Chakra, Beyond the Elements. It represents spiritual connection, but is blocked by Earthly Attachments.


In my case in the order I just put down;

  1. I was afraid that if people knew who I was on and offline, that I'd be shunned simply because I'm an outcast that tries to fit in. Once I learned to let that shit go, I was able to count on those that were there for my survival and upbringing.
  2. I was guilty because I never known the pleasures of the flesh and would fail to live up to the standards of those that did. Only to find out that even the early braggers either did something way dirty or at the very least, screwed up their lives one way or another because they couldn't keep it in their pants.
  3. I was ashamed that I wasn't brave enough to stand up for myself or others I cared about, but once I found my way of doing it, I fight with every fiber of my being.
  4. I had so much grief in my heart that I didn't think even those closest to me really loved me, nor would I find love. Yet once I did, things just started to make sense. Love is an energy even if the ones you love are lost, they come back in different ways.
  5. I lied to myself mostly because I was in denial of the person I was. There were certain elements of me, that I didn't like, but had to learn to accept them. Once I realized the truth of myself, I could care less what others thought of me. I'm me, you're you.
  6. A lot of people deceived me over the years and as a result I saw all of life as an illusion. Only to find out, that they thought the same and tried to indocturne me into their own bullshit. Once I learned to let that aspect go and be more aware of whom I'm with, I was able to see more truths and expose them.
  7. I have a tendency to grow attached to those I befriend, family that I have left as well as other things. Once I learned to let all that shit go, that was how I was able to achieve enlightenment and things just fell into place. It's still a struggle, but I managed to figure some of it out, if not too much.


These were problems that have been plaguing me since the day I was born. I always felt that way even before I lost everything I held dear and continued to feel that way until I found things in my life that started to unlock a little. As a result I somehow managed to gain power I never knew I had and just let myself drift into the air and see where it took me. Going by intuition alone. So basically the secret to living life is in 7 steps.


  1. Acknowledge and let go of all of your fears.
  2. Accept that bad things sometimes happen, even if it's a lot and don't let it get to you.
  3. Never be ashamed of who you are even if others have shamed you.
  4. Don't lose love no matter what.
  5. Sometimes the lies we tell aren't to other people, but to ourselves.
  6. Break all illusion and trust in your intuition.
  7. Let everything go.


Despite how simple it sounds, it's one of the most difficult lessons I had to learn, because it is life in a nutshell. Everyone of us has had our own fears, guilts, shames, griefs, lies, illusions and attachments. Some worse than others, but it's all the same. We have the roots in common even though our trees grow our own ways. However, once you realize exactly what's growing on the trees, you'll be able to bear fruit rather than die of weeds.


Trees take almost a life time to fully grow. So do people.


Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.


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1

Posted by CIEIRMusic - February 20th, 2024


Over the years, I as well as a few individuals of all ages, have often described our struggles as a spiritual war against Good and Evil. Which is hard not to believe because we see an abundance of both every day. Be it something small as say a kid getting a candy from the teacher after a good grade or same kid later getting beat up or even killed by jealous bullies. However while there is Good and Evil, as well as the gray area between many risk just to survive let alone succeed in what life has to offer, that wasn't our war. That wasn't the main thing we were fighting. It was merely a symptom of it.


What causes Good an Evil: Emotion.


Love, Hate, Happiness, Sadness, Bravery and Fear. Among most things.


However while there are many emotions and sub states where it mixes, the two of the strongest extremes are the following:


Love and Hate:


Every action both Good and Bad have often come from those emotions the most. To put it black and white, people do kindness out of love and hurt over hate. However, there's a funny thing about those two, that often end up flip flopping or even merging said extremes. Like for example, let's say hypothetically someone you know is a panhandler and really needs all the money they can get. They don't ask for much, but at the same time those they ask either don't have it and hate they can't help or do have it and love to say they refuse to help. Then you come in when they don't get it and say "I hate when people do that to people." and hand him a quarter, a dollar or whatever you can spare. Did you do that kindness out of love for the panhandler or hate for how he's treated. Did you put yourself in his shoes and do things differently or did you simply want to buy your way into Good Karma. And while you're getting mindblown by what you just say think about it. That's exactly why people are so adverse with helping each other. They want to do it, they love to do it, but they don't know if the kindness returned to them is because they either think they owe or want you to owe them. It mixes and jumbles the meaning of those two emotional extremes and ironically makes Hate even more stronger.


Whereas when someone goes out of their way in their own loving hearts to give something, no strings attached, the first thing people ask is "What's the catch?" We all seen it and heard it in many ways at many times.


Myself, I be kind because it's the right thing to do and it is always out of love. Any rewards I ever gained as the result of it, is the last thing on my mind when I do it and if it happens it happens. If it doesn't and doesn't. The only things I value are life debts and dedications to love. If those were of cash value I'd be so rich, the International Debt would be paid off. It's one of the reasons I stopped caring if no one bought my stuff, no matter how much I advertise. Up until I tried to sell, I was satisfied in knowing that at least some people liked my music. The only reason I even asked for money for it so I could get better resources to make my music even better for more and see if it snowballed from there. If I could set up a concert, I would. If I could find a way to put my music on many radio stations, I'd do that too. If it ended up as part of a score of a hit movie, then I know I went as far as I wanted to.


But a lot of the things I make were out of love for what I could do and the hope that I could do better. I didn't expect to make friends or enemies here. Didn't even expect to be featured on @TheTankTribune, but I appreciated it every time, even if I tried to use it to better advertise my work, because I ended up getting some recognition from Newgrounds itself.

The only reason it bothered me so much that I didn't get so far as to even have my discography bought let alone one track, was because I saw it as a part of my life I hated. The fear of failure, the sadness of not realizing my potential and the hatred of those that tried to control me and make my music something I wasn't. I wanted to make money, but I didn't want to be a sellout because I've had sellouts in my friends and family and it didn't work out for them. Once I was able to let go of that hate, especially after I discovered love in many ways on my own, I was feeling better and caring less about those fears and hatred. It's why I even apologize to my enemies, because despite what they did and believe me they did so much terrible things I literally want to kill them, I wasn't helping matters by letting my own personal hatreds get in the way. So once I realized they weren't worth my time and energy, I simply ignored them. It was easier once I saw that real life people were just as stupid and pathetic as them and it was easy to ignore both sides. I even once did an ugly truth post on reddit, just to see how many of those assholes in real life were online. I used what I used to do, to bait them out and when I found what I was looking for, I destroyed the article. Because if what's keeping them from the truth is nothing but false labels and TLDR, then no one was ready for that. I had to know where I stood both on and offline, before I realized what I was really fighting for.


As it turns out, there are a lot of hate filled people on all sides of the world. Good Guys, Bad Guys and those in the middle just stirring the pot and keeping fights going. I figured this shit out yesterday in my neck of the woods. A certain "friend" of mine was actually playing both sides of a conflict even when both had so much enough of each other, that they didn't want to look at each other. I tried staying out of my side, they tried staying out of their side, but the conflict was still going because we both vented our side to said friend and said friend was using it to benefit his own self interests. In layman's terms, he was trying to make people kill each other so he could take over what was left of the area after. It's gotten so bad I felt the need to warn the other side, but I hate them so much that it's making me hesitate and hope they stumble upon it themselves. Either way, things were more fucked up than I realize.


It made me realize that there are those whom hate life so much that they'd rather cause trouble than fix it. It made me realize certain circumstances in my life, that I've contributed to that bullshit as well. It made me also realize that it's gotten so bad that all levels of government in my city alone seem to be in on it to one extent. There's even a crazy guy wandering around the streets trying to run for mayor of said city, but everyone knows he's a crack smoking, child molesting piece of shit. Yet not one person cares enough about it to confront him or at the very least tip him off to the cops. That guy makes a mockery out of love by spill writing the shape of a heart with either beer, graffiti or if he's as crazy enough to do so as I think he is, his own piss. That is the definition of someone full of hate, mocking love. And the most fucked up thing about it is, that even he's savvy enough to gather enough people stupid enough to vote for him. What the hell?


This is an example of Hatred trying to rule over love, by using what they interpret as love to get the fruits of their hatred. They think abusing and raping women is love. They think doing drugs that can kill you, is loving the freedom of doing drugs. That's not Freedom, that's trading one jail over another. They think the bad part of the city is the best part. And while I appreciate some of the bad for what it's worth, it's not my whole fucking City. Not only that but these guys are hypocrites that would even make organizations like BLM ashamed of them. One of those guys wears a sweater that says "Defund the police" yet despite playing the part of antagonizing authority figures, he rats whomever slights them out to the cops, if their own violent threats don't work. And when that doesn't work, falsely label, knowing it would get said person in trouble whether they ignore it or not. You'd have to have a lot of hate in your heart if you're going against what people think you believe in.


It was then and there I realized that in order to stop this, we need more love. We need more love songs playing on the radio:


More Romance Stories:


And more speeches on the subject a hell of a lot better than mine.


But most importantly, we need to learn to love each other a little more.


Now I won't kid you, as simple as it sounds, it's the most difficult thing to do. But if someone like Feeny from Boy Meets World can say it:


Then it should be easy for others to express it in their own ways. Hold the door for someone who's hands are full with groceries. Offer to carry heavy things for someone on a one-person move. Take your date to the movies and show them a good time. Even just simply check on a friend or family member's wellbeing. That's love. Pure, untainted love, that we have been lacking for almost 100 years.


Prove that Love will win this Godforsaken War in The End.




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Posted by CIEIRMusic - February 15th, 2024


Sometimes and we've all been there, we've often missed major Holidays. I was no exception. If I missed my birthday, we'd simply plan a weekend after for a party. That's life. However, sometimes during those belated days, something magical happens. For starters, the love I found is still staying in contact with me. For context we give each other affectionate nicknames, but today, after so many times of letting her know my name, just so she could look for me better as well as a few other things as we value each other's independence. Then one day she calls me, we wish each other a belated Valentine's Day. And after so many days of getting used to the nicknames, she told me she loved me, while using my real name.


Now when it comes to love, good and bad, much like everything else in my life, I look at it through an analytical perspective. And while that has hindered me in the past, due to insecurities on my part. It has come in handy with this. Our relationship is sort of a twisted romance, but not in the literal sense. Bad things happen around us, individually and separate, but we some how manage to not only make time for each other, but also cross things off in the romantic check list. Bear in mind, I don't see love as a game to be not taken seriously. I do however see it as a fun game, with two players, trying to tick off the usual cliches, but in our own loving way. For example, we've had breakfast dates, dinner dates, lunch dates, but in our own unique way, either, hanging out at a fast food place or doing it at home or wherever she is at the time. Even with the bad stuff happen, we just some how kept going forward. It was like we were strolling through the chaos, because we only cared about each other. She even did the classic of asking me for my number. We're adults and yet our romance is like some kind of 80s style 90s twist teen drama, but in the more fun way. With a little action, horror and some fantasy fairy tale stuff. Now in a lot of these romances, there's often the following tropes:

  1. Parents that either like or hate the couple one way or another.
  2. Undying Romance.
  3. Asking for Numbers.
  4. Affectionate Nicknames.
  5. Talking about going further in the relationship one way or another be it marriage or sex.
  6. Small romantic gestures.
  7. Big romantic gestures.
  8. Couples protecting each other.
  9. Them expressing their love by dropping masks and referring to each other as their true selves.


Me and her, we're both suckers for movies, TV shows, Anime and we both are adults with various disorders and childlike mentalities. We have compatible signs and in my culture she is what is known as a Twin Flame. So needless to say whether we're together or separate from each other, we collectively grow our own separate lives until it's time to help each other out. It's why it got rocky for me, I was enjoying the good side of the Twin Flame stuff, but was unprepared for the separation part. Neither was her, because even when I learned to let her go for a while, she still won't let me go. It's like I got a lasso, that keeps giving slack and she's reeling me in. Hehe. So needless to say, we've basically crossed every one off that list alone, but there is more.


But I ramble on. This was a big example of how a belated Holiday would have some kind of hidden Holiday magic. Before it was just my excuse for making up for missing said Holidays. Now I see it as a way of life.


So if you miss a birthday, buy a present or a card. If you missed Valentine's day. February is the Month of Love, so even if you missed the day you still have 13 days to go to make it up to your love. If you missed the major Holidays, the ones that require you to do those days depending on religious beliefs or lack thereof. Simply pray to your repsective Higher Power in hopes that what you do to make up for it, pays off.


Hell there should be a whole Hallmark section of belated cards.


As usual, stay tuned, stay safe and stay tuned for more.


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3

Posted by CIEIRMusic - February 11th, 2024


Kind of a follow up on this:

The Secret of True Love


Part of what made me discover the secret, was that due to said outside forces, I had to learn to let her go at least for a while. And while it caused me great pain, I was able to make it through. Once I was able to let her go for now, I was also able to let go of a few other issues, including but not limited to the circumstances, regarding my mother's death. After I was able to let things go, after a boat load of crying, I felt something strange yesterday. I felt lighter, I felt like I could loosen up again. I felt happier than I ever been before. It wasn't until then, I was able to find enlightenment.


For those whom are confused. I'm a spiritual person and one of the many things I've been trying to do is unlock my Chakras and heal and balance them. I even went so far as watch an episode of Avatar The Last Airbender to get a crash course on it, because Nickelodeon stuff aside, they did explain it in a way even kids could understand:


Now for context, Aang was able to open all but one. The Crown Chakra. He got confused because a lot of the others encouraged love, but in order to open this one, he must let go of all Earthly attachments, including but not limited to his love interest Katara. So needless to say, Aang did not want to do that. Mainly because he thought letting things go meant gone forever. Something I didn't blame him for. But what his teacher was trying to tell him, is that he wouldn't lose Katara or anything he cared about on said Earth. Letting go is like casting a piece of paper into a river, rivers can go as far as ponds, lakes, oceans, reaching as far around the world as possible, but if what you let go makes it all around the world, it will by it's own choice come back to you, rather than you having to chase it and growing attachments. Let things go and everything falls into place.


Now it sounds easy, but it's not quite. For example for me to let go of the issues regarding my mother's death, I went to my old home, and played this on my phone:

It was a song my mother requested be played at her funeral, but a bitch of a relative of mine who made it all about her chose her favourite songs instead. So out of spite for said bitch and to give my mom a proper send off, I played this. I cried, then I had the resolve to keep going and moving on with my life. Then when I went to visit some good relatives of mine, I started to feel this strange energy. I was happy, more confident with myself and able to live my life more to the fullest. Hell I just woke up from a drunken party and I don't even feel hungover. Because I was able to enjoy it more and the environment was nice enough that I was able to recover and just get on with my stuff.


A lot of people have their own issues, minor and major that equate to Earthly attachments. Grudges, griefs, love that was lost, loss of friends, loss of family members, abuse, you name it. And as bad and horrible as it may get, part of the impact of such negativity is that we have always tried to hold on to it, so we won't forget. However, we hold onto it so much, that rather than it enlighten us, it holds us back.


So I ask, beg or downright demand that you all look deep within yourself. See what you think is holding you back and just let it the fuck go. Just be done with it. Resolve any issues you can, but other than that, fuck everything else.


It's like the old serenity prayer says:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."


You can't change things that don't want to be changed nor things you obviously don't know how to change. All you can do, is try to find a way out of it. Get less involved with the worlds woes unless you plan to join the army or join a humanitarian cause. If you're just gonna sit on your computer or phone to bitch endlessly about it, you'll never be enlightened.


The things you can change can range from righting personal wrongs, making amends and letting go of the baggage that causes you self-doubt. It took me 26 almost 27 years of my 32 soon to be 33 year life, to figure that out. The only reason I'm talking about it now, is to use my experience, so that it doesn't take long for the next person to do it as it really is that simple.


Or as the Narrator from Fight Club would say:

"My Eyes Are Open"


Point being is that, to achieve this state of mind, you must let go of all attachements, even the things you hold so dear in your life good and bad, let them go. It doesn't mean they're gone forever, they might be or they might come back. But when you learn to just let go, you'll become a better person.


Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.


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2

Posted by CIEIRMusic - February 11th, 2024


While I never quite stated it most out loud, because either some don't believe it, some don't think I deserve it and overall it's not everyone's business. I mentioned before I found love. I won't go into too much detail about it, but while things are rocky at this point due to outside forces, as a result of our brief but good relationship, I was able to discover the secret of true love.


For context, whenever someone looks up top 10 Romantic TV Couples. Although new couples tried, I will always state that Gomez and Morticia Addams were the best couple in the history of couples:


While many fans of the show would agree, not a lot would know why. After all, the Addams Family while nice people, are often fucking scary. They equate tortures and beheadings to foreplay. However take away the macabre side for just one moment and list off the things that tick off the romance and marriage lists.


  1. Although they are married, they trust each other and love each other to allow each other to do their own things individually.
  2. Unless it was for the sake of a certain plot, they not once had fights or accusations of extramarital affairs.
  3. Most importantly, while they do value each other's individual space, when they do do things together. Be it going on honeymoons or dumping hot lead on Christmas Carolers, it's a spectacle to behold. Hell in the 90s movies, they basically used auction numbers as a turn on and conceived Pubert Addams in the middle of an auction floor.


In my case, I realized with mine that although we still love each other, we should separate and let us do our own thing. That's where the secret comes in.


Many couples and do not bullshit me, you do this too, often have times where they either go to separate places or go places together. Shopping, dancing, bar hopping, you name it. Some couples, are so insecure with themselves, that whenever they separate even for a few hours, they assume the worst out of each other. "Oh she's at a bar without me, maybe she's fucking some other guy." "My man's at a bachelor party, he's obviously fucking the stripper." Things like that. Now I had the fortunate luxury to know how promiscuous my love was. It didn't bother me, save for the fact that I was worried whomever she was with at the time, would either abuse her or give her an STD. I was the son of a Hippie, I believe in free love and she liked me a hell of a lot more, so it helped. But like any other guy I would have gotten insecure. I mean look at Dante from Clerks, when he found out what his girlfriend at the time Veronica did:


However despite her sexual history, she didn't want that anymore. Veronica wanted Dante and Dante only, but he was so full of himself pining over an ex of his that he didn't care. By the time he realized it, it was already too late. Had I not watch this and Chasing Amy, I probably would have reacted the same way. Hell a lot of members of my family, tried to talk me out of the relationship, simply based on sexual history alone.


Which leads me to my point on the secret. So let's hear it.


Sometimes, even if you're destined soulmates, you have to separate every now and then, to allow your partner and yourself to have individual growth. This could be anything good or bad, but at the same time, the experiences it wrought allow them to grow and expand on their own terms, so that if and when they feel ready to come back together, they won't just know how to take care of themselves, but share the experiences with each other in order to take care of each other.


That is true love. That is what love is all about, it's what it's always been about and I hate to say it, a lot of people even the best of couples, screwed up in that department. Some think love is about one person controlling the other, because only ONE knows best. Others think it's about convenience and material. Some think love is all about sex only. This crap is wrong. For as long as you assume the worst of each other and not have faith your partner is ok on their own sometimes, then there's no point. You honestly don't love each other if you can't even trust or have faith in each other. I've only experienced love for about a few months and yet I get it. A lot of you so called players, never really experienced love, so you don't get it and if you comment here, telling me otherwise. Fuck you, your word means shit to me. Love is all about trusting each other to do their own thing, while at the same time share things together.


And that is why Gomez and Morticia are the best couple. Even if it was for the sake of comedy, Charles Fucking Addams, found the secret to true love, using his love of horror comedy.


And it only took me a few months to get it myself, because I looked past my own insecurities and tried to see things through the perspective of my partner. She even once literally gave me sunglasses to be more on the nose about it. Hehe. Nowadays regardless of how it turns out, I love, trust and have faith that things will be fine whether we're together or not.


Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.


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Posted by CIEIRMusic - February 10th, 2024


First of all I want to wish you all a happy Chinese New Year. Gong Hei Fat Choi. While I am not Chinese myself, I always had a fascination with the Chinese Zodiac, for one reason or another. Such as having family travel to the land in the past as well as my obsession with an actor, who's Zodiac Year cropped up. This is the year of the Dragon and that Actor was named Bruce Lee:


So needless to say that alone resonates with me. In my case though I was born in 1991, The Year of The Goat.


Now I won't exactly say what the revelation, because of a few factors. However while most people have resolutions in every version of New Years, every New Year I celebrate, give me some revelation of my own past. In this case a big one. It was a repressed memory, that came flooding back to me at a brief moment of my despair. A traumatizing event that in my past that became the root of all my tragedies. I won't name names, but the short end of it is, I have a relative that did unspeakable things to people including but not limited to many female children. He also drove my mother and my brother into their deaths. Causing the stress of my mother's cancer and corrupting my brother. One of which someone I knew recently. We couldn't stop him back then, because he was always protected by someone whom used to be a good person, but turned into a piece of shit. That person has been dead for years now so I'm hoping once both sides of the law know what this person did that justice will truly be done. At this point I don't care what happens to me good and bad, because I hope I can at least bring closure to many involved.


Now this revelation came to me on the year my favourite actor was born under, so it's not a coincidence for me. But it's both traumatized me, angered me saddened me, but I felt something else. Relief, liberation and above all else a happiness I can't even begin to describe. It was like the mother of all weights that has been holding me back, has finally lifted.


Now at this point, I don't care what happens in my career here. Whether people buy my music or not, doesn't matter to me. Because I basically achieved a form of enlightenment, that pales in comparison to money and fame. That doesn't mean I'll stop, but it's no longer a priority to me. I now know a major ugly truth and it set me free.


Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.


This is S.T. Musician of CIEIRMusic, for now signing off.


Happy New Year. Hope everyone gets a red envelope with a shitload of money.


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