00:00
00:00
CIEIRMusic
Amateur Filmmaker, Author, Cartoonist, Musician and defictionalizer (Finding truth in fiction), mostly here to promote my music to indie developers that need it.

S.T. Musician @CIEIRMusic

Age 32, Male

Part Time Musician,

High School Graduate/Self Taug

Parts Unknown

Joined on 12/13/20

Level:
24
Exp Points:
5,936 / 6,400
Exp Rank:
7,420
Vote Power:
6.54 votes
Audio Scouts
10+
Rank:
Civilian
Global Rank:
> 100,000
Blams:
0
Saves:
27
B/P Bonus:
0%
Whistle:
Normal
Medals:
82
Supporter:
1m

CIEIRMusic's News

Posted by CIEIRMusic - August 13th, 2023


Well once again I have come to post more about my small crazy idea. At this point I'm sure some have gotten bored of me talking about it so much. Just kidding.


Anywho picking up where this left off:

Smaller follow up to Small Crazy Idea


After a few days of making and periodically drinking my health drink both with my EMS sessions and with my overall every day life, I've noticed a significant change in myself. While it will be a while until I know this stuff will affect my physical body in terms of muscle building, keeping my blood clean and burning off my fat, I have noticed a major change.


Now as you know when I made the CIEIR potion it accidentally lowered my cravings for cigarettes. But it only worked so well on it's own. I continue to smoke just to see how much it works, but that said recently and I think it's because I mixed it with the EMS sessions, I've got no cravings for smokes whatsoever. Not even in high stress situations. Now I still do smoke, but now I know that this stuff does indeed work. It'll be a while before I officially decide to quit, but rest assured, it wasn't for nothing. As I said in the past regarding the Covid Vaccine I am willing to put my life and health on the line to help others and I can honestly say so far, it's doing pretty well so far.


Which in turn gives me hope that the other things I intend to do with it, may also work if I keep going.


So I can safely say at least for now:


Mission Complete



Tags:

2

Posted by CIEIRMusic - August 10th, 2023


The following takes place after:

The Adventures of S.T. Musician: Expanding.


Harmony: I'm really worried about S.T. he's not himself.

Light: I'm pretty sure he's just in one of his moods. I mean can you blame him? Divide shot him.

Harmony: Don't remind me, I almost ate that bitch alive. By the way I been meaning to ask, was that the only time I acted like that?

Light: Not quite. Remember when our urchin work was running dry? I had to break my oath and steal for you, just to get you something to eat.

Harmony: I remember that. You stole a whole 5 pound salami and some bread. We had sandwiches that day.

Light: Ya, well that shop happened to belong to a local Sicilian mob boss. Leo Antonio.

Harmony: Oh ya. Now I remember. Leo the Hacksaw. His specialty was chopping up his victims and stacking their limbs like they were house frames. Whatever happened to that guy?

Light: You ripped his eyes out and bit his dick off.

Harmony: Gross. What did he do to piss me off?

Light: He threatened to chop me up and feed me to you. Took a piece of my skin off my arm with a knife, he called The Sampler. Once you tasted my blood you went berserk. You scratched up his top guy and you just went completely feral on Leo. Leo feared no one. Not even S.T. could scare him sometime. Yet when you bit off his salami he begged for his mother. It was his capos that tried to hunt us down when S.T. rescued us. Even the cops were on his payroll. S.T. has been keeping a file on that guy for years and yet he doesn't even have the motivation to go after his empire.

Harmony: Damn. I barely remember any of it. Still. I'm guessing after defeating Dark Divide that petty thugs are not challenging enough for him.

Light: He's just stuck in a rut. It is our job as his partners and surrogate family to get him out of it.

Harmony: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Light: I think so Harmony, but how are we gonna get enough weed to help him with that?

Harmony: NO! Not that.....we'll do that later. We need to do something that will get him into the fighting spirit.

Light: You don't mean......

Harmony: Oh ya.

Light Harmony: TRAINING MONTAGE!!


3 Hours Later


S.T. Musician: I don't know if that would work guys, besides don't we need some kickass training music?


Light Harmony: We got that covered.



And with that. S.T. had the most rigorous training in all of existence, including but not limited to sparring matches with Light Harmony. To try to revigorate S.T.'s spirits they shove everything he has on Leo the Hacksaw's file in his face. Making him angry and more determined to fight. He got lost in the moment and accidentally hit Harmony so hard that she went 10 feet across the training ground.


Light: Oh shit, we went too far. Harmony are you ok?

Harmony: *Stars are flying over her head.* Hello and welcome to CIEIR Music, we are unavailable to take your call right now. Please leave a message. *Shakes her head and growls at S.T.* That fucking hurt......do it again.

S.T.: Whoa Harmony I ain't about that.

Light: Jesus Sister, I thought you got over that.

Harmony: It's ok I was joking. I'm glad that part of you hasn't changed. Feel better now?

S.T.: I must admit ever since we started this our main objective was to rid the world of all Evil. Not an easy feat, but after stopping Dark Divide, I felt I lost the edge.

Harmony: It's just post saviour blues Shane. Besides, we still need to take care of these threats. You may have started this out of sheer boredom, but look what we accomplished. one of your songs got the front page, your fan count continues to increase despite all we and our creator go through. Your music is on the verge of being used by an entertainer that we will continue to wait for as long as it takes. We don't just quit when the most powerful villains are behind bars. We quit when all evil is taken care of. Big or small.

S.T. Musician: You're right Harmony. It's high time we take care of these fuckers once and for all.


And with that, CIEIR Music is back and better than ever. Their next target. Leo The Hacksaw.


Obnoxious Audience Member: Um, how is it that they were able to use S.T.'s voice when S.T. wasn't around?

Harmony: Allow me to answer that one. Fuck you.

Light: We broken the fourth wall the past two stories and that's what you're questioning?

S.T.: It's ok I got this. First off, our creator is able to do things to aid on our characters from time to time. Our creator was basically symbolizing my struggle by making me help myself. So he took my voice and recorded the vocals and gave them to Light Harmony whom did the instruments.

Obnoxious Audience Member: Well gee that's stupid and convoluted.

S.T.: Ya well like Harmony said. Fuck you.

Obnoxious Audience Member: Well fuck you too. I'm outta here.

S.T.: Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. Well I think we shattered the fourth wall at this point. Take care, stay safe and always remember. Even if you're feeling Bluesy, you are not alone.


Tags:

Posted by CIEIRMusic - August 10th, 2023


Wow I never thought I'd make it this far:


First of all, I want to apologize to my fans for taking this long to make another song while I've been trying to keep you entertained through audios like this:


As well as updating on my small crazy idea.


Part of it was still trying to get to know my keyboard. Doing some practice plays on it so I can get used to using it. As well as discovering that I could use it to better write my songs by ear. Up until I tried it out I had no idea that was possible. It looked like something out of the scene from Drumline. You know the one. Where Devon and Sean get into a drum battle and they inadvertently left their transcribe on. Which in turn creates a beat that combines old school with modern.


And part of it was trying to come up with a song that would combine all that I learned so far.


No word of a lie. The singing part was the hardest, not because I can't sing, but I'm still new to editing and it's hard to sing when you want to record the audio separately. That said on my second attempt at singing I didn't do perfect, but in my own opinion I did a lot better than I did with this:


But don't take my own word for it. Listen, vote and judge for yourself. Even give me some pointers on how I can improve myself.


I been through a hell of a rollercoaster of a ride last July to this August both in my personal and professional life. A few days ago it would have been a year since I got my own new place and now I feel more confident and pissed off (in a good way) than ever. I would like to thank both my fans, friends and hell I'll even mention my worst enemies for helping me get this far. If not for you, I wouldn't have made it this far.


Take care, stay safe.


Tags:

3

Posted by CIEIRMusic - August 9th, 2023


Picking up where this left off:

Follow Up to Small Crazy Idea Stage Two


I had to take a break from the EMS Machine for a while because the second setting for lack of a better word fucked up my abdominal muscles for a while, it's not bad, but it hurt like hell and I waited a couple days to recover. On top of going on vacation last weekend to celebrate the Civic Holiday. But the recovery helped aid in increasing my strength.


But I'm back to it now. I just have to keep it steady until I get used to something strenuous.


Let that be a lesson kids, never push your limits if you can't recover from them.


Tags:

Posted by CIEIRMusic - August 1st, 2023


Small follow up to my last post: Small Crazy Idea Stage Two


As you know I've been for as of now, the past few days I've been combining my CIEIR Potion with Electric Muscle Stimulation treatments.


First and foremost I will advise you never to undergo this particular treatment unless you really know what you are doing and I do not encourage kids to use it, even with parental supervision. As this is a dangerous electrical device and you could risk injury and even death. Wait until you're old enough to use this thing.


With that being said, I wanted to tell you my results so far. I've used the device this way:


A different setting a week, 3 times a day every day. Starting with the first setting.


Now save for the battery eventual dying there weren't many things wrong. Spent a week on the first setting which shook my muscles. And I'm currently doing the second setting which squeezes them. Yesterday though I felt as though I got punched in the stomach 100 times in 30 minutes. As a result my arms feel stronger and my core feels tougher, but I won't lie to you:


It hurts like Hell!


It's not so much the electric shocks that do it but the aftermath. Whether you do it this way or decide "Fuck it, I'm gonna do 100 sit ups a day." and have little to no muscle strength in your abs to begin with, those muscles react no different than when someone lifts one too many weights. They strain, they tighten, they rip and they heal. It's one of the reasons why so many unfit people are inclined not to get fit in the first place, they simply cannot stand the physical pain and stress that comes with it.


That being said, the results are looking good so far. My arms and core are getting stronger and who knows. I might not get a six pack, but I'll have strong enough muscles to tank many hits. The formula reacts very well to it as well.


Will update on this soon.


Tags:

1

Posted by CIEIRMusic - July 25th, 2023


Picking up where this left off:

https://cieirmusic.newgrounds.com/news/post/1368129


As of now I have not thought of anything to add to my famous CIEIR Potion. An idea that I've invested so much into that I even made a small playlist of songs that is a fictionalized account of how it was made, within the CIEIR Lore.


But to recap, the formula I am currently using is Green Tea (Until I get some white tea again) for weight loss and natural stimulation. Chlorophyll for detox and killing addiction. Peppermint tea to lower stress. Gatorade Mix for flavoring and rehydration.


Because it seems to work out pretty well especially considering the successful test I made when I was working. So I upped the dose.


iu_1032183_8383057.webp


Rather than 4 bags of green and 4 bags of peppermint I put 8 bags each. I advise people not to do this at home unless you really really


REALLLY!!


Know what you're doing.


And as you can see I was able to make enough to put in my container, a 1L glass bottle, a 500 ML Mason Jar and two standard beer/classic pop bottles. I'm doing it this way, because I was partially inspired by Legend of Zelda where there are different sized bottles for the amount of potions or drinks you can contain. But there's a reason why I made a stronger version of this. For you see I got inspired by work for this.


When using a gas powered Lawnmower for the first time since I was a kid, I noticed that the vibrations of the mower shaking my body. Specifically my arms and my core. As a result of say 4 to 6 hours of going house to house mowing lawns, toppled with sweating under the hot sun last June and May, caused a significant loss of weight. However not everyone has access to a lawnmower, so drinking this stuff and mowing lawns wouldn't be viable option.


Now if only there was some way to recreate that vibration at the comfort of my own home. Well a few days ago I found my answer:


iu_1032184_8383057.webp

This is an EMS Machine. EMS being short for Electrical Muscle Stimulator. Devices that send powerful electric shocks to the muscles to either build them up or relieve their pain. As you can see, there are two for my arms and one for my abdomen.


Now contrary to what people say such as "You're full of shit, this does not work. That's just stuff you bought from a crappy commercial." And most of the time, you'd be right. As this was cheap. I got it for $20 CAD in Walmart. However what those complaining fail to realize is that some of the customer complaints are from fat and lazy people that saw this as an alternative to exercise and quit when it became too much. In my case I used these before, I know they work and the only reason I didn't use them until now other than them being expensive at the time is because I was too lazy to replace the gel pads. Much like exercise, a device like this requires consistency. As long as you use it every day, properly, it should work.


That being said, exercising my muscles was just the tip of the iceberg for this.


Since last friday I've used this as well as used my formula as a recovery drink as well as some form of protein to feed the muscles. Be it meats, whey, pasta or cheese, to name a few.


The first day I only used the machine to get used to it again. Without drinking the potion. The next few days while drinking it, I've noticed a huge tight pain in my ab muscles. The universal sign that they are working. As I write this article it will have been 5 days since I did this. With last night restocking my formula. My guess is that the electricity in the EMS is not just stimulating my muscles but reacting to the formula as the Gatorade mix provides electrolytes and electrolytes both edible and inedible conduct electricity. But I could be wrong. That said, muscle pain doesn't lie and like the man says:


No Pain No Gain!!


My plan for stage 2 is simple. I'm gonna do every setting on that machine. One setting 3 times a day at varying intensity each week, then recover. Right now I'm on setting 1.


Also while this was inspired by the effects of a lawnmower, I noticed the parallels between this and the story of Captain America:


The EMS are my vita rays. That said, this is merely what I'm doing. I'm pretty sure there are others, who could have the same effect of just plain old fashioned exercise or good old manual labor.


That said, this has stage two of my small crazy idea. I just drank my potion not too long after I wrote this and since I feel too sore to type, needless to say it's working.


Though with the pain I'm feeling it reminds me of this scene:


Although this seemed like a hybrid between EMS and Acupuncture.



Tags:

1

Posted by CIEIRMusic - July 24th, 2023


The following takes place not too long after this got posted:


Harmony: Really? Really S.T.? You did a rap.

S.T.: Yes Harmony, I did a rap.

Harmony: ........REALLY!?

Light: Easy there Harmony. Sorry S.T., it's not that we don't agree with how you handle the music, but we just don't see how after years of Synth, Orchestral and occasional Rock Music, that you'd just do rap. Granted someone liked it otherwise you wouldn't have gotten a vote. What were you thinking?

S.T.: Well as a musician, I wanted to try new things see if it'd stick. Like when I did those royalty free video game albums. Plus our creator bought a keyboard to help expand on his work and is slowly on the verge of completing his soundproof booth.

Light: Stop breaking the fourth wall S.T.

S.T.: The other reason is, well. Today's rap kinda sucks. When I was a kid, Rap was either about Comedy, Love, Gangster Stuff and whatever fucked up things Eminem could come up with to further shock the world at the time. Now the old timers are beginning to lose their edge and any amateur with Autotune and FL Studio thinks they're on the same league as them when every single lyric they write pretty much says "Buy my shit or I'll kill you." I may not be good at it myself, but I at least know the difference between good music and shitty music. It doesn't take a great musician to recognize bad ones.

Harmony: I guess that's understandable. A lot of the Genres have been taking nose dives because either the greats are dead or too rich to care anymore. Granted there are some out there that do their thing for a good cause like Live Aid. Does this mean you're giving up on music?

S.T.: Fuck no. If anything it makes me want to keep going. People have to point this stuff out. We're not saying we need to go back to old school or even eliminate new stuff in general, but we need to bring back the very thing that makes music what it is. The heart and soul of the musician.

Light: You swore we'd never speak of that.

S.T.: Well it's safe to say it needs to be spoken. Not everyone likes our music. Hell not everyone likes the guy that created us. But we at least worked hard on our stuff. We never got a free ride on everything. We put our hearts and our souls into every piece of music we create and regardless of how much the odds are against us, we don't give up. We try new things to show that we're still around. We see what people think, but weigh in on whether or not we should care. A lot of modern musicians nowadays are using AI, to "Improve" on their work when in actuality, the AI functions as the digital equivalent to the Nerd helping the Jock finish their homework for them. At least when our creator uses Alter Ego for your voices, he writes his own lyrics. Even if they don't rhyme all the time or sync well. The heart and soul of music is gonna die if we don't resolve this now.


So I say to you all? What would be a good way of bringing the heart and soul back to music?


Harmony: .......you know that while we're aware there's an audience out there, that as far as this universe is concerend you're just talking to a random wall right?


Light: Forget it Harmony, I honestly think he's gone fucking nuts this time.


Tags:

1

Posted by CIEIRMusic - July 22nd, 2023


Over the years we all consumed various media. Specifically movies, tv shows, games, books. Things like that. And as a result of shaping our identities whether we know it or not we taken our cues from certain characters of those works. Mainly because something about them clicks. Be it hero, villain or supporting characters like parents, siblings, friends and that occasional wise character that pops up with few words, but sophisticated words, there is always something about them that we can relate to. So I decided to list some from each category that I can relate to. Now before I say mine, just so you know. The characters don't have to be the same sex as you, the same race as you, the same religion as you or even the same name as you. They merely have to be characters you've watched, played or read over the years that seem to click with you.


Books


Ponyboy Curtis, The Outsiders:

Now when people watch The Outsiders they'll automatically say Darry or Dallas because they're tough motherfuckers. Or they'd pick Johnny because he was cute. However if I am being honest with myself I relate more to Ponyboy. I grew up in a tough neighborhood. I wasn't as brave or outspoken or even remotely controversial as most of you see me now. I much like Ponyboy was an innocent kid whom would have gotten a better life had things not go so horribly wrong. And much like him I get caught up in shit that shouldn't even have anything to do with me. Much like him I've lost friends over the years as well. Through disagreements, our own personal problems or even death. Yet despite all that, much like him I am optimistic in that things may end up being ok. In case people wondered what happened to him. He was the lucky greaser that got out. Not many of us, are that lucky.



Harry James Potter......Harry Potter series:

Say what you will about Rowling but you cannot deny when it comes to writing characters like Harry, Ron, Hermione, Snape and the other billions that are now scattered in the Potterverse, she knew her stuff. However if I'm being honest with myself I relate to Harry Potter. Not the famous Harry Potter or the badass Auror wizard he came to be. I'm talking before all that. He was an outcast, not just because of the magic moments dismissed as him being an odd child, but up until he met Ron and Hermione, Harry was treated like a freak simply for existing. Which is something we all could relate to.


Comics:



Rachel Roth aka Raven Teen Titans:

Not a specific one, but all of them. Many people don't realize that the snarky demon witch we know and love was mostly the result of the 2003 series and it's comedic spin-off Go. Anyone that's ever read the comics would know that Raven was more than just attitude and magic. For a brief history lesson. Raven born Rachel Roth, was the result of every bad thing you could throw at someone at once. She was conceived in Gotham City, that's bad enough. Her mother Angela Roth aka Arella, was a suicidal teenage outcast that wanted to look for a place to fit in, fell in with the wrong crowd, met a certain kind of man whom seemed charming at first, but then turned out to be rapist. Now that would have just been typical Gotham City even with Superbeings around. But said rapist turned out to be one of DC's famous incarnations of the Devil before Lucifer Morningstar stole that spotlight. Trigon the Terrible. As a result Raven was born half demon and considered an outcast by an entire universe. The Monks of Azarath save for Azar were afraid of her. Her mother wanted to kill her and herself when she realized what Trigon wanted her for. Even the Justice League of America refused to help her because Zatanna who was leader at the time judged her by her origin. Yet despite all that and a few slip ups, Raven still strived to do good in hopes it would make up for the bad Trigon would wrought. Raven was created because Wolfman-Perez wanted a character that was born of the worst of Evils, yet never let it define them. I myself grew up in a place that would give Hell a run for their money and save for a few fights I try to do good myself. The key word try, jury's out if some of you fuckers still think I'm an evil bastard.


Movies:



Marty McFly Back To The Future:

Part of the reason why I wanted to do music was because of this man. Part of the reason why I don't question inter-generational friendships unless there was a very good reason to, was because of his own relationship with Doc Brown. We all started as Martys and as we aged we became Docs in are own way. But most of all, it's because we're very much alike. Despite having courage, selflessness and a determination to do the right thing, Marty is insecure, has faults and let's his emotions get the better of him. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if even now despite the movie being dated in 1985, that you all could find something about Marty you can relate to.


Video Games:



Link, The Legend of Zelda Series:

While any Nintendo Character would do as I believe that they are mostly average ordinary people whom have been blasted into an extraordinary circumstances I picked Link for 3 reasons.

  1. The first time I caught a glimpse of the Zelda games was when I watched the epic trailer for Ocarina of Time. But it was Link to The Past that gave my first foray. However if I have to pick a fave it's between Twilight Princess and Skyward Sword. Because in that I'm actually fighting as Link using the Wii Mote. Plus Skyward Sword was the last gift my mother gave to me before she died, so there's that.
  2. As a kid I didn't talk much. Even as an adult with this shit aside, in public you'd never see me talk much. I thought I was considered a freak for that. But Link, save for the options you give him, never speaks at all. And no that crappy cartoon does not count and if you do count that, well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me princess.
  3. As I said before with Nintendo Characters I believe that they are ordinary people whom been blasted into extraordinary circumstances. For example. Mario is a handyman and a plumber, yet here he is currently on the big screen fighting monsters to save his brother and Princess Peach. Samus is a Mercenary, Fox is a Soldier and Ness is just a kid. Link has had more jobs than most Nintendo Characters combined from Blacksmith's assistant to rancher and even to this day goes on many epic adventures. I myself have had varying jobs over the years and yet still make time to find some adventure.

TV Shows:



Daria Morgendorffer....Daria:

I was a kid when I first saw this and save for some funny moments I never really got it at the time, due to being a kid. However as I grew up and looked back on it, the show had a lot of surprising moments. Daria started off as a character on the hit MTV show Beavis and Butthead. The famous Anti-Social Antiheroine then went off on her own show. With quirky characters like her best friend Jane Lane, her Sister Quinn, the crazy staff of Lawndale High and the equally stupid student body. Now there's a reason I saved this one for last and I'll tell you why. Over the years, people judged me by the expressions on my face. Mainly because not a lot of people know me or know me well enough to read off me. A little tidbit. Sometimes I go outside alone and sit somewhere to think. And as I think if someone were to pass me by and see my face they'd ask the two words that I hate hearing when they don't mean anything for that moment:

"What's wrong?"

Mainly because they mistook my expression for sadness. For the longest time I never ever understood why my face acted like that. Until I saw the episode "The Misery Chick".


For context, the Misery Chick is about a Lawndale High Football Player Tommy Sherman, who was revered by the school and considered a living legend by our lovably stupid QB Kevin Thompson. However when Daria first witnesses his antics all over the school, which range from Racism, Sexism and just outright rudeness. Daria of course using her trademark snark, tells the bastard off which leads to this exchange.

Tommy Sherman: Do you know who I am? Tommy Sherman?

Daria: I know the whole school is turning itself inside out because of some egotistical football player. And I've seen you insult or proposition just about everyone you've come across. So my guess is that you're the football player guy. Congratulations, you must have worked very hard to become such a colossal jerk so quickly.

Tommy Sherman: You know what Tommy Sherman's gonna do now? He's gonna go out onto the football field and check out his new goalpost. He's gonna read the plaque and think about all the people who admire him. But you wouldn't know anything about that. You're one of those "misery chicks," always moping about what a cruel world it is, making a big deal about it so people won't notice you're a loser.


Now granted this would have been brushed off as a typical Daria scenario, but Sherman died not too long after Daria and Jane joked about him dying. Of course the school is in disarray treating him like a hero, Jane distances herself from Daria because she thought Daria was making light of the situation and to top it off everyone goes up to her because they assume she's always miserable and thinks about depressing stuff a lot. Asking her for advice to cope to boot. Eventually Daria snaps and goes to Jane's house to vent and has one of the most Iconic Lines:


Okay, but you know what I've been hearing? "You know how I feel, Daria. You're gloomy. I knew I can talk to you, Daria. You're always miserable." Tragedy hits the school and everyone thinks of me. A popular guy died, and now I'm popular because I'm the misery chick. But I'm not miserable. I'm just not like them. -Daria Morgendorffer


Of course Jane actually does ending up having the answer based on her experience coping with the death.


Jane: It really makes you think.

Daria: Funny. Thanks a lot.

Jane: No! That's why they want to talk to you. When they say, "You're always unhappy, Daria," what they mean is, "You think Daria. I can tell because you don't smile. Now this guy died and it makes me think and that hurts my little head and makes me stop smiling. So, tell me how you cope with thinking all the time, Daria, until I can get back to my normal vegetable state."


That's when it clicked for me. I look like the way I look like because I spent a huge chunk of my life thinking. And as a result it makes me smile less. Once I was able to understand that, the hardest part is trying to explain to others around me about that, when they'd just dismiss me as simply being sad.


There are lot's of others, but maybe next time. Tell me. Which characters can you guys relate to?


Tags:

2

Posted by CIEIRMusic - July 20th, 2023


Over the years, as we grow up, we often have a better or worse understanding of our respective languages. Whether you speak, English, French, Spanish, Japanese or any of the other known languages. You have what is known as proper languages and improper languages aka swearing.


When media entertainment first came a thing with the rise of censorship many artists from painters, to singers, movie stars today, would often do or say jokes that some how get passed the censors using clever wordplay. The biggest offender being Animanaics, due to their trademark of passing off adult humour through kid shows:



Which even WB's more serious kid shows like the DC Animated Universe have taken cues from:


However for at least a century or two, the most popular I've seen of getting away with censorship issues, were the pretend cuss songs.


These were songs, whose lyrics and wordplay are designed to make people think you're gonna hear swearing and dirty words, but then throw off a similar sounding or not so similar sounding words into place. The most popular named Miss Susie:


But there was others like the Old English Folk song, which was adapted by legendary dirty joke artist Bob Saget:


Which unlike Miss Susie, rather than have no swearwords at all, saves one for last.


Then of course there's South Park's version during that Boy Band Episode:


The best part about theses is that you don't need a set tune for them. It could be any melody as long as the lyrics match up with it. I'll even do one.


There once was a man who walked down the block.

Reached in his clothes so he can feel his...

Cockles in his heart from his first sweetheart.

Only to find she was always a....

Tardy young woman, who shows up dates late.

But makes up for it 'cause she likes to get...

Eight chores done all at once before the door.

With patience like his you'd think shes a....

Horrible person with no sense of self.

And if you think this is dirty then go fuck yourself.


Let me know what you come up with.


Tags:

2

Posted by CIEIRMusic - July 20th, 2023


It's been long enough I may as well address the elephant in the room that some people even for the past month still bring up. I thought moving on would get this going but when I saw an article from someone whom basically publically blacklisted me from ever being their follower again. So let me get this straight @cerealgutz. You only hooked up with this guy for a couple of months, yet based on his word I'm a bastard and a pedo defender? I guess all those times you've defended me from that multi-username troll, were fake friend moments too.


As most of you know, I've been falsely labelled a pedo defender, simply because I defended a user by the name of DJElectricJes. From another user, whom shall remain nameless as this person has been given enough attention. And people have taken my words out of context when I've tried to explain them. But now, I think is the time I decide to address everything. And I mean everything based on my decision to defend him.


First of all, little known fact about me, but due to a scam in my town going on, years ago I was falsely accused (Not charged) of sex crimes by random women whom turned out to be con artists trying to play the Badger Game. (Start public fights in hopes their victim pays them to get away from them.) And while I was lucky to leave with my reputation intact, I've known some people. Innocent people whom have been falsely branded for the rest of their life even with the evidence 100% on their side. It's one of the reasons I believe Jes to be innocent, something I will address later in this article. Because should the whole thing turn out to be one misunderstanding and he's cleared of everything, you'd still treat him as if he is one and don't you fucking deny it. It's the same with people accused of rape, sexual harassments and even murder. The innocent don't get to sleep tonight because there are some assholes out there so sour for being wrong that they have to believe the person did it, to validate their claims.


Second of all I followed the whole thing and took statements from all sides even the people that hate my guts. And I've come to the conclusion that you're all guilty. Jes, Joe, Taka, TBerger, Invader Daniel, their supporters and even the person whom you're all claiming to defend against.


First and foremost, the whole thing started because Jes allegedly started an Erotic Roleplay with a minor. When I first heard about it, I thought that was stupid for five reasons.

  1. Evidence of RP aside, there was no evidence of real sexual solicitation (He never asked for nudes, nor asked her address literally factual evidence the person that presented it chose to ignore before I even addressed it.). Nor has he ever done anything like that again as far as I know. You can show me pics otherwise. You guys really need to learn the difference between Roleplaying of any kind (As in work of fiction) and Sexting, Sexual Harassment comments, Coercion and things like that. Because I've been on this net long enough to know, there are people of varying ages going around, doing this crap all the time, be it for sexual reasons or for an elaborate sick joke. And the only reason why you swarm on the one that got caught, is so you don't get caught. Which is why so many of Joe's lewd comments and his threaten to rape me on the DMs didn't faze me. Because for all I know, he, Taka and a bunch of others have solicited people be it for pranks or some sick sexual fetish they collectively get off on. Assuming these people are kids as they claim to be. Ya I'm still backing that horse. Point being is that a Roleplay could be anything from two writers collabing on a fiction or playing an elaborate game like one of many Dungeons and Dragons roles. In this case at least from what I've heard, Jes didn't even mean anything remotely sexual about it, he thought he was helping out a friend. Whether you chose to believe that or not, your decision, I just go from what I've heard and piece my own conclusions based on that. And from what I've concluded the user in question asking Jes rather than the other way around, is a possibility and the only reason why people ignore it is because said user happens to be years younger than the accused. No one ever seen movies like Crush or Orphan? If you thought Pedophilia is sick, imagine how sick you must feel when you find out there are kids into relationships with older people. Point being is that unless all parties speak up, which I know some haven't. We never know the full story behind this. We may never know and up until I decided to address this fully, I never wanted to hear from this crap again, but no. Things always come to fly and hit me in the face. Such as Twitter teasing me about getting my account back even though they suspended me more than once for attacking pedos and pedodefenders myself. As well as a certain user whom I didn't even know had a grudge against me until they hooked up with someone they barely know, whom happens to have a grudge against me. Not to mention finding out that one of my first fans @JackstormYT is a fucking Shota and Lolicon. Whom I've, outed blocked and removed from my follower since. (Update: Speaking of which, WHY THE FUCK IS JACKSTORM STILL HERE!!!? He literally has been caught selling CP and you're all not even suspending him. But I guess that's how it goes. Actual pedos seemed to be exempt than mere accusation. fucking hypocrites.)
  2. While I don't think he's a pedophile, I do believe what Jes did was stupid, that hiding it was stupid too. Hell when this first happened, I was originally gonna distance against him. The idea being that unless proven innocent I don't speak to him ever, but to my shock, unlike some people out here (That's right Jack I mean you too.) he flat out told me what he did. He admitted it and owned up to it. And after thoroughly chewing him out over how stupid what he did was, on top of Joe trying to label the entire Autistic community over his actions, I had enough. I got into the fight and as a result I lost fans and friends over it, be it them being banned for backing me up, defending Jes or going against me because I happen to take the side they didn't. You guys are trashing me thinking I defend Jes 100% when in fact I don't. I don't think what he did was right, merely blown out of proportion. We live in a world where we literally have to watch what we do or what we say because some overtly sensitive crybabies would take a word like "Apple" and make a long winded rant about how that word supports, Rape, Pedophilia and Racism.
  3. Ye who accuse is often likely ye who is. While InvaderDaniel was the one whom provided the screenshots, Joe was the first person to publically made the accusation and for the petty reason of Jes kicking him off his discord. So let me get this straight. I'm an asshole for defending Jes, yet InvaderDaniel, ThisJoe, Taka and a bunch of other assholes whom have a history of making hate posts against those with mental disorders, whom withheld evidence of a possible federal crime until the person they accused slighted them in some way that is petty compared to that. So is that how the net works "Be friends with them, find out their dirty secrets and say nothing until they piss you off."? Good to know because I thought the net was all about uniting the world for the better, bitching about movies and sharing legal porn with one and other. Nice to know I've been wrong the past decades and that people like you are the true faces of justice. YOU MAKE ME FUCKING SICK!!! You can claim I defend pedos all you want, but at least I don't support them until they prove no longer useful. Look at Jack, the moment I found out he was selling Shota and Loli art I gave him the same chance I gave Jes, to tell me why he would do such a thing like that. When I got no answer I gave him the boot and let everyone here know what he is. Does that sound like someone that defends pedos? NO!!
  4. The fact that Jes was still minor. Let's just say, hypothetically you are right. That Jes is a raging pedophile out to go after minors. The legal age of being labelled a pedo in USA Depending on state, is at least 16 and that the party they are after and or involved has to be 5 years younger than them for it to be labelled Pedophilia and Statutory Rape. Jes was 17 which should have gotten him arrested, not outed on Newgrounds arrested and from what I've heard the party that he was with at the time, was 13. That's 4 years younger not 5. So legally speaking, just from that age gap alone he wasn't one. He didn't have sex with or attempted to have sex with this person, didn't ask for nudes or address. Literally everything in the Pedo handbook, that you all overlooked he never did, nor did he repeat his actions. That's my legal stance on this one, but I'm not one to talk legal laws regarding considering that my country for the longest time the Legal Age of Consent used 14, something that disgusted me. Thank god someone corrected that one.
  5. The way you all reacted, was the most disgusting display I have ever bear witness to. The sad part is, I used to be one of you guys. 10 years ago, if I'd have heard what Jes did then and there with all the above aside, I would have been right there with you throwing rocks. But that's the thing about growing up. It allows you to think more. And quite frankly part of the reason why this world is tearing itself apart is because of how easy we all get lulled into bandwagons just or not. Even if Jes was 100% guilty in my eyes, I'd still stop and think because A. I could be wrong. Or B. I'd ruin my life trying to hurt a guy that I barely even know personally. Which you all do all the fucking time. I don't know the first thing about Jes outside this site. For all I know he could be a 60 year old man or a 10 year old boy. So needless to say I'm not gonna attack someone I barely know especially when they never done anything to me. Nor do any of you know the first thing about me on this site. I've only told tidbits of my stories, but if you knew the full story of my life, you'd be begging me for my forgiveness. You think I defend Pedos, based on defending one guy. That says more about you than it does about me because I distinctively recall the world still being divided on Michael Fucking Jackson. And you call me a pedo defender?


Third. Let's just say I am wrong and that Joe really is a kid and not some 30 year old Pedo Loser that gets his kicks attacking autistic kids. What authority does he or his cronies actually have? They aren't cops, they aren't lawyers, they aren't judge or jury. They are nothing more than ordinary people some of which probably been labelled losers IRL whom have nothing to back themselves up with. Not to mention a history of ganging up on people that happen to be different from them and the condescending fake apologies they say so they can continue to harass without shame. I don't buy their stupid act and neither should you if you think you're all so holy.


Fourth, even after I long since moved on from this thing, people still out of nowhere bring it up as if that's the defining quality of my career. The only thing I can gain from that, is the fact that like many Rock Stars before me I got into controversy.


The only thing I ask of you all, is what more do you want from me? Do you want me to just fucking off myself here and now if you think that's how I "Redeem" myself in your eyes? Because there is literally nothing other than what I've said above that I can say or do, that can change everyone's mind. I can't please everyone. I've accepted that fact, since day one of my life. Some people would still label me even if I found out my blood could cure Covid. Just to give a hypothetical example.


I am done, I am past all this and right now I am simply trying to get over some minor writers block to provide my REAL fans some entertainment. I want nothing to do with this bullshit anymore and if you all decide to hassle me over it, fan or enemy alike, I will block you.


For those with a rational mind and a good heart, I am glad you stuck with me. For those whom only followed me just to see if they can have an excuse to unfollow me. You may as well do it now, for I want nothing to do with you. Fuck you.


For the rest, take care, have fun and be safe.


Tags: