Amateur Filmmaker, Author, Cartoonist, Musician and defictionalizer (Finding truth in fiction), mostly here to promote my music to indie developers that need it.
did have some biographical aspects. I won't go into detail on what and why, but the best way to describe it is that I realized in my own personal life, that I've been living in an amalgamation of many fictional mediums. Action, Drama, Fantasy, Science Fiction, Romance, Horror, Fairy Tale and Western, just to name a few. Maybe I'm just going crazy suffering from Truman Show Delusion or maybe I see something most people don't, but it made me realize that a lot of things I went through even in small doses were like something out of books, movies, tv shows and video games to name a few. Even my book incorporates fictional mediums, because like religion, most people dismiss the messages fiction tries to tell us, simply because they don't think it's real. I used to be one of those people. Yet despite that I start noticing things. For example my Small Crazy Idea, I was mostly trying to make something to compensate for lack of nutrition, because I'm a picky eater which leaves me little options other than meat, grains, some veggies, dairy and junk food. But after finding out what it was capable of, I can safely say I basically created a magic potion. To give a glimpse of my personal life, I go around my neighborhood wearing steel toe work boots. Both for personal protection, safety equipment if one needed help moving something heavy and most importantly to increase the weight, ever so slightly to add some resistance to my walking, wherever I go. Even on leisurely walks, which I love to take, no matter the weather. For the past 2, soon to be three months, I was able to go from 255 pounds to 220 pounds. I basically lost 35 pounds without even noticing. Simply because I was walking around in those shoes as well as carrying other forms of heavy equipment along the way. Including but not limited to carrying heavy cases of beer for a friend of mine. I realized recently it reminded me of two things from the same medium: Dragon Ball. Specifically Goku and Krillin's beginner training delivering milk to the locals. As well as Goku's first time showing that he was wearing weighted clothing, in the iconic match between him and Tienshinhan. Not to mention my potion doubling as a liquid equivalent to a senzu bean.
Much like Goku, if I swapped my boots with running shoes or just go barefoot, I'd probably be able to run so fast, that nobody would catch me. Even a big guy like myself can run pretty fast already, but with less weight and more muscle, I could probably knock a lot of people over, just by running through them. Not to mention I am somewhat adept and martial arts, am one of the few people in my town that at least finished High School and sometimes have a very explosive temper. So needless to say, I basically became a Super Saiyan, without Ki.
Hell I myself witnessed things outside the net that shouldn't even seem possible. Including but not limited to the modern equivalent to fairy tale romances. So it makes me wonder, what is really fake about fiction? The stories are written by people with certain views of the world both idealistic and cynical, they resonate very well with the people that read them even if they have differing views of their own. Which is why so many stories are iconic in the first place. In fact a lot more people are above all else happy simply because they continue to hold these stories in their heart.
Granted we don't see a lot of people shoot magic powers or energy blasts at each other. But that doesn't diminish the message even less.
So what do you think. Have certain aspects of fiction affected your life as well? If so let me know. Until then take care, stay safe and stay tuned for more.
I realized even if only one or two people get my first book, that's good enough, because it helps me judge not the quantity of customers, but the quality. Something I should have learned a long time ago, when I first sold my music in Bandcamp. Doesn't matter if you're a starving artist or an entertainer drowning in money, as long as some people love your work, that's what mattered. I used to believe that before slight greed and insecurity took over me. Not to mention my pension for getting involved in so much drama as well as my baggage, clouding my mind, body and soul from my personal truth.
That said, regarding my book, that was my intention, have at least one person read it and whether they like it or not, that's fine. But if they did like it, they'd tell their circles why they like it and either they'd be interested in reading or tell that person that they and to an extent the author (me) is full of shit. Strangely enough when I wanted to do non-fiction that was the kind of reaction good or bad. One of the few times I would accept criticism without defense because that would be how I reacted if someone else gave me that book 12 years ago. One of the few times a negative moment would make me genuinely laugh.
Anywho. Because I managed to get at least 2 people interested in reading, it's enough to expand on it. I have many ideas for my next book on the subject, but they are more or less a few mental cliff notes. For example I wanted to do further expansion on certain rules. Not just experience, but mainly to dive further into it. For those interested in the rules for context click here. But essentially the rules are rule 5 and 6. #5, Truth is Stranger stranger than fiction. #6, Incorporate your superstitions. Now it's a bit awkward to spoil my own work sometimes, but spoiler alert.
Regarding 5, part of why I originally started CIEIR in the first place, was so that I could find the truth in fictional mediums. Whether it was something small as tech similar to Star Trek (Communicators being the pioneer for Cell Phones) or trying to see if possible certain people existed in real life under different names. So I wanted to dive deeper into the world of fiction and list off all the times they either proved things true or predicted the future. So I may dedicate a chapter or even a book for each rule if I have to for those who like further reading. Including these rules.
