Well we made it. While I have little hopes to what this new year holds, I do hope you all cherish and celebrate with dignity and to many adults a shitload of weed and booze. My resolution is to keep providing entertainment any way I can.

We been through a lot this past year. Vaccine conflicts, Russia V Ukraine and the death of Queen Elizabeth II.

Yet despite all that we treat each new year as a blessing and a fresh start.

I wish you all a safe, fun and most of all A very Happy New Year.

For those who celebrate Christmas or any special occasion that involves the ritual of gift giving. Some people often have a difficult time finding the best gift for their friends or loved ones. Most of the time some people get so disillusioned by the increase commercialism of the holidays that they either by nothing at all or hand cash or gift cards to see if it's enough for what they want. However there are a select few people whom even if it does contribute to said commercialism that would base on their knowledge of the receiver would come up with the most thoughtful gifts. I am one of those people.

So I thought this year I would give you the tips I use whenever I go Christmas shopping or any other occasion.

1. Find their interests. This is the easiest one. One of the most things people often find either the most boring or interesting about get togethers is the converstation aspect. Which is often covered by the usual topics, life, work, love, money, politics, drama, things like that. However while some may find it boring or cringing, I myself use that to piece together what they may want as a gift. If you're at the house of one of the people on your gift list, that's even better. Be it through pictures, books, or any type of item common around households, it's easier to know what they want based on that. So look around. Find something that could help you.
2. Find out their problems. One of the best gifts you could ever give them is a solution to whatever problem they have be it minor or major. For example if someone is under too much stress and you can afford a spa, give them a gift certificate for that. It shows that you care enough to help people out. And this holiday season, is built on helping each other out.
3. If you can't buy it, build it. Most of the times, the best gifts to give to someone is something that is literally made out of love. If you're good at sculpting or building things, then that'd be your gift to them.

Follow these tips exactly and you will gurantee a great holiday experience.

Have a Merry Christmas, A Happy New Year and Happy Holidays.

Ever noticed that when you're a kid and when you become an adult things always seem different than how you view them as kids? As a kid, things seem so fresh and new even in the worst places you live in and the world is your oyster, but as an adult things look different good or bad. On the good side of things, it makes what you appreciate as a kid even better for reasons only an adult can understand. As an adult some of the things you thought was beautiful, but turned out bad, would hurt you, because you felt like you were lied to in some way.

Myself, I have the luxury of still holding onto that perspective I had as a child while still seeing the world through the eyes of an adult. My inner child yearns for the days when I can just appreciate the beauty of the world around me, while the adult looks at the kid and wonders "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Much like in life, though it can also apply to the media we consume. Books, TV Shows and Especially movies.

In my case, one of my favourite movies growing up as a child is The Nutty Professor:

The 1996 remake of this 1966 comedy classic:

For the summary, it's a modern Jekyll and Hyde Story starring Eddie Murphy whom plays multiple roles, but the most prominent being Sherman Klump. An overweight, chemistry teacher with a quirky family, but zero confidence in himself as a person, due to being made fun of both by his boss and those not close to him. Upon falling in love with Grad Student Carla Purdy, Sherman decides tonight's the night to test out his new formula. A blue chemical that has the ability to turn him from fat to thin. Once the test was successful, he becomes Buddy Love, the suave yet obnoxious thin man whom started out as a cover name, but later developed into a personality of his own who wishes to eliminate Sherman forever.

Now when I first watched the movie as a kid, I thought nothing of it, a quirky sci-fi comedy filled with swearing and fart jokes as seen here:

However watching this movie again as an adult I began to notice a few things. My perspective of the movie had changed.

None so prominent as the prelude to the Fatzilla segment:

For those who haven't seen the movie yet. This takes place after a failed date with Carla Purdy. She took him to a popular club called The Scream. They had a good time at first, but then insult comic, Reggie Warrington played by the very talented Dave Chappelle catches wind of him. He first takes it with good humour, but when the heckling became too much, despite Carla insisting that she enjoyed the date with him, he was too depressed to even accept that he was practically in the first steps of their relationship. Proceeding to binge eat to comfort himself.

Now as a kid while I did see it as kinda sad, I thought it was funny seeing Sherman down that jar of candy like he was drinking beer. Even Eddie must have found some humour in the scene since he couldn't do the Ice Cream part of it without laughing as seen in the outtakes.

However watching it again as an adult, with a better perspective of what he was going through I felt sad. The man was crying real tears and nearly eating himself to death because his confidence was so shattered, it felt like nothing mattered to him more. Made me look at the movie in a whole new way. And while it did make me sad, it made me appreciate the movie more.

That is just an example of how one's perspective can change growing up.

I would like to ask you all, if there was anything you seen both as a kid and as an adult, but viewed them differently in both ways. Let me know.

This one was long overdue, because I wanted to explain things to you in a way that would help you understand.

First of all in terms of my views on comedy. I was born on April Fools Day, so that pretty much sums it up. Either people think I have a great sense of humour or make me an easy target for pranks whether it's lighthearted jabs or mean spirited ridicule.

In terms of my sense of Humour, it varies. Some jokes I make are pretty funny and hilarious. However others are swing and a miss. A problem many comedians share. So to better sum up my views I will break things down.

Favourite Genres:

Slapstick, Classic, Stand-up, Satire and Dark Comedy to name a few are my favourite Genres, but to me they must be done the right way for it to work. The Three Stooges for example, are a great example of Slapstick Comedy. Mainly because the injuries are overshadowed by the sounds made as well as the sounds the stooges themselves Make. Classic Comedy I think still has a place in the modern world because regardless of the content, it reminds us just how old Comedy in general can be. Some people would prefer George Burns over Chris Rock. Stand-Up Comedy is great because I feel it allows the comedians to not only come up with funny antics of their lives but also allow them to vent any anger and frustration they feel about said lives while giving the audience a good laugh. Satire is hit or miss for me because it depends on the context of the satire. Dark Comedy I like because you can take the darkest topics of the world and make it funny if done right.

Views On What's Funny:

When it comes to the Genres Above, most of the time it's the subject matter that gets tricky. A lot of us have our own views on what's funny or not and a lot of us have our own views on what we think the joke is supposed to mean as opposed to the comedian's in general. Before I get into it further, there are three rules of Comedy:

1. Timing. Doing the right joke at the right time is sure to bring a lot of laughs.
2. No Subject is Taboo. Either all are funny or none are funny, however this rule gets abused too much which I will get to later.
3. The most important one. It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Which on top of the second rule can often happen. But I will get to that later.

Now when you get down to it, a lot of comedy movies and shows from the 50s to now have often gotten famous for pushing the envelope and surprising their audience with something new to throw them off guard. It could be something as simple as saying something you couldn't say on TV before or it could touch on a subject very few talked about before.

Cue Comedians like Mel Brooks and Norman Lear. Both of which are heavily into satire among most comedies and a lot of people have taken their messages the wrong way. And none so blatant as Brooks' Blazing Saddles and Lear's famous sitcom All In The Family:

Now to a modern audience, they would think these shows promote Racism and that anyone that watches and enjoys them, are racists. However what they fail to realize is the context behind these shows and characters. In the case of them both, Brooks and Lear came up with a way to battle Racism, by having their worst characters express it in such an over the top way, that audience members would think they were too stupid or too silly to take seriously. Meaning that. And while it did work for Blazing Saddles once some audiences got through watching the movie from beginning to end, it didn't work so well with All In The Family. That is until I saw some reaction videos. In the case of All In The Family it was a happy accident. When it first started out a lot of the wrong people latched on to Archie Bunker, despite him initially being the sitcom villain of the show. When Lear realized a lot of people loved Archie, rather than try to tell the audience they were stupid he did what most creators rarely do and tweaked the character. Archie initially started out as downright malicious, before they simply made him just naively ignorant. During his final show Archie Bunker's Place it all culminated into an iconic scene that would have made a lot of people proud while still maintaining a humorous show:

So in short on that one when it comes to subjects like racism in comedy. I veer towards all the ones that do anti-racism. It allows you to hear the words, but at the same time helps you realize how stupid the words are.

Same with subjects that are just as touchy like Rape and Murder.

In the case of Murder. Murder can be funny in terms of dark comedy, but at the same time some people go to far in their comedy when they base their murder scenes off real life kills. Such as Simpsons making fun of Charles Whitman:

Now to be fair on the writers, they were simply invoking that Ned hated Homer so much that he saw everyone as Homer and wanted to kill them. That's funny, but when I looked up where this was based off of, it became less funny to me. Now I'm not saying you can't use real life murders even the most taboo of them, for comedy. Lord knows if done right, you got yourself a great bit of satire on top of that. However if your whole comedy was based solely on recreating the murder and less on the comedic context you were trying to plan, then that's not being funny. That's being a sick bastard to me.

Same goes with jokes based off Rape. Now George Carlin had already gone through the rules on what it takes to make that subject funny and to the credit of most comedians, from stand up to Newgrounds, they followed those rules well and no one got hurt:

However like many taboo subjects some comedians or assholes that think they're funny, take things too far.

Case in point James Gunn. Now whether you're against him or defending him, things must be addressed. I do believe he meant every word on those disgusting "jokes" of his, however that's no the point, you're entitled to disagree with me on this. However, the thing that pissed me off, about the whole thing was that he was telling "Pro-Rape Jokes." Much like Racism there are Pro and Anti-Rape jokes. Anti-Racism jokes go through great lengths including but not limited to various uses of the slurs and actions to show how stupid racism is. Pro-Racism jokes is that the punch line is the race that the racist telling the joke hates. Anti-Rape jokes go so far as showing the full scene to show how bad it is and how wrong the rapists are for doing what they do. Pro-Rape jokes were created by Rapists whom use them to try to normalize rape to people, in an effort to take down anti-rape laws. It's a form of satire that disgusts me because said satire is saying "You're the freak if you aren't gonna go through great lengths to fuck someone." Gunn's jokes were pro-rape and I don't give a fuck how many people like Slither, Scooby-Doo or Guardians of The Galaxy. He should answer for that shit and not get a slap on the wrist.

Now that pretty much sums up my views on Pro- and Anti- stuff. The one "comedy" I cannot for the life of me stand is this new thing going around for the past 20 years. The Comedy where people act like assholes to each other in public, then when called out for it, they backtrack claiming they were joking. I don't know what kind of sick fucks you have to be to find that funny but it's not. We live in a world where if we say the wrong thing at the wrong time that we get cancelled for various reasons. So needless to say even if you assholes were joking, you're not helping the situation, you're making it worse. Confusing people and laughing at them about it isn't funny. Yelling at someone on the net or in public is not funny. It's sick and it's wrong and has to be stopped. And for those who think I don't have a sense of humour simply because I don't find that funny. Fuck you. You broke the rules of comedy, you're not funny. You're nothing but a bunch of loser bullies waiting to pounce on anyone that ruins your fun then goes through great lengths to destroy them simply because they don't find you funny. Newsflash. The world doesn't revolve around you so stop revolving around others who clearly don't like you.

With that said, other than that, comedy is something we really need in these troubling times. Take care, be safe and have a laugh.

Small follow up on this:

https://cieirmusic.newgrounds.com/news/post/1322203

After a couple of days of making and drinking the stuff, the results for the most part have been relatively the same. Albeit with some small signs of the pomegranate juice working such as my skin becoming smoother. So external stuff is ok. However there is a flaw. If one is under high periods of stress the cortisol in their system inhibits the effects. So needless to say, even if drinking this for nearly a week or two, works, if I get stressed out I may relapse into smoking. That said, now that I know the problem I can solve it. While it may take time, I need to find something to add, that will severely lower cortisol levels in my body. That's right. Phase 4 is gonna be focused on the relief of physical stress. When physical stress can be relieved, mental health can be healed. Stay tuned.

Covid-19 IS MAN-MADE!!!

I was just going on my computer, checking the news feed of my country, which includes but not limits to the Toronto Sun and I found this:

https://www.msn.com/en-ca/news/world/covid-man-made-former-wuhan-based-scientist-says/ar-AA14WIqb?cvid=5a79c4a2a660477bbcd49c3c9c5f6682

Former Wuhan based scientist Andrew Huff, who worked at the Wuhan Institute of Virology. He stated that not only was it made in Wuhan China, it was funded by the US. Which means after spending so much time blaming one and other, it turned out it was both their faults.

I only have one thing to say:

I KNEW IT!!!

While I had no idea who did it I knew the virus was Man-Made. It was pretty believable that either one did it, but I had no idea both did. With that being said, this is actually a world victory and I'll tell you why. One of the biggest problems with every epidemic is that it's required to find the source in order to stop it. That's how vaccines are made. They find out what makes a virus tick and they use what they can to make it tick no more. So now that they know it was man made, then they have a record of the stages of the virus, how it got made and most importantly how to fucking stop it. We're not out of the woods yet, but this was a major stepping stone. Everyone take a deep breath. We may make it through this.

And for those that think it's bullshit, Roddy Piper's got the answer for that.

@anondaveclock is about 2 followers away from 100. Let's help him achieve that goal.

A direct follow-up to this:

https://cieirmusic.newgrounds.com/news/post/1315692

As most of you have been following, I've been trying to make a health drink. So far, I've managed to tackle food cravings, by mixing Chlorophyll with White Tea and even inadvertently made a formula that would help one quit smoking. On top of those. I discovered through the Chlorophyll that not only does it feel like the first time I've smoked a cigarette, but it also makes it taste terrible. So on top of eliminating cravings, it makes the taste of a smoke, repulsive to one after a few days drinking this stuff. I don't know exactly how it does it, but I can hypothesize, that the caffeine which is the strongest in White Tea, offers a substitute for the stimulation one craves when they need to smoke. Whereas the Chlorophyll flushes the nicotine along with the other chemicals found in cigarettes out of your system. Proving that although addiction to smokes is 90 percent mental, it's also 10 percent physical. On top of it, it also seems to flush out other drugs both benign and narcotic. I smoked a joint after a week of drinking this stuff and it also felt like the first time I've smoked a joint. The hacking, the coughing, the severe need for food, the whole 9 yards. So if you like the ganja like I do, this would make a great aid for it as well.

Now you're probably wondering, where am I gonna go from here? Well. The main intention for adding Chlorlophyll was so that it could take care of the overall internal health. From fixing some physical discomfort such as the symptoms of IBS, to literally reducing any tumours benign or malignant. So basically, I've got it covered in both the weight loss aspect and the internal health aspect.

So the next step, or phase three, would be to cover external stuff, from small things like acne, to major things like scarring and tissue damage. But for now, I'm going for the more cosmetic route.

This is Pomegranate juice. One of the Superjuices in the world. Now whether you drink this stuff or eat it by the berry or even use it for cosmetics, it has the following benefits:

• Reduces Cardiovascular disease.
• Supports Joint Health
• Improves Memory
• Improves Sexual performance.
• Improves fertility.
• Endurance
• Wound Healing
• Anti-aging.
• Reduces Dry Skin
• UV protection.
• Reduces Acne.

Now I only bought the thing for the mostly cosmetic effects, that if done right I could heal myself inside and out. Safe to say, at this point, I might be making the science fiction equivalent to a magic potion.

Anywho. After I do my usual thing such as boiling the water, let it go down to room temperature and making the tea:

In which I used my Juice Jug for this. Mostly for reference.

Then putting the Chlorophyll in:

As you can see, like before it's way darker. 40 Drops per 2L

And then:

Using a cleaned Eye Dropper from one of my bottles of Chlorophyll used before, I extract the Pomegranate juice. Much like the Chlorophyll to start, I use 40 drops for the 2L Jug.

The result of which looks like this:

While it's hard to see due to the darkness of the liquid, it gives off sort of a pinkish hue to it. Like a very dark pink.

At this point I have put that in the fridge and am waiting for it to be cold. I will update this when I try it out. I honestly hope this works.

Update 9:21 PM

It has been an hour since I put the mix in the fridge and the result is kinda anticlimactic:

For starters, despite what it looked like before, in the glass it seems to only look like ordinary white tea. Maybe as a result of me buying a different brand of Chlorophyll. I drank two cups to test it out. That said from what I've read on said brand, it's super concentrated, so I may have drank more than I should. Also, despite the equal amounts of pomegranate juice put in there. I don't taste anything but the tea. I would have at least thought it would taste sweeter but no. That said, I'm not losing all hope. I'm just gonna have to make another one. Stay tuned.

Update 11:37 PM. I drank the entire jug of tea, big mistake, do not do that. So needless to say I may not be able to get some sleep for a while. While I've felt some effects of it, like the previous ones, they were faint. So needless to say I had to make another batch. This time however, I went by the instructions of the new brand bottle. Basically 1 Tablespoon per cup. So for 2L aka 8 Cups I used 8 Tablespoons and the results?:

Now it's the darkness I seek. Once again, the tea changed colour exactly how I planned it. It is a solid dark green. So solid that when I added the same amount of Pomegranate Juice, that I did with the chlorophyll it didn't even change it. I would test this out, but I'll wait until at least tomorrow afternoon, as I have already consumed a dangerous amount of caffeine as it is.

Also I apologize for how messy the jug looks. I've used it before with my original formula and that is simply calcium deposits, because I've used tap water to make the tea. Distilled water is more reccomended and safer, but the fact I was able to get results using tap water, shows just how powerful this potion is.

Uodate December 1st 12:23 AM

Found a safe way to test it. On top of making this, I make a conscious effort to make chlorophyll water. Using a 4L distilled Water Jug, that has long since been empty. I've filled it with the exact amount needed per 4L. Since it's 8 Tablespoons per 2L, it's 16 Tablespoons for 4L. Which I've used for both the Chlorophyll but also added, the same amount of Pomegranate Juice. The taste was that of a faint sweetness, surrounded by a grass like taste, similar to wheat grass. So needless to say I added another 8 Tablespoons to the 2L jug of Tea. Hopefully this will make it taste better, while still giving good results. If not, then I guess I should call it Poor Man's Buckley's, since it would taste awful, but work.

Update December 1st 6:35 AM

After waiting 6 hours and the caffeine getting out of my system enough to tire me once more, I decided to pour myself a glass of the new and hopefully improved concoction:

Much like the jug earlier it maintains a darker color however, upon closer inspection it has a more reddish brown look to it. A dark reddish brown.

After sipping it, I managed to get what I can only describe as a literal bittersweet taste. Bitter from the Chlorophyll and tea combination, but sweet from the pomegranate. Should any effects occur in the next few days, I will update them. Until then. So far so good.

December 1st 8:17 AM

Within almost 2 hours of drinking the first cup, I feel familiar sensations. So, naturally I know it's working. I have yet to feel or see anything that would pertain to a direct result, but it's my first cup so I don't expect anything new just yet.

CIEIR Music of Relaxation

I might make this into an album later on, but I have made a playlist of all my relaxation music including the newest one. Mainly because I feel that if I'm gonna be making this I may as well put them together. Much like a lot of stuff, this happened by total accident and I'm enjoying it while I can, but first let's list off these songs one by one.

First is Relax and Think of Tomorrow. It was one of my first attempts to get out my usual dark mindset, but apparently it was so good that it managed to get featured into the @TheTankTribune Phonograph:

Oh ya, I'm still riding on that.

I even did a word version of it to see if it would improve relaxation.

Which I won't put in the album because I wanted to focus more on the instrumental stuff.

The next one is Just Breathe. The song that started Light Harmony. With this one, I wanted to make one that you can sync your breathing with. Things just snowballed from there.

This one, Floating In Nothingness. At this point I wanted to create an idea of darkness, but in the isolation sense. Nothing, but peace and quite for all around. Nothing to distract the senses. Things like that.

Drifting in Open Water. With this one I wanted to create through music, the idea of just floating peacefully adrift across a never ending body of water.

With Floating On A Cloud Way Up In The Air, I wanted to for the most part see if a shorter relaxation song had just as much of an effect as the longer ones.

Probably the most beautiful song I have ever created so far. I wanted to show the beauty of darkness, but not in the overtly gothic or depressing way, but rather a more positive outlook of it.

So let me know what you think regarding making this into an album.

Thanks for reading, if you're feeling generous check out my bandcamp and tip me on Ko-Fi.

Over the years whenever I've ever made an accusation that things may not be what they seem, I get called two words. Even if they don't even qualify as the topic. Those words? "Conspiracy Theorist".

Now when it comes to conspiracy theories I am so-so on it because there have been moments that seem too ridiculous to believe, but end up being true anyway. However in terms of calling me one, yes I connect dots, but I never shout conspiracy over all of them. I just notice something's off and say why I think something's off.

To me a conspiracy theorist falls along the lines of some people making something out of nothing or a small fraction of something. Like say for example the JFK conspiracy theories. Some people say there may have been other shooters. Plausible, because as a president John F. Kennedy did have a lot of enemies. However others take it to the nth degree and claim ridiculous stuff like say the shooter was actually in the car or some shit like that. That's a conspiracy theory.

That said, I've also noticed that Conspiracy Theories have become so common place they've been the talk of movies:

As well as become the butt of many jokes:

Yet whether you believe them or not, Conspiracy Theories will always be around before and after us. So as a bit of a joke. I decided to come up with my own Conspiracy Theory and encourage others to submit their own. Now these can be 100 percent fake or based off things you actually believe in, but the point is to make them sound somewhat believable.

Here's mine:

The Beyond Meat Company is putting nano-machines in their burgers, making people think they're healthy, when in fact they're turning them into slaves. All so they can be sacrificed to the Great Moon Sun Star for profit. It's why they're all so pale after a steady diet of them and the only way you can tell it's one of them, is when they say "Nice day out Eh?" That's right, it's all a big plot to turn everyone into a Canadian.

Now you all come up with yours. Have fun.