Kind of a follow up on this:

The Secret of True Love

Part of what made me discover the secret, was that due to said outside forces, I had to learn to let her go at least for a while. And while it caused me great pain, I was able to make it through. Once I was able to let her go for now, I was also able to let go of a few other issues, including but not limited to the circumstances, regarding my mother's death. After I was able to let things go, after a boat load of crying, I felt something strange yesterday. I felt lighter, I felt like I could loosen up again. I felt happier than I ever been before. It wasn't until then, I was able to find enlightenment.

For those whom are confused. I'm a spiritual person and one of the many things I've been trying to do is unlock my Chakras and heal and balance them. I even went so far as watch an episode of Avatar The Last Airbender to get a crash course on it, because Nickelodeon stuff aside, they did explain it in a way even kids could understand:

Now for context, Aang was able to open all but one. The Crown Chakra. He got confused because a lot of the others encouraged love, but in order to open this one, he must let go of all Earthly attachments, including but not limited to his love interest Katara. So needless to say, Aang did not want to do that. Mainly because he thought letting things go meant gone forever. Something I didn't blame him for. But what his teacher was trying to tell him, is that he wouldn't lose Katara or anything he cared about on said Earth. Letting go is like casting a piece of paper into a river, rivers can go as far as ponds, lakes, oceans, reaching as far around the world as possible, but if what you let go makes it all around the world, it will by it's own choice come back to you, rather than you having to chase it and growing attachments. Let things go and everything falls into place.

Now it sounds easy, but it's not quite. For example for me to let go of the issues regarding my mother's death, I went to my old home, and played this on my phone:

It was a song my mother requested be played at her funeral, but a bitch of a relative of mine who made it all about her chose her favourite songs instead. So out of spite for said bitch and to give my mom a proper send off, I played this. I cried, then I had the resolve to keep going and moving on with my life. Then when I went to visit some good relatives of mine, I started to feel this strange energy. I was happy, more confident with myself and able to live my life more to the fullest. Hell I just woke up from a drunken party and I don't even feel hungover. Because I was able to enjoy it more and the environment was nice enough that I was able to recover and just get on with my stuff.

A lot of people have their own issues, minor and major that equate to Earthly attachments. Grudges, griefs, love that was lost, loss of friends, loss of family members, abuse, you name it. And as bad and horrible as it may get, part of the impact of such negativity is that we have always tried to hold on to it, so we won't forget. However, we hold onto it so much, that rather than it enlighten us, it holds us back.

So I ask, beg or downright demand that you all look deep within yourself. See what you think is holding you back and just let it the fuck go. Just be done with it. Resolve any issues you can, but other than that, fuck everything else.

It's like the old serenity prayer says:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

You can't change things that don't want to be changed nor things you obviously don't know how to change. All you can do, is try to find a way out of it. Get less involved with the worlds woes unless you plan to join the army or join a humanitarian cause. If you're just gonna sit on your computer or phone to bitch endlessly about it, you'll never be enlightened.

The things you can change can range from righting personal wrongs, making amends and letting go of the baggage that causes you self-doubt. It took me 26 almost 27 years of my 32 soon to be 33 year life, to figure that out. The only reason I'm talking about it now, is to use my experience, so that it doesn't take long for the next person to do it as it really is that simple.

Or as the Narrator from Fight Club would say:

"My Eyes Are Open"

Point being is that, to achieve this state of mind, you must let go of all attachements, even the things you hold so dear in your life good and bad, let them go. It doesn't mean they're gone forever, they might be or they might come back. But when you learn to just let go, you'll become a better person.

Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.

While I never quite stated it most out loud, because either some don't believe it, some don't think I deserve it and overall it's not everyone's business. I mentioned before I found love. I won't go into too much detail about it, but while things are rocky at this point due to outside forces, as a result of our brief but good relationship, I was able to discover the secret of true love.

For context, whenever someone looks up top 10 Romantic TV Couples. Although new couples tried, I will always state that Gomez and Morticia Addams were the best couple in the history of couples:

While many fans of the show would agree, not a lot would know why. After all, the Addams Family while nice people, are often fucking scary. They equate tortures and beheadings to foreplay. However take away the macabre side for just one moment and list off the things that tick off the romance and marriage lists.

1. Although they are married, they trust each other and love each other to allow each other to do their own things individually.
2. Unless it was for the sake of a certain plot, they not once had fights or accusations of extramarital affairs.
3. Most importantly, while they do value each other's individual space, when they do do things together. Be it going on honeymoons or dumping hot lead on Christmas Carolers, it's a spectacle to behold. Hell in the 90s movies, they basically used auction numbers as a turn on and conceived Pubert Addams in the middle of an auction floor.

In my case, I realized with mine that although we still love each other, we should separate and let us do our own thing. That's where the secret comes in.

Many couples and do not bullshit me, you do this too, often have times where they either go to separate places or go places together. Shopping, dancing, bar hopping, you name it. Some couples, are so insecure with themselves, that whenever they separate even for a few hours, they assume the worst out of each other. "Oh she's at a bar without me, maybe she's fucking some other guy." "My man's at a bachelor party, he's obviously fucking the stripper." Things like that. Now I had the fortunate luxury to know how promiscuous my love was. It didn't bother me, save for the fact that I was worried whomever she was with at the time, would either abuse her or give her an STD. I was the son of a Hippie, I believe in free love and she liked me a hell of a lot more, so it helped. But like any other guy I would have gotten insecure. I mean look at Dante from Clerks, when he found out what his girlfriend at the time Veronica did:

However despite her sexual history, she didn't want that anymore. Veronica wanted Dante and Dante only, but he was so full of himself pining over an ex of his that he didn't care. By the time he realized it, it was already too late. Had I not watch this and Chasing Amy, I probably would have reacted the same way. Hell a lot of members of my family, tried to talk me out of the relationship, simply based on sexual history alone.

Which leads me to my point on the secret. So let's hear it.

Sometimes, even if you're destined soulmates, you have to separate every now and then, to allow your partner and yourself to have individual growth. This could be anything good or bad, but at the same time, the experiences it wrought allow them to grow and expand on their own terms, so that if and when they feel ready to come back together, they won't just know how to take care of themselves, but share the experiences with each other in order to take care of each other.

That is true love. That is what love is all about, it's what it's always been about and I hate to say it, a lot of people even the best of couples, screwed up in that department. Some think love is about one person controlling the other, because only ONE knows best. Others think it's about convenience and material. Some think love is all about sex only. This crap is wrong. For as long as you assume the worst of each other and not have faith your partner is ok on their own sometimes, then there's no point. You honestly don't love each other if you can't even trust or have faith in each other. I've only experienced love for about a few months and yet I get it. A lot of you so called players, never really experienced love, so you don't get it and if you comment here, telling me otherwise. Fuck you, your word means shit to me. Love is all about trusting each other to do their own thing, while at the same time share things together.

And that is why Gomez and Morticia are the best couple. Even if it was for the sake of comedy, Charles Fucking Addams, found the secret to true love, using his love of horror comedy.

And it only took me a few months to get it myself, because I looked past my own insecurities and tried to see things through the perspective of my partner. She even once literally gave me sunglasses to be more on the nose about it. Hehe. Nowadays regardless of how it turns out, I love, trust and have faith that things will be fine whether we're together or not.

Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.

First of all I want to wish you all a happy Chinese New Year. Gong Hei Fat Choi. While I am not Chinese myself, I always had a fascination with the Chinese Zodiac, for one reason or another. Such as having family travel to the land in the past as well as my obsession with an actor, who's Zodiac Year cropped up. This is the year of the Dragon and that Actor was named Bruce Lee:

So needless to say that alone resonates with me. In my case though I was born in 1991, The Year of The Goat.

Now I won't exactly say what the revelation, because of a few factors. However while most people have resolutions in every version of New Years, every New Year I celebrate, give me some revelation of my own past. In this case a big one. It was a repressed memory, that came flooding back to me at a brief moment of my despair. A traumatizing event that in my past that became the root of all my tragedies. I won't name names, but the short end of it is, I have a relative that did unspeakable things to people including but not limited to many female children. He also drove my mother and my brother into their deaths. Causing the stress of my mother's cancer and corrupting my brother. One of which someone I knew recently. We couldn't stop him back then, because he was always protected by someone whom used to be a good person, but turned into a piece of shit. That person has been dead for years now so I'm hoping once both sides of the law know what this person did that justice will truly be done. At this point I don't care what happens to me good and bad, because I hope I can at least bring closure to many involved.

Now this revelation came to me on the year my favourite actor was born under, so it's not a coincidence for me. But it's both traumatized me, angered me saddened me, but I felt something else. Relief, liberation and above all else a happiness I can't even begin to describe. It was like the mother of all weights that has been holding me back, has finally lifted.

Now at this point, I don't care what happens in my career here. Whether people buy my music or not, doesn't matter to me. Because I basically achieved a form of enlightenment, that pales in comparison to money and fame. That doesn't mean I'll stop, but it's no longer a priority to me. I now know a major ugly truth and it set me free.

Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.

This is S.T. Musician of CIEIRMusic, for now signing off.

Happy New Year. Hope everyone gets a red envelope with a shitload of money.

This is both funny and serious at the same time. Now part of the reason why drama is hard to avoid, is that at least a small percentage of us, have empathy. We care about what others think and feel, even when by all intents and purposes, it should not be our business and not be our problem.

Me, I'm the worst offender, because I try not to give a fuck about certain things, that don't involve me anyway. But my heart and mind go into overdrive whenever I see the little things that draw me in. Case in point, Newgrounds and my School life. I fucking hate bullies. It's 95 percent of the reason why I get into so much trouble and fights both on and offline. And while ignoring is the proper solution, they would say or do anything, to draw you back into the fight. Call you names that simply aren't true. Spread rumours about you, to goad you into fighting them. Even go so far as hitting you once, either as a means of intimidation or proving that they can hurt you. I learned that one the hard way about a few weeks ago, when certain bad elements beat my face in. Although it bruised and bled me, I didn't feel pain. In fact I was disappointed that it didn't hurt despite being bruised and bleeding. I even scared the other bad elements by saying the following. "YOU SEE THIS?! THIS IS A LOVE TAP COMPARED TO WHAT I GO THROUGH EVERY DAY!!" Even to prove my point, I dared many of them to kill me and despite them outnumbering me 4 to 1, they not once raised their fists. Instead they opened their disgusting teen raping mouths and said the following "Either move or kill yourself." Instead I exposed them for the teen raping bastards they were and rather than them getting the hint and leaving me alone, they spread rumours about me saying the N word. As well as turning the accusations against me, by claiming I'm one.

For the record, my family and friends are racially and religiously diverse. If they ever thought I'd say that word, I'd literally be dead. Not only that, but while I would look into cases on whether or not someone is a pedophile, let me make this perfectly clear.

I FUCKING HATE PEDOPHILES!!! I dealt with them all my life, be it almost being a victim, witnessing helplessly friends and family being victims and recently, they act like I'm one, to cover their own ass. So needless to say, you all know why the Jes vs this Joe thing, pisses me off so much. Because it's the fucking same as real life. Guys like Joe, do this shit every day to drag others with them. It's one of the reasons why I say that even if he is a teen, it doesn't matter. These guys are in their 40s, think High School Drama life is still the way to go and when people disagree with them or slight them in some way, they're dead. One of which, held a 10 year grudge against a guy, he thought stole from him. When in fact the superintendent at his building took his stuff, through legal means. Another guy seems to take surface circumstances and make it look like a hate crime. For example. I could care less what colour you are, what race you are, what religion you worship or who you decide to marry and fuck. If I see you do Evil, I call you out on your evil, not the titles you use as a shield. Yet if I, a white person, with some native blood faces against an army of evil people, that happen to be a different colour than I am, suddenly I'm a bigot. You could be white, black, chinese, middle eastern or even those Green Skinned chicks from Star Trek for all I care and the fight would still be the same. I don't use slurs, I use swears. I don't say it's because of your race, I say it's because of your character. I don't give a fuck how old you are on the net, if you're gonna pick a fight with someone and cyberbully them, I will fight you until you cry. That's how I lived my life. Trying to right wrongs, only for my rep to sour. The recent batch 10 years ago raped an underage escort well until she turned 25. Do the math on that one. And yet when I call them out on it, I'm the bad guy.

However, that being said, I've had a revelation.

As most people know, I use sage. But I don't just use it for smudging. A medicine man friend of mine recommended I smoke a sage joint. Tobacco mixed with sage. The best way to describe it, is like smoking the literal feeling of not giving a fuck. All my problems, above as well as minor problems I deal with every day, took the back burner and I saw the world for what it should be, pure bliss pure joy. It was like I was free of my burdens and ready to enjoy life.

Now I'm not encouraging you all to smoke sage, as it is very dangerous and unpredictable. However, what I'm saying is now that I know what it's like to not give a fuck, I think maybe through various means you all can do it too. But here are some steps:

1. Unless it involves friends, family or school. Stop giving a fuck about the world. Unless we all decide to be politicians, us bitching about it never solves anything and even then most of you as Politicians would fuck it up even if your heart was in the right place. The world is not our business unless they decide to go to war with us.
2. Avoid seeking validation from those that clearly hate you. People have a vain sense that everyone should love them and no one should hate them. Me, I used to be one of those people. I tried everything I could to get people on my side even though it was quite clear they would hate me no matter what. You can't please everyone, stop trying and value the ones that are on your side for real. If they hate you? Who gives a fuck. People should accept who you are, not what you can give them.
3. Always know when to walk away. Sometimes even if you don't give a fuck, certain people would try to keep you in their circle and suck the life out of you with boring bullshit drama. No matter what they do, just walk away. If you have anything to say, just say the following "You're not worth my time and energy." and walk away. It's a hard thing to do, but it does work. Walking away was the hardest for me, but I still keep doing it.

The world can fix itself, we don't have to pay attention to it all the time. Use that time and energy to focus on the quality of your life. Save yourself first, before taking on the world. Get a steady cashflow job, get a home, watch some tv, play some games. Whatever the case may be to entertain you, just simply stop giving a fuck about everyone else and start caring for you more. Be a little more selfish for once.

And if anyone asks where you're going and what you're doing you only have one answer:

I JUST DON'T GIVE A FUCK!!!

Thank you for reading this. Stay tuned for more.

This is probably one of the strangest blogs, I ever written. But it will all make sense. I just had to tell as many people as I could about this, because I think I discovered The Secret, but in my own way, but it's a way we call can relate no matter who we are, where we're from or what we're doing in life at this very moment good or bad.

Ok for context, a weird question. Has there ever been a time in your life, where you remember doing stupid things? Doesn't matter what they are or why you did them, but basically any moment from your childhood, to your adulthood. Whether it's sneaking into a movie theater or doing drugs at certain times or things like that. Things that are often risky, dangerous and even if you survive, you'd most likely get into a lot of trouble. Think about it for a moment. Think about it before you read further.

Anywho, for those who aren't TLDR freaks, listen up.

Over the past 27 years of my 32, soon to be 33 year old life this coming April, I have done a boat load of stupid things. Getting into fights at school and in public, going to war with my own city in one way or another. Got involved in many Controversies and pissing off the wrong people in general. While also living a life of Weed, Booze, Cigarettes and the occasional Hallucinogen, mostly to expand my mind, but still pretty fucking stupid. I thought I was surely gonna either die, get arrested or simply fall into a portal leading directly to Hell itself. But then I realized something. In those years I've also managed to achieve great things. I graduated High School, I worked up the courage to advertise my work on sites like these. Achieving not financial success, but critical success. Making new friends and enemies alike both on the net and in real life. Going on epic adventure after epic adventure, while at the same time doing what I can to protect and help the woman I love. I basically lead the life of a Superhero, without even realizing it until now and while I have yet to achieve success here, I found other ways of succeeding. Some which will take time, but eventually will pay off.

Now at the time, all the stupid shit didn't seem to go anywhere for me, but then I took my reflection of my life to a wider lens. I realized that separately these events don't go anywhere, but together in a sequence that started when I was 5 years old and seems to slowly but surely come to a close in this part of my life. I realized then and there, that all my random stupidity became a dangerous, risky, convoluted, crazy, Master Plan. As a result I was able to find better ways to improve my life and keep moving forward no matter what. And honesty I think it was because I did those stupid things. They caused a ripple effect.

Now I'm not saying try to do more stupid things, but what I am saying, is next time you realize you've done a stupid thing, air your regret, smile and move on. Because you never know. It may not mean much then, but later on, it could save your life. It saved my life and I'm still trying to fight to improve it. Whether you know it or not, the stuff you've all done, stupid or no, matters in your life. Rather than hate it, appreciate it. Who knows, maybe that bad joke you told way back when, would end up being funny now. Or you could stop a nuclear meltdown, playing Eeny Meeny Miny Moe. The possibilities are endless of how much stupidity can pay off. Some can make money off it laughing at it ala Daria. Or show more appreciation to how creative stupidity can get ala Beavis and Butthead. The sky's the limit.

Don't listen to this guy:

Listen to the idiot he's speaking to:

He may not be bright, but he accomplished a lot including but not limited to using his love of food to save his life.

Point being is, that over the years, I looked down on stupidity, because I thought I was superior to it. But that's not true, I can be just as stupid as any other person. I'm only human. But nowadays I seen many great things created by a lot of lovable idiots and I can't wait to see more.

That's the secret, learning to appreciate all aspects of life, including the negative. Especially now that you've learned from it all.

Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.

Picking Up Where This Left Off

One day, S.T. Musician in uniform was patrolling. He finally sees the Deadly Demoness in her uniform. They confront each other knowing who each other is. They stare at each other in a way, that you don't know if they're gonna fight, but instead, S.T. reaches his hand out for her to shake.

S.T. Musician: My name is Shane. It's very nice to meet you.

Deadly Demoness: My name is Winter. It's nice to meet you too. What do you have in that satchel?

S.T. Musician: Well, I saw you were having trouble in your day to day life that I thought I'd help you out. I notice you're a spiritual person like myself so I thought this would help you.

He takes out a bag of white sage and a bottle of Lavender essential oil.

S.T. Musician: I know you're a user so the Lavender would take off any headache that you'd have when you're craving. The sage, is mostly to eliminate all negativity on you and your environment. It will also battle any demons that have been haunting you lately.

Deadly Demoness: Thank you. I had a feeling you weren't like the others.

They walk on the way to the building but it's guarded by the wannabes. They see her, but they don't see him.

S.T.: I gotta be honest. I really hate your friends.

Deadly Demoness: So do I.

S.T.: Let's split up. I'll go to the back you go to the front. We'll try to meet in the lobby.

Deadly Demoness: I'll look out for you. I love you.

They split off. S.T. Enter's The backdoor while Deadly Demoness goes to the front. S.T. meet's Light Harmony while Deadly Demoness is intercepted by WDD Wannabe Dark Divide. While he waits for her, he talks to his friends.

S.T.: She's an adventurer, I'll give her that.

Light: What happened?

S.T.: I found out she was a spiritualist, so I took stuff from my own cultures, to help her. Sage and Lavender Oil.

Harmony: You're trying to save her soul? Wow you must really love this woman.

Light: What about her, is she gonna be ok?

S.T.: She'll be fine. She's a tough person. If she can't flirt her way out, she'll fight her way out. I just hope to God she didn't think I ditched her.

S.T. Lays Low at Light Harmony's pad. Smoking weed and cigarettes while listening to music.

S.T.: You know what's strange? Before I met her, I did a what if scenario song on Cinderella. And then she shows up to play the role for real. A Cinderella, lost on the way home looking for her prince.

Light: Maybe she heard your song before and was a fan of your work. Even Dark Divide can't take that from you.

Harmony: Maybe it was meant to be prophetic. That you somehow manifested this girl through law of attraction. Take away the fact that she's supposed to be our enemy and look at what you have. A lost, lonely child in an adult's body, whom is looking for love and is nice to those that deserve it. Sound familiar.

S.T.: She's me. Is that what you're saying.

Harmony: It is. I only know that because you saw yourself in us, when you helped it out. Maybe you should go check on her.

S.T. goes back to the lobby, but everyone was gone. He felt bad even though he knew she was still alive through their connection. He gives up and goes back home, only to find her in the lobby, looking like she just walked away from a fight.

Deadly Demoness: They called me a dog. I hate when they call me that.

S.T.: Did you make them suffer for it.

Deadly Demoness: Yeah.

S.T.: That's my girl.

S.T. Invited her over to the house. Now fun fact, although there were many women in his life, S.T. Musician, never made it this far with any of them. He never been kissed, he never even had sex as he thought his purity would enhance his spirituality. So needless to say he was hesitant. Whereas Deadly Demoness, through experience knew right away. She took the lead, gave him some practice kisses to start and they had their first makeout session. It only lasted a few minutes, but to them it was an eternity. They hung out, watched a movie and laid beside each other, the connection was strong. They were still fully clothed, not once doing anything other than stay close. Yet the energy that surrounded them felt like they were making love for an eternity. When it was time for her to go, he escorted her out of the door.

Deadly Demoness: Bye Prince Charming.

S.T. Musician: See you later Cinderella.

The next day comes. Light Harmony and S.T. are hanging out.

Harmony: You made out with her?! Damn, now I do feel jealous. What was it like?

Light: HARMONY!!! The man had his first official French kiss, he's entitled to some privacy.

S.T.: It's ok I'll tell you.

Light: Oh God no.

S.T.: It's ok, I'll keep it somewhat clean. It is Newgrounds after all, adults aren't the only one reading this. And any kid who complains about getting scarred for life should have just stopped reading here. Anywho, one of my biggest fears as a kid was kissing a girl, I like girls, but I was always hesitant for one reason or another. Be it not being ready or worried how'd they react if I was spontaneous. And of course the various STDs out there. Yet. She picked up on that, taught me how to do it until I got into the motion for it and we did it for real. And I never felt a cleaner mouth. It was like disturbingly clean.

Light Harmony: Ah we see.

S.T.: I figure if I keep seeing her more often and she feels safer around me I could convince her to turn her life around. It won't be easy, she's been used to it for a long time so a lot of hard wiring. It's why I started with the sage and oil. Save her soul. Save her health. Save her life.

To be continued......

Picking up where this left off.

The following takes place on Christmas day.

S.T. Musician: Do you see that?

Light: It looks like people getting Christmas Donations.

S.T. Musician: Ya but look who's giving them.

Harmony: Ya that is suspicious, people thought he was just a panhandler. Yet he somehow was resourceful enough to get a donation van.

Light: Ya. I get the feeling those gifts come with a price.

S.T.: Ya it's like they're making a deal with the Devil. What is this guy?

Harmony: You think he may be the one doing all this crap in town? Getting the other dunderheads going while he "Swoops" in to save them hoping for votes.

Suddenly across the street, the Mystery Girl is seen walking. Looking at S.T. as if verbally telling him to follow her.

S.T.: Look I have to go. I need to see her before I go consult the order.

Light: I still think it's not right pursuing her, especially after knowing who she is.

Harmony: Ah let him have a break, better him run off with a seductress, than deal with this two-faced fuck.

S.T.: Good point. See ya.

S.T. Runs across the street.

Light Harmony: That girl is gonna eat him alive. He's doomed.

He runs into the Mystery Girl.

S.T.: I thought I'd run into you before I left. I have to go talk to some people out of town.

Mystery Girl: That's fine, I'm visiting folks for the holidays.

S.T.: Huh, so we're both gonna be busy.

Mystery Girl: Ya. Well Merry Christmas.

S.T.: Merry Christmas.

Suddenly out of nowhere they hug each other. Their lips to each other's ears. Whispering their confession.

S.T.: Know that no matter what happens, I'll always love you.

Mystery Girl: I love you too.

They let each other go and she runs off. The young Priestess shows up.

Young Priestess: It's time.

Back in the temple, S.T. is surrounded by the order once more. They all stare at him with an expression that is neither happy, sad, angry or even scared. They were completely stonefaced.

S.T.: Look. I know you tasked me to fight a great evil and needless to say I succeeded for the most part, including exposing an even greater evil. But now I found something else to care about and I want to see how this goes. All I want to know do I have to do anything from here on now.

Old Priestess: In the past years you've caused great pain to your enemies, your temple got destroyed and your compatriots nearly murdered your hated foe. I would say you've done enough.

Young Monk: The new evils should not even be your concern. Now about this girl. You know she has an evil past, yet you continue to pursue her?

Head Abbot: It is quite questionable. You're not one to go easy on evil. You must really fancy this woman.

Young Priestess: I've known Shane since we recruited him. Although his methods are questionable to say the least, he achieves results and tries to be a good judge of character.

Young Monk: You're just saying that because you fancy him too.

Young Priestess: Aww fuck you.

S.T. turns to the young priestess in shock. The rest just face palm.

Old Priestess: You really rubbed off on her. Look. We only want to know one thing. Are you happy?

S.T.: Yes. I feel we could make each other happy.

Head Abbot: From this point on, you don't have to do anything within your powers as a superhero, we will find a way to take care of these demons, you deserve a well earned sabbatical. I was in love once, never had the chance to tell the person how I felt. Don't lose yours.

S.T.: Thank you.

After the Holidays came and went, S.T. decided to do a little cat and mouse game. Him in civilian clothes, to see if he could find her. Yet every time he tried, she found him. Although it wasn't all consistent. One time, she was missing for 3 days. He went to the local pizza shop while he was looking. Sighing to himself.

S.T. Musician: Where are you Cinderella?

That was when he sees her walking by. In her Dark Divide minion attire, yet more concealed. The only thing recognizable was the lips he saw when he first saw her behind the mask. He went to follow her at first but....

Mystery Girl: TELEPATHICALLY Stop. You're in danger. Don't follow me.

S.T. Stops, but sits on the bench. Not following her, but watching where she goes. It was then he realized, she's in disguise and cutting off contact for now, for his protection.

The next day, he goes home. Sees her in the hallway before he goes upstairs and acts surprised to see her.

S.T.: Hey how was the holidays?

Mystery Girl: I wanted to see if you were ok.

S.T.: So you have been protecting me.

Mystery Girl: Ya.

S.T.: I appreciate that. Though try to see me more often.

Later on.

S.T.: She's not evil. She's well aware of the situation and she was protecting me.

Light: She was protecting you?

Harmony: How did you know she was telepathic?

S.T.: When I was a kid, I had some gifts, empathy, some telepathy, precognition and clairaudience. I grew up in a family which had supernatural encounters mostly, but they were minimal. She basically used hers to warn me without drawing attention to herself. This girl is a lot more smarter than she lets on.

Light: Well I guess you must see her again. Maybe there's a reason.

Harmony: Ya, plus, they said you don't have to do anything. Maybe seeing her would help with that.

S.T.: There's something else. Even though she told me not to follow her, she still approached my building like she was drawn to it. Either she was looking for a place we could talk, or maybe she was giving me clues. Either way. I figured out a few things. First off, she's a lot more powerful than I think. Second off, she's using that power to help me. I can't describe it, it's like we're linked. I could sense her, but I can't pinpoint it. Some kind of psychic atrophy.

Light: Ya, when you solve more problems with your fist, your mind becomes lazy.

Harmony: Maybe you need to go back to your paranormal roots.

To be continued.

The following takes place after S.T. Musician and Light Harmony of CIEIR Music defeated Dark Divide. Although remnants of the organization remains, peace has somewhat been attained in Fair City. S.T., in an attempt to adjust to a more normal and peaceful life rented a small, cheap apartment, where he can spend his free time doing what he wants on top of the usual crime fights. One day on Halloween, he attended a Karaoke Session. Light Harmony was there with him outside as he went for a post Karaoke Smoke.

Light: You really oughta quit those.

S.T.: I know. It's nothing, though, I just don't know what to do with myself. I fought crime among most things, out of sheer boredom. I kinda miss fighting the bad guys.

Harmony: I know what you mean. That fight with Dark Divide was the stuff of comic books. Still, we should enjoy this peace after all, we get to let loose and have fun.

Light: Who the hell is that?

Suddenly a woman shows up in an extravagant outfit with a mask. It looked like a mix between a fairy and a princess. She pranced around ballet style before dancing near the group. She looks at him, says nothing, but takes an earring off. Leaving it by S.T.'s feet. Before smiling, winking at him and prancing off. The trio was in shock.

Light: Huh, well that's something you don't see every day.

Harmony: I don't know, something about her is awfully familiar. S.T.? Are you ok?

S.T.: Did she just pull a Cinderella move on me?

Light: Oh God no. Shane, don't. I know you been lonely the past year, but don't.

Harmony: I agree, there's something about her I don't trust. Though it could be just jealousy in my case. I never caught your eye once when I was crushing on you.

Light: Harmony!!

S.T.: It's ok, she's over it. She's just making a comparison.

S.T. Picks up the Earring.

Light: Why did you pick that up?

S.T.: Well it's like you said. This is something that doesn't happen every day. Plus I have a pretty good idea who's behind that mask.

Harmony: Oh? Who?

S.T.: Well I won't say her name, but I met her about a year ago. In terms of appearance she's oddly attractive to me, but I knew her line of work and was forewarned to stay away from her. But she was polite and nice and worse she did was ask for a smoke.

Light: Oh God I see where this is going. Let me guess, you were being a gentleman and even lit it for her.

S.T.: Ya. Even when I knew what she was about, compared to the other bad guys here, she was harmless. It was like she was the building's version of a house cat. Popping up everywhere, nice to some people mean to others. And while I wasn't quite interested in her, she did try getting my attention one way or another. Showing up in my usual hangouts in elaborate costumes or sometimes even an outfit that suited my taste. You know I'm a sucker for 80s wear.

Light Harmony: We're familiar with it.

S.T.: One day I seen her in the lobby crying. Didn't know what it was about, but I felt in my heart I had to check on her. It was like she was a bad girl with an innocent soul. We kept our distance but still talked to each other, exchanged smokes. Typical stranger life. I think she did this because I was nice to her and she was trying in her own odd way to return the kindness.

Harmony: I don't know. There's just something there, something....dark.

S.T.: That's not what scares me. What scares me is I feel like I met her before. A long time ago.

The month passes by and S.T. put the fear of God into, two gangster wannabes that tried to lead what was left of Dark Divide. S.T. is out alone while Light Harmony goes shopping for a couple minute. The woman shows up in regular clothes.

S.T.: Oh hello. How are you?

Mystery Girl: Not to bad. You wouldn't happen to have a cigarette by any chance would you?

S.T.: Unfortunately no. Sorry.

The woman looks at S.T., with a look on her face that seems to show happiness, yet something she's holding back. Then suddenly, she grabs him and kisses him. Out of reflex, he dodges so she kisses him on the cheek. She then runs off just as Light Harmony saw the whole thing. Both smiling at him teasingly.

S.T.: I don't know what to make of this! WHAT THE FUCK!!? I don't know what to make of this.

Light: You sly dog you. I cannot believe we saw that.

Harmony: Damn, talk about the perfect timing.

S.T.: I'm just as shocked as you are. Cinderella just fucking kissed me. I did not see that one coming.

Light: Well she clearly likes you, maybe you should go talk to her.

Harmony: Ya, it wouldn't be the first time you helped a lonely soul out. After all we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.

S.T.: I don't know, I mean she's nice and all, but like you guys there's something about her I don't trust. Plus, part of why I don't pursue anymore is because I had rotten luck with women. Crushes that never went anywhere, Divide trying to Rape me every chance she gets. I don't know, maybe I'm just insecure.

Light: Well we been through Hell together so that's normal.

Harmony: Ya. You never know things might happen.

S.T.: We'll see.

Another month rolls around. A couple days before Christmas, S.T. and Light Harmony were having dinner when the girl shows up again. She hands him what looks like a grey piece of cloth.

Light: First she Cinderella's you. Then she kisses you. What is she up to this time.

Harmony: What did she give you?

S.T. unravels the cloth to see a pair of fresh store bought woman's underwear her size.

S.T.: Are you fucking kidding me?

Light: What the actual fuck?!

Harmony: Any more signals and there'd be landing lights on her bed sheet.

S.T.: This is starting to scare me a little.

After a rough moment with the DD Wannabes. S.T. heads for the stairwell. He sees her across the hallway and while he tries to smile to keep up appearances. But she could tell he was still angry.

Mystery Girl: Are you ok?

S.T.: Ya I'm fine. Look, I gotta go, I just to feel like talking to people right now.

He storms away. Moments later Light Harmony shows up.

Light: What's the matter?

Mystery Girl: Your friend showed up, he was smiling, but he looked pissed. I don't think he likes me.

Harmony: Oh, you saw him angry. Ok. Look we'll go talk to him.

The next day, S.T. and Light Harmony are hanging out.

S.T.: She thought I didn't like her? Damn. Now I feel like shit. I never meant her to feel that way.

Harmony: She seemed more worried about you though. Maybe she does like you. As in "Like" you l...fuck it. She likes you in the way I used to like you only she's more serious about it.

Light: Damn, that must have been hard to say.

Harmony: I may not be interested, but when I saw her look like that I knew exactly how she felt.

S.T.: Look, I'll set the record straight with her if I could find her.

They hang out at a burger place and he looks around after eating. By chance he finds her and gets her attention.

S.T.: First of all I wanted to apologize, I simply had a bad day and you happened to just see me like that. I heard that you thought I didn't like you, but that's not the case. You've always been nice to me and I am flattered that you like me that much, but my life is a bit complicated right now and I'm not ready for a relationship. That said, keep your hopes up. You never know.

Mystery Girl: I understand.

S.T.: That being said, to prove that whether things go well or not, that I still care, I have been holding onto this.

S.T. reaches into his pocket and pulls out the costume earing from Halloween. The Mystery Girl is so over joyed she tackles him in a hug before leaving to go about her day.

Light: Wow, I didn't know you had that in you.

S.T.: Well who knows, maybe she could be the one.

Harmony: Ya. It's like she was made for you or something.

An alert on their watches beeps Harmony looks.

Harmony: Oh shit. Uh S.T., you're gonna want to know this.

S.T.: What is it?

Light: You basically wooed an elite member of Dark Divide. She's the Deadly Demoness.

S.T.: Oh shit. I heard about her, she's beautiful, deadly and lives by her own standards of moralities. Even Dark was afraid of unleashing her. Makes sense she's moonlighting as a working girl. It'd be the best way to infiltrate people's homes. Someone must have tipped her off about me. Still it's strange.

Harmony: What is it?

S.T.: Maybe it's because I am realizing my own feelings for her, but I don't sense evil off her. I seen her in public. She even handed us Keto bars at one point. Granted she flies off the handle, but she is an overall nice person. Maybe she had to do what she did to survive this city. I get the feeling we stumbled upon a bigger mystery.

To be continued....

In my own life both here and outside the net, I went through what most people would describe a roller-coaster. I had my ups and downs. Mostly downs, but I managed to climb, fight, yell and scream my way up, just to get to the upsides of life. That being said, I was glad I was able to make it near the end of this month. As January goes to a close, I learned a lot of life lessons. Lessons in how to deal with drama, lessons in how to navigate through my life somewhat unscathed, most importantly, lessons on how to not give up on the important things in life. Life has put me through a massive ringer and yet despite how nice or how mean I get after, I am still alive, still standing, still determined to weed through the depths of Hell itself, just to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Someone very special to me told me one of the secrets to doing so. She said the following words:

BE YOU.

So it allowed me to reflect on my own life a little to see what she meant, but then I realized. No matter where I go, no matter what I do, no matter if the world likes me or hates me, the one thing they can't take away is the fact that I'm Me.

A lot of us, often put an image of ourselves that seems cool at first, but all it is, is a mask. Deep down, we are really something most societies don't want us to be. So to blend in and survive regardless of what side of the law you are on, we create an image for ourselves. Me, although I can practice what I preach, I come across as a tough guy, that fights for good causes and doesn't take shit from anyone. However while it has helped me on occasion, part of why I was failing in life, was because it wasn't all me. Deep down, I've always been a lost and lonely little boy, looking for people to accept me for who I am. However, it's not easy when modern worlds try to tell you who you are, rather than ask you who you are.

To all those younger than me, I plead. Don't define yourself with an image alone. Define yourself by being you.

Take care, Stay Safe and Stay Tuned For More.

Follow up to this:

Fight With Your Heart, Not Your Fist

Although I still stand by this article, there was often one rule in terms of fighting in general, that I and most people often overlook.

Part of the reason why I became addicted to all kinds of confrontations and the rage that ensued, despite me not wanting it to happen, was because at the time I didn't know humility as much. In High School I tried and succeeded in going through all 4 years without ever getting into a single fist fight, only limit myself to verbal confrontations. However, my biggest problem, regarding fights of all kinds is that even if I don't start them I don't back down from a challenge and when I get into it, even when my own friends and family beg me not to, I don't often know when to stop. It wasn't until I realized that my enemies were already dying by their own hands, in one way or another, that I finally knew when to stop. For context, a close relative of mine. Who was a friend one moment and an enemy the next, did something so nasty to me due to desperation and addiction, that I never wanted to see him again when he was at his worst. I basically unintentionally left him to rot in his own misery and eventually he died. And while the death saddened, me, it didn't hurt me as much as it would if I lost someone I cared more about, like my mother. I thought it was just me being in the denial stage of grief, but then I realized, it was because I was free of the bullshit he dragged into my life. While I was sad he was gone at the same time, I was relieved. Like I was finally free of a chain in my life that was dragging me down.

It wasn't until now that I realized it, when I had confrontations recently. Part of my anger at certain people, is because they remind me of the monster said relative was. That he wasn't the only one that was like that and it was mostly because of severe substance abuse mix with an over abundance of pride and envy. At the time with my relative, I unintentionally did that, not knowing it'd be the last I see him again. However in this case, regarding these people, I'm about to do it intentionally. The last time I confronted one of these disgusting, high school, pedophilic, racist pigs, I noticed something stranger than usual about him. His face was sinking into itself. He was getting paler, his eyes were blood shot, his pupils were out of wack and unlike other times he threatened me, he had nothing to say to me. This man spread false rumours of me being a racist pedophile, the very thing the man is, behind my back, because he was afraid to keep saying it to my face. He was known as a baiter bully, he would say anything that would goad people into hitting him, so that he could "Defend" himself and have them charged or worse, beaten to death if he had the balls to do so. Now the stuff he said as nasty as it was and how much I hate being called that despite not being it, obvious bait. Now on the surface, being called that would goad anyone into a fist fight whether they are or not. But to a bully, punching them in the face for specific insults regardless if they are true or not, would be confirmation for them, because normally they themselves would react that way being called it. These were smart bullies because rather than go about it like that, they would instead try to hurt me in other ways, including but not limited to, turning others against me. Once I realized that, I said my piece to those that believed the bullshit and moved on and it made me think of how I left my relative to rot. It used to be a regret, but then it became a weapon.

When I noticed that specific person was sick and I knew what it was. For context, even before I moved to the area, these people spend their days and nights, drinking excessively, doing various amount of drugs and spending their energy listening to loud music that disrupts the rest of the community, yelling over said music to talk to each other and terrorizing their punching bag of the day. Now on the surface that would make even the most law abiding citizen want to snap and beat the shit out of them, just to keep the noise down, let alone the shit these people did. However, on top of it not worth going to jail over, however just I am, it made me look at it through a different perspective. They're drinking excessively, doing various drugs, even pigging out on junk food on the odd occasion and expending energy pointlessly through yelling a lot. Now me, at my worst I do scream a lot, but at the same time, I always keep it short, say my piece and still move on no matter how vulgar it gets, but when I say someone else yells too much, then you know it's more serious. But essentially it shows in every possible way, that they're physically dying. For starters, excessive drug use, especially hard drugs like coke, crack, meth, heroin, morphine, opium, opiods, do a lot of damage to the body and mind. So that's deteriorating slowly. Alcohol does the same, but also damages the liver, making one more likely to succumb to the poisonous effects. They're well past 40 years old, the time where old injuries start catching up and stress in general puts more of a strain on the heart. Their yelling puts more strain on the heart, because they don't stop. And to top it off, my confrontations with them, through loud intimidating noise and a venom tongue, despite their claims otherwise, has wormed it's way into their psyche. Even if they don't want to have a problem with me or pretend I didn't exist, that one part they hate and fear about me is living rent free in their head. Causing more stress on top of the other ailments. Not even ruling out the possibilities they have life threatening diseases on top of that, such as cancer, high cholesterol and other permanent fatal ailments. Not that I wish for that, but it's a possibility. So they're literally dying of a short lifespan.

It made me realize that no matter how much I or anyone of my position hurt or scare them, they won't give up trying to get me one way or another, because as long as they have my attention, they have the satisfaction of someone to drag with them as they die. When I realized that and how it seemed at least in my belief that my relative's death prepared me for a moment like this, something finally clicked.

Part of why I couldn't stop fighting, is that I view some aspects of life including drama and fights like a game. Mostly Chess or some RPG Strategy. At first I was supposed to stop that mindset as it's reality not a game. However, I was thinking about it wrong, because even when I tried to face reality, things kept pulling me back into said game. Then I realized there was one aspect of gaming, the humility I lacked, because I hated to lose games in general.

The Only Winning Move Is Not To Play

So that's what I decided to do. Starting today, I am gonna at least spend a few days, trying to ignore these fucks. Maybe periodically check in on them in passing, to see if they're still rotting. Other than that, I don't see them, speak to them or be in the same area as them. I realized today, there are many spots I could go to, from Libraries, to stores, to friend's places, to family places or even sight seeing in some public park. It's what got my mind off this net drama, so why should real life drama be any different. Basically I am gonna do my best to live my life how I want it, without them even being a part of it. Part of me wanted to save these people from their inevitable demise but a wise man once said:

"I Won't Kill You, But I Don't Have To Save You"

If I'm right then they will destroy themselves in the days to come. They'll either die where they stand or in some hospital somewhere. It's one of the downfalls of heroism. You can't save everyone. That said, you don't have to either. Once you realize the badness in your life is not worth your time and energy. That you have more better or important things to do, than to deal with that bullshit, that's when you're finally free.

Me. It took me nearly losing people I love, to make me realize that they were the important things in my life. That even when I was knee deep in bullshit drama, I was still fighting with their interests in heart. Only to find that some battles are not worth fighting for at all, when the enemy has already lost and is just acting they way they are, because they don't give a shit about life anymore. Now that their's are slowly ending. And while my circumstances are a little different from others, the Aesop is still the same. Some evils can be fought with fists and with heart. However others, need a special weapon to end it all. My weapon is pacifism and a clear goal in mind. And most people thought it was a pussy move. No. It takes a stronger person to walk away from a fight than it does for someone to start from. That's why I block people I argue with, not because I feel I'm right or wrong, but because I realize it's not worth fighting more about, when it's clear they stick to their own perspective of me.

So I ask of you, even if you want to hurt the people that wronged you and you're well justified in doing it. Yet doing so would cost you a future, you worked so hard to build out of sheer pride. Was it worth it?

It took me 26 years to realize it wasn't worth it. I expect you all to learn that lesson faster.

Take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.