Regarding Rule 6, as a joke in the book I made up a superstition based on my own personal life. Has no bearing towards family or friends or even my own superstition. However I also listed some of the known superstitions, just to get people interested in talking about their own or if they had similar. That and recently I've been noticing signs from even older superstitions. Specifically Angel numbers.
Now I find the concept of Angel Numbers as well as Angels is interesting, but for a while I never quite understood the full meaning of them. Despite the Christian name for them, they are well rooted in other religions, including but not limited to Wicca. As the Wiccans often sometimes invoke the Archangelsat all four corners to better invoke the magic in their rituals. In fact, the concept of Angels alone is rather interesting as some would depict them as humanoid beings that bring light and love to those that prayed for them, others try to do a take that is considered biblically accurate. But the one thing that amazes me more than these depictions is that, right down to certain numbers, if feels maybe we been watched in some way or another. Be it by actual divinities or by people whom firmly believe so strongly in them, that right down to the numbers, they'd place them all over all aspects of their life. That only those that believe in it or believe in similar concepts would be able to decode. It's even routed in science because certain numbers mean a lot and be it by coincidence or the divine, end up factoring into various equations and other number related shit that could very well affect your life, whether you're aware or not. Even the very digital clock on your phones, often shows even if they happen to be times on your schedule, they happen to be the right numbers you need to see at the right time to boot. For those that don't remember, back when we relied on Hand Clocks, the clock represents how the world turns. Our planet turns at least 1000 miles per hour. If one were to be able to stand at the right spot for at least 8 hours, morning to night. You'd be able to see the sun rise and set. If you look at it properly, without risking burning your eyes, you'd also notice that it reacts the same way as an hour hand to a clock. With the sun directly over your head signifying High Noon. So 8 x 1000 equals 8000 miles for a third of the day. Whereas in the full day, it's 24 000 miles every 24 hours. With the minute hand and second hand helping you calculate the minutes and seconds it takes for us to spin all the way around. After realizing this myself, the angel numbers on my own clock, started to make more sense to me.
To give a glimpse of my personal and spiritual life, I used to see recurring numbers on a clock. You probably seen these numbers before and either dismissed them as coincidence or if you do believe it's like a sense that depending on the numbers, it could mean something good or something bad. In my case these are the following numbers I see on my clocks or others:
9:11......not that 9/11, but you never know. Considering people think Nostradamus predicted that one.
But to sum it up. They're the most prominent of many Angel Numbers. 1111 meaning you're on the right path. 1234 meaning the universe is aligned with your thoughts and intentions. 911 meaning that your thoughts, actions and decisions. Which as fucked as it sounds explained a whole lot why those guys crashed those towers and the Pentagon. They thought they were serving a higher purpose, but basically interpreted their own messages the wrong way. They picked that date, because they were certain that something was on their side, when in actuality, all it did was prompt the world to take action against them. Showing who's side whatever's up there if anything is.
Anywho, since I was able to figure out the meanings of the numbers, in various aspects of my life, I started seeing more numbers whenever I look at the clock. Many numbers saying I'm going the right direction and since they've worked pretty well so far, I think I'll keep following them.
But that's just one idea for the next book/s.
The others I want to delve into the more pseudo-religions and how fictional fandom could equate to religion. Such as Superfans like the Trekkies and the Warsies. As well as delve into the Anti-Religions, including but not limited to Satanism, mainly to study and see what their worth is and if they're worth putting into the book.
That said, comment below, if you ever seen strange numbers that resonated with your life one way or another. They could be on a clock, a receipt or even two or more random numbers popping up on TV or even the buildings in public. For they could mean a lot of things.
We finally made it. I was out for most of it, but I was in time to see a great display of fireworks.
This would be the time to reflect on the last year, all the ups and downs of your life. To see if things were worth the hardship you all went through over the past 12 months.
Me, despite my ups and downs, I wouldn't take it back for the world. Every bad experience is meant to toughen us up, make us think clearer and learn from past mistakes. Which I have.
I managed to have a rocky yet good year. Managed to sort out a few things in my own life that needed sorting and to top it off, I've been basically more happier than I ever been.
So I wish you all a happy and healthy New Year and to deliver the first day message of this year:
You have the power to seize your own destiny. You have the power to express yourself through your various hobbies and arts. You have the power to either have a lifetime of peace and quiet or take a risky adventure, where the reward outweighs said risk. The possibilities are endless. Go outside, have some fun and above all else, continue being you.
Love all of you, for supporting me in your own way so far. For once I look forward to the future.
First of all, whether you celebrate Christmas or not, I hope you all had a good time on the Holidays. Mainly because, for the first time in my life, I not only had a good time with mine. I have also been able to solve many problems minor and major in my real life. For starters, I was able to find both problems and solutions regarding my own family life. My problem solving intelligence has increased exponentially. Second, I weighed myself for the first time in months and saw how much weight I lost. For context, I used to weigh between 255 to 235 pounds. A small 20 pound difference, based on the ways I changed my diet, exercise and overall lifestyle. However, when I weighed myself I saw that I was recently 220 pounds. So going from my highest weight, I lost 35 pounds. It was all due to changing my diet and simply getting out more. As well as having the motivation and reason for getting out more. Second, while I'm still trying to quit, I found out that after dropping all my baggage, I was able to find the will to cut down. While I was out of town, I was able to smoke at least one or two cigarettes a day before my cravings cropped up. So it proves that Addiction is physical, mental and environmental. And while I got the first two down pat, this was a new surprise for me. It makes sense, because I am out of town at the time and away from the usual stresses of the world. Third, regarding love, let's just say I was scared at first, when it first happened, but there are many reasons that tell me to keep going, both in terms of common interests, including but not limited to, similar spiritual beliefs and having an equally fucked up lifestyle. But overall, I was able to solve a few major issues that make me worry less and get out more.
Anywho, for context, I left my home town for 5 days, to spend time with my family. I got drunk, high, had a lot of great Christmas Presents and was able to let them know I was Ok where I was and at the same time bring some closure in their own lives. Not to mention having many a turkey and ham feast. But basically for the first time in a long while I was able to have fun, relax and unwind, ready to put an end to old troubles and be wary of new, with a clearer, more calmer and focused mind. Now my main focus is on the other aspects. Such as promoting my music, getting out more in my personal life and finding more ways to improve it. I'll never doubt my CIEIR potion again as on top of discovering things about it, I was able to use it as intended. A health drink to compensate the lack of nutritional value in my overall poor diet. Which helped me burn off the remaining fat, clean out my blood and overall restore my body where I am just 10 to 30 pounds away from being officially at a good BMI. I've also cut down on a few other things, such as Booze. My Christmas thing was one last hurrah. And it happened quicker than I thought because I was given a beer I didn't like which turned me off of drinking a little more. The only times I will drink, will be if it's a special occasion. Birthdays, Weddings, Bachelor parties things like that and maybe the occasional contest. But other than that, not for leisure anymore. So if I can quit that, which I never had a problem with to begin with, my smoking will be next.
I also been coming up with new ideas for my brand here as well as ideas in general, after exploring more of my town recently. I'm still promoting my book, because I think it's gonna be the thing that gets me some degree of success. And to top it off, I've realized things in my past, present and even possibly future, that things while they may get rough, they are worth enduring. Just to see if something good turns out about this.
Anywho, take care, stay safe and have a Happy New Year.
It's one of the lessons that took me a long time to accept. It may take just as long, if not longer or maybe even shorter, but I believe that we all will be able to make it in this world one way or another.
No word of a lie, my journey as any can attest to both online and offline was not easy. In fact I think it was probably the hardest thing I ever went through, but that said, I wouldn't change it for the world even if I desired to. Mainly because at the very least to me, I would need the bad events just as much as I need the good ones. No matter how much I want the latter to outweigh the former.
That said, I realized I managed to accomplish a lot in many aspects of my life. Here I proved that my work was worth promoting here, even if things didn't seem to go my way. Because I at least have people whom love it and want to see more of it. In the real world, I was able to reflect on all my life and find ways to atone for my own sins. Both personal and public. As well as look at my past with a better perspective and be more optimistic about the future. Granted, I'm still a bit of a nutcase, but eventually I'll find balance in that too. And in my spiritual life, I found out that my soul despite all I've done, has never been impure. Mainly damaged. And it's taken a long time to peace it back together, but once I did, I was able to make it stronger, more powerful and above all else, everlasting. To the point where I honestly believe that no matter how bad things seem to get in 2023, that 2024 might be different.
It gives us the chance to start over, to teach the next generation, not to make our mistakes and hope to God they listen this time. It gives us the chance to find newer ways of saving our old lives. Most importantly, while it may be a while, I honestly think we just entered the starting line of a new golden age. A future we only dreamed about in Sci-Fi Movies and Cartoon Sitcoms.
For once I'm ready to face what happens next, good and bad. Don't get me wrong, should more bad crop up, it will be painful, but I can fight through it. And so can you. But if the good outweighs the bad this time, then we may be in for one hell of a positive ride.
So in short, be safe, stay tuned for more and have a Very Merry Christmas, The Happiest of Holidays and an extremely happy New Year.
This is S.T. Musician saying "You have the power."
And since I believe in Rule of 3, let's hope a third person gets my book.
First of all, for those that celebrate, Merry Christmas Eve. For the rest, Happy Holidays. The past few months have been a rollercoaster for me, mostly in real life. I took many leaps of faith and managed to land on my feet. Today is no exception. For on this foggy Christmas Eve, I feel the first chapter of my long and strenuous journey has come to a close.
And while things weren't easy, the fact that I made it this far in the magical number 23rd year of the 21st Century, has really paid off in ways I couldn't imagine. Including but not limited to another book sale on this very day:
Now even with the 23 thing in the last article, I thought it was a fluke at first, but the way I see it, the fact that my second sale, has happened on Christmas Eve, is nothing short of a Christmas Miracle on it's own. And it gives me hope that more and more people are gonna get interested in reading this work.
Not to mention the first two countries that ordered it happen to be countries very rooted in religion. With Japan having both Buddhist, Shinto, Confucianism and some Christianity. While Mexico, while the dominant religion is Catholicism, does have some traits of the other known religions. As well as still having great pride and history of what came before it. The Aztecs. So needless to say, slowly but surely, I am reaching out to people with this. And so far even if they disagree, the fact that they went for the book just to read it, with or without cost, is one of the few times it helps work things out.
But that's just a splinter of my overall success. I went on a spiritual journey, that while not over, I managed to accomplish a lot of things out there. I've managed to get the things I always wanted, but never expected to get, one at a time. And now, before I decide to have a long Christmas Vacation, I will pass on a few more words of wisdom.
As most of you know I took a long look at my life. And I realized, not just what my own personal problems were, but also the problems with humanity in general. It seems too good and too simple to be true, but here it is.
Whether I'm online or offline, I've always my whole life have gotten into many fights. Some of which for just reasons. Others mainly because I went over the edge and started fighting and hurting people for no other reason than sadistic joy. This was wrong. I know it's wrong. Yet I couldn't stop. But then I realized why just today.
While it may seem farfetched, but it's not because of what I did good or bad. If anything, all that was, was mainly the result of the aftermath of what it really was, one way or another.
Throughout my whole life whenever I exploded in anger. Be it through text, voice or sometimes even actions (No word of a lie, there was a time when as a kid I physically hurt people violently and ruthlessly whether they deserved it or not.), people have told me it was because I kept things bottled up. Yet, whenever I felt the need to get stuff off my chest, those same people don't want to hear it. Could be friends, family and even total strangers. Why? Because of two reasons, the stuff I vent about, in their eyes bring a negative vibe that they don't want to feel, but most importantly it's because they had the same problem that I had. I even put it into play, both intentionally and unintentionally pissing off those in my circle that didn't agree with me and much like me, they got angry, kept cutting me off mid conversation and when called on certain things even when they were being truthful about what they were saying, accuse me of finding faults in my own point and coming to them to find said faults. However, once we were able to vent out, stop and listen to each other's points and then give feedback, we ended up in better spirits. Why? Because we got that negativity out and letting it go.
So it got me to realize, not just my problems, but the true problem with humanity in general. We have been conditioned to bottle things up, both by ourselves and each other. Different personalities, perspectives and points of view clash, fights happen and when we try to hold back what we really want to say and feel to each other it becomes a pressure gauge kicking into overdrive until it eventually explodes. Making the problem worse than it should have been.
Now there are many ways of getting out anger and negativity in general that do help, unless there are certain complications. Including but not limited to certain disorders.
But while they do help in various ways, to calm the body, calming the mind isn't that easy. Especially considering each mind is unique with their own personalities, insecurities and all around different quirks that force them to bottle things up even well after they used this stuff.
Sometimes even when they tell other people not to bottle things up, they're usually the one's that have things bottled up too, which is both a sympathy and somewhat a hypocrisy. We are encouraged to speak our minds, but when people don't like what we have to say, we either speak louder or shut up and bottle it up even more.
It wasn't until recently, after a few times I've snapped on people, that I realized the problem. We have no place to unload. Whether it's by yourself or with your friends/family or even among total strangers. There is often always someone watching or hearing what people have to say even if it's none of their business sometimes. It makes us more guarded and in turn makes us bottle it up more. You can't even unload at home because you consider the neighbours may either tell you to shut up or call the cops on a noise complaint. That's correct. Even if said yelling isn't the following:
Threats.
Slurs.
Insults.
You literally would get fined or go to jail for unloading. It's almost like something or someone out there is trying to keep us bottled up so that we may one day eventually explode and start killing each other. Wars have been started because of shit like that. Politics have made us turned off on the idea of speaking our mind, because it doesn't matter to the people that run the place and don't agree with you. For a Democracy in North America, it comes across as more like a dictatorship. Because while there are many people in many positions of government that do have somewhat of a say, it all comes down to whether or not the main person agrees to it. Not to mention the many many arguments regarding religion and non-religion. Each side working against one and other, both knowingly and unknowingly pushing each other's buttons, but making sure we keep our damn mouths shut, rather than at least see what it's like on the other side and finding common ground.
It's one of the reasons why people are so addicted to the net. Above all else it allows people to vent and unload on each other anonymously even if they happen to be next door to each other. However, that is not right either. For even if you speak your mind on the net, it does not necessarily mean you can unload your stuff in the real world. And unsurprisingly, that's exactly what's been pissing me off and I'm pretty sure it's been pissing off a lot of others too.
But essentially the idea is that if we don't find ways of catharsis at the very least in small doses and if we don't find ways to unload all that anger, to yell, scream or even fight out the shit we can't get off our chests; we will die faster, younger and to the point where we may go extinct based on our anger alone. After all, people do a lot of stupid shit while they're angry. Present company included.
So my solution messed up as it sounds is a very simple one that even the most non-violent person can even do. Aggressive venting.
By that I mean if you have a verbal or emotional problem you need to let out, regardless how many people tell you not to and even try to talk over you. Let it out no matter how offensive it is, because once you get that off your chest, you're thinking more clearly about your decisions in life, including but not limited to regretting some of the things you said letting out. Because even if you feel right about what you said, you let it out in the open and finally let go of what's been eating at you.
If you have a physical problem you need to let out. Such as including but not limited to wanting to punch a person out. Buy or even better, make a punching bag. The work you put in making it will either ease stress or add more onto it, but that's ok, because you get to let all that stress out by punching it. Then the only thing you need to worry about is whether or not you broke your hand punching too hard.
If you have a specific problem with another person or people. Regardless of the beef and regardless of implications, just let it out. The worst that could happen is that they either try to stop you from talking or fight you if they don't like what you have to say. In that case, if you feel better after saying it, you have feet. You can either walk towards them and fight them or you can walk away from them and leave them to their own devices because at that point, who gives a shit? They have their shit and you have yours, it doesn't have to be both.
But essentially the idea is that you just let it out and be done with it.
That aside there are two very harmless ways of doing this regardless of the situation:
Or you go somewhere where no one can hear you. A park, the woods. Somewhere where there is no one for miles that could hear you. You take everything that's bothering you, let it build up and then release.....in one big primal scream.
Once you do that, the weight completely lifts off your shoulders, and you're able to be more calmer, more collective and thinking more clearly.
The weirdest part is, that people have been doing this, but have never found a proper place to do it. Now you do.
Basically what I am saying is that part of why Humanity has been teetering between Evolution and Extinction, depends on how one handles their emotions. Do you let it bottle up until you explode or do you vent it and give safe release?
Try it out and comment below.
Take care, stay safe and above all else, let loose.
My book which I've linked the amazon pages on my previous newspost. While I have sold books on Amazon before, this was the first time I've ever seen something of mine sell this fast. And while it was sold on the 20th, 3 days ago, I only recently checked my sales report today. So rule of 3 and 23 was at play here.
Most importantly, I don't know who to thank for this, but thank you very much, because you showed me and this site that my stuff is at least worth the price to look at and it gives me hope that my Bandcamp and Ko-Fi, among most of my things get the same luck even if it's small. The way I see it, to make it in this world, you need to start small, even in small sales. And if I, a man whom before used to bitch and complain about my bad luck, could get this kind of luck, it gives hope that anyone whom has ever been in my position.
I would like to also thank whatever is up there, be it God, Higher Power, Diana, YHWH, Mars, Allah, Buddah, The Hindu Deities, Pagan and Wiccan Gods and Goddesses and whatever the Hell I missed. Because this as small as it is, was nothing short of a miracle.
Most importantly I would like to thank my fans for sticking around this long, putting up with my shit throughout it all and above all else, giving me nothing but love and support throughout the whole thing. I said it once and I'll say it again, this would never have happened if it wasn't for you. So do the site equivalent of standing up and taking a bow. WE DID IT!!!
Take care, stay safe and have Happy Holidays not just this year, but the years to come. Also it was during the free promotion, I am glad that worked. Meaning even if it cost nothing, I've basically planted a seed that will grow into one hell of a tree.
Citizens of Newgrounds. I am S.T. Musician. Also known as Shane. For the past few years I've been on this site, I look back at it with a fresh perspective. The stuff I been through bad and good (some mostly more than the other), have been a great learning experience for me. And even to my worst enemies or my best friends on this site and outside, I have you all to thank for guiding me on this journey. That being said there is something I must tell you. Now bear in mind, this is not meant to insult or offend you. This is not my intention. This is not meant to make you quit this site or social media in general if anything it should encourage you to be more active on it, as you never know where you would find inspiration from and this place and many others, despite their faults are still a great way to share them.
However, that does not mean you have to spend your whole life on them. Social Media and other platforms like this are no different than a fantasy world. As I mentioned here, rule #5 states "Truth is Stranger Than Fiction." I always believed that any form of fiction was not encouraging real life events in a bad way, but really mainly being a reflection of reality. While I will still make music and maybe make it to where I can make enough to not only improve my life but also fund the dreams I've been trying to make reality, I must say, staying off this and many sites for a while has done more for me than spending a chunk of my time on them. It gave me time to re-evaluate my life, get out more and see things I wanted to see as I explored my town a little more. And for the most part I accomplished a lot of short, minor, but still personal goals that I wanted to do, but felt obligated to come here instead. But once I was able to get a stable home and a means of staying alive long enough to explore it. I was able to by complete and total accident, find and find out a few more things. For starters, one of the special effects technician for the David Cronenberg hit, Videodrome, lives in my area. So on top of meeting an effects techie from one of my favourite movie, I basically met a man who personally worked with David Cronenberg, James Woods and whomever else was in the movie cast and crew alike. So that was a major scratch on my bucket list. "Meet someone who works in movies. Meet someone who works in movies you've seen. Meet someone who works in movies and is in a position to talk with the main cast and crew." But that was just pure luck, compared to the other things I experienced.
For starters, due to circumstances surrounding my building including but not limited to that fucked up thing I found out, I decided to go out more and explore places in my neighborhood. Partly because I was afraid of going to jail killing this man myself and anyone that stood in my way. For starters when I first moved into the area I went to the local library that was not too far from my place of residence. I put off looking at that, but something told me I had to go there. And I was glad, because when I confirmed a few things while looking for more books to read on my favourite subjects, such as paranormal and astrology, which was what cemented it for me to write this book. As well as heighten my curiosity and explore that side further. As I walked further down, I found what seemed to be stores that were figuratively and literally right up my alley. I also found as I walked further along, one of the local police stations. Now I live in a neighborhood, that if you were caught inside the police station, you better be a cop, desk jockey, visiting your friends in holding, be arrested or be a lawyer, there is only one word they would call you:
It's one of the reasons local citizens seldom call the police. Myself included. It's one of the first rules in surviving cities like that. So needless to say although I couldn't believe it was there, I kept on walking, but before I left I noticed something. That being said, that explains why they hurry quick here, because it's one thing to call 911, it's another when the station is a few blocks away from a crime that can be heard from that far. There was also an EMS logo. Emergency Medical Services. Much like the states, this basically means, Paramedics and other emergency medical stuff. This wasn't just a local police station, it was also a station to park ambulances. Hence why they arrived so quickly whenever something came up in my area. Now I thought that was weird, because I always thought EMS and Police in any part of the world, would be in separate locations even if they were side by side. But then I realized. While people were going about it the wrong way, the police at least in my neck of the woods did listen regarding the safety, health and overall life of whom they're arresting. Now in terms of my views on law enforcement. Here's my summary: I don't like or hate police officers. Some officers in my neighbourhood I've spoken to are nice polite, uniform aside, they're people like me and you. That being said, while I never had it as bad as manyothersin the historyof the world. I have witnessed the nasty side of cops. I won't get into detail of what it is, but take my word for it, it was pretty bad. Me and my family witnessed busts and brutality almost everywhere we went. And that's just the tip of the iceberg of the crime in my town. Some of which even happening to members of my family. As a kid it made me hate them whether people I knew deserved to go to jail or not. I got exposed to shit as a kid, no kid should ever get exposed to.
However, that being said, there are some positives. When I went to the other side of the station and kept moving, I found that there were places I've been before, but just didn't remember at the time. Making my life on the mental side at least, more complete. As a result, new ideas started flooding in, new goals, things that would help me improve on my work either in small doses or one grand thing. As well as finding better ways to achieve other dream goals and life goals.
As a result of this journey as well as many others before it, due to my instinctual need to explore, I was able to find a lot of interesting things. As befitting of one of my favourite Nintendo Characters. I was able to go many places, meet interesting people and while it took only a few years for Link to get where he was, it took me longer. 26 years of my 32 year old life. Soon to be 27 because even with this new lease on life, there will always be a lot to learn and for once I am ready to be taught.
Basically what I am saying is instead of looking at the world through a fucking screen, look at it with your own eyes. At least once and a while. You never know, there are probably places you've never been to or things you never seen, heard, felt, smelled, tasted or touched. It's not too late, you have so much to live for and this is how to live. So what I ask of you is this:
Take the bad with the good, the right with the wrong, because they aren't faults, they're learning experiences and who knows, when you do better your life, it may end up inspiring you if not....just a little more. All it takes is that first step.
Good luck, stay safe and have many wonderful Happy Holidays. And to those who snore on this, your loss.
This was a topic that has been bugging me for a while. Ever since Columbine, even to this day, the fear of School Shootings similar to the crime, I believe was one of the downfalls of society.
Now before I get into this, I must stress that this is not meant to offend the victims or even the families of the shooters. In terms of the families, they have every right to be angry and sad about what happened, because let's face it, it was their children they lost in a pointless bloodbath. As for the families of shooters, that varies. If these people have intentionally abused their kids, which lead to them snapping and killing others, they are to blame. If these parents or other relatives for that matter, didn't realize their kid was gonna become this, then they have my sympathies. I know what it's like to lose family either way.
Now, while there have been shootings after the massacre. This specific event was considered the gold standard for many reasons, including but not limited to blaming many media for putting them up to it.
They blamed video games like Doom:
Which I gotta say, is pretty damn stupid to call this a murder simulator. The gun in the game is already sighted, compared to a real pistol or a rifle, it's too easy to shoot things with it. So calling it a training simulator would be asinine. If one were to blame anything, it'd be the later games, as they tried to make the weapons more realistic. But even then I think that's bullshit anyway.
They blamed movies like The Boondock Saints:
Which while so bloody and vulgar are not involved in things like this, because those characters are not villains, they're Anti-Heroes. They go after bad people. If they saw Dylan and Eric do their thing, they'd make them pray and they'd execute them.
They even blamed Music like Marylin Manson:
Which, while he is a controversial figure for other reasons, telling teens to kill other teens is not one of them....at least that I know of, the man himself is fucking creepy.
Point being is that because it happened around a time when many mediums started to show no filter, from violence to sex, drugs and rock and roll. And they were already slamming it anyway, so what's another blame after that.
That being said, the media did fight back. Starting with this very site:
Although there are many reasons not to show this, including but not limited to a certain musician, but when I first saw this, I had no idea what Columbine even was. All I thought was "Bad guy shooting school, good guy kills bad guy." And that's what it was, in it's simplest form. Pico was the Anti-Columbine, the rarity one trusts to have a piece with them incase others start shooting. While it was meant to be a controversial take on the subject, the impact he left gave many of us Newgrounds kids hope. And I thank @TomFulp For that.
As a result of said impact many popular shows and movies start taking shots at it:
Family Guy started it:
At first when I watched this episode I thought "How dare they? They're turning the situation into a joke." Which at first pissed me off, then I realized, that was the point. While it doesn't show much anymore, Family Guy like many other family sitcom shows like the Simpsons took inspiration from All in The Family:
Using Norman Lear's formula of making a controversial event, look stupid, so that no one takes it seriously and doesn't fear it anymore. The other show inspired by him:
South Park. On top of Cartman being a kid version of Archie Bunker, they did a whole story arc based on the recent shooting at the time. Now Trey Parker and Matt Stone are Colorado Residents, they were there when Columbine went down and even shared their opinion on it:
Granted this is from a documentary I hate, but at the same time, Matt Stone had a real opinion on the matter.
So when they did a story arc where the running gag is that School Shootings are their version of natural disasters, something bad, but nothing that bothers them. Now the aesop of the first episode entitled "Dead Kids" was that Sharon was in the right, that people should care that kids are dead in this. However, because of South Parks "Equal Opportunity and Discrimination." clause, on top of mocking the other side, that said side does have points. This was the same show that has had Aliens, A gigantic Barbara Streisend and Tom Cruise reek havoc on their town, so something as bad as a school shooting, would be Child's Play to them. It made me feel less worried about it, because they were telling people to stop worrying about it too much. Worry that it's your loved ones or the loved ones of a friend, but don't treat it like you're the only one that suffered a tragic loss. And considering these guys stuck with it during Covid, they know what they are talking about.
Now that was just problem number one with this specific shooting. Problem number two is the part that's been bugging me. Because a lot of people never been around the era's before, those that have seen it or heard it in the news, treat it like it's not only the first time they heard of a massacre, but also as if it was the first and ever ONLY school shooting.
Now at first I thought that was odd and as a result I decided to look and see if there were shootings or any kind of murder that happened in schools before. So I looked a list I found here. This is a list of every school murder that has occurred before the year 2000. To list off a few:
November 12 1840. The first ever documented School Shooting in the United States of America. It happened in Charlottesville Virginia. John Anthony Gardner Davis, a law professor at the University of Virginia school law. A respected teacher whom was shot to death because he tried to break up a fight between two students during a student riot which has been described as periodical. Considering it was the 1800s, I wouldn't even be surprised if it was a six shooter. But that always baffled me. Teachers are often on the block along with the students and this was the first time this was demonstrated. So for all we know this could have been the beginning of a curse or at the very least a massive amount of negative energy.
August 16 1856. Florence Alabama. The first documented time a teacher killed student to death. While the shooter and the victim don't have names on that list. The killing itself was petty save for the end. A schoolmaster, warned a student not to harm his pet sparrow. The student killed it by accident, resulting in the Schoolmaster, taking the student somewhere private and strangling him to death. The father of said student, went up to the school and killed him. Now considering this took place 9 years before Slavery was put to an end since Alabama, the reason why few talk about it inside and outside that state, is because at the time in comparison to this, more fucked up shit was going on, including but not limited to the closing 9 years of the American Civil War. No different than many wars going all over our world today.
This one isn't on that list, but it should be. I don't give a fuck whom was the shooter that time. May 4 1970, Kent State Univeristy. During a peaceful protest against the War of Vietnam. Yes that War. The protestors were shot to death by the Ohio National Guard. I don't care what people's opinion on the war was, that was wrong. Very very wrong.
But my point stands, there have been many murders as well as other crimes that happened to school before and the stuff post Columbine is no different. Every shooting invoked fear for those that paid attention to it, while the rest of the world was dealing with problems bigger than that, including but not limited to the many wars going on over the past centuries. But because Columbine overshadowed them all, based on the time and place it was going on, it was like to the people, that the other stuff didn't happen. When in actuality, it's been happening for as long as school, war and weapons have been a thing.
To put it bluntly we been warned, but we never got the message, because bigger stuff took higher priority. Hell, before Columbine, the first ever fictional media depicted involving teens shooting other teens was a dark comedy called Heathers:
To sum up the story. Think the movie Mean Girls only if both the Mean Girls and Cady Heron went to Columbine. At the time, people laughed at this movie, because they didn't think the idea of a teen snapping and killing other teens would happen. But the old comedy rule, as morbid as it sounds still applies "It's funny because it's true." Nowadays, people are struggling whether or not to remake this, due to the subject matter at the time. Hell many of the Anti-Media old timers, blamed this movie for inspiring Eric and Dylan. When if anyone actually bothered watching the movie, they wouldn't discover the Aesop. For starters, despite that clip I just shown, J.D. played by a then up and coming Christian Slater didn't use his gun on school property to murder those two Jocks. The gun had blanks, he got suspended (Which even back then is fucked up, but hey, 80s Comedy rules.) and most of the murders he and Veronica (Winona Ryder) commit were often off property or at the very least far away from the school. However the main theme wasn't to send some message in that way. Each person they both killed had it staged to look like Suicide the gun rarely involved:
That being said, neither School Shootings nor Suicide was the topic. The Aesop was that no matter what you do to fight back, the enemy often feeds off your resistance and gets stronger in ways you cannot imagine. Case in point, they murdered their classmates, staged it like suicide, but because the notes were well written, people saw them not as bullies, but as lost souls lashing out through obligation. Boosting their popularity. It's one of the reasons why I honestly think, even if said shooters were bullied, this would be a stupid way to go about things. Hell, before Veronica stopped him, J.D. was gonna blow up the school and leave the mother of all suicide notes, to make it look like as he described it "A woodstock in the 80s." The idea of bully and innocent student alike would immortalize themselves through a suicide bomb pact. Basically speaking, the movie was trying to tell people, that killing your bullies was a bad idea. Plus it didn't just extend to movies regarding the subject before and after. But also expressed the "Teenage revenge fantasy." in other ways. The ultimate example being Carrie:
Before Heathers, this was the ultimate Teenage Revenge Movie. Imagine this scenario. A quiet, shy, sometimes nice and fearful student. Abused by her parents, tormented by her teens and so unpopular that save for a few sympathetic people, everyone fucking hates her. Then one day, she has a chance at true happiness and is about to change her life for the better. Only for some petty jackasses ruining it for her, not just by humiliating her in a disgusting way, but also inadvertently killing one of the few people that was ever nice to her. Then she fucking snaps and kills everyone she lays her eyes on. Yet as justified as poor Carietta "Carrie" White, was in her revenge, she still died tragically, be it by her own hand or by the hand of someone else too scared to fight her directly. Sound familiar? There's a reason why I posted the same scene in all three different versions. When Stephen King wrote that book all those years ago, he was both ahead and back of his time. He must have at one point looked into school related murders in the past, even ones that don't involve guns. And while he does insist that the original 1976 Brian De Palma movie, is the better adaptation, so better he considers it better than his book, the other two hold a place in this too. The first one, was Pre-Columbine. The not so well received sequel The Rage Carrie 2:
Was released March 12 1999. 39 days before the day of the Columbine Massacre. It barely made it before then, because before it happened, much like Heathers, the hot button topic was teenage suicide and while the sequel is sloppy, I understood what they were doing at the time. Their way of bringing awareness to what was at the time the most talked about topic. Hell Columbine ended with a double suicide, so needless to say, this movie may as well have predicted how it was gonna end.
Which brings me to the new remakes. Between the 2002 remake with Angela Bettis in the title role and Chloe Grace Moretz in the 2013 role. The latter literally 10 years before this article has been written. Now while some of the fans of the original hated this movie I liked it for many reasons. Much like Carrie 2, they tried invoking stuff from the books that wasn't explored in the original film. Such as Carrie's extended powers. But most importantly, they were able to be more apt with their message, because of what happened in Columbine and the shootings that follow. The movies were warning about the consequences of teen revenge and no matter how much they hammered the point, not only did many of us not listen, but some of us humans blamed movies like this as the cause, which can be clearly seen as unbelievable bullshit.
But that's just problem number two.
The third and final problem is blame on a somewhat asinine source: The weapons used in the massacre. For context, Dylon and Eric used the following guns. Two 9MM pistols, one of which a machine pistol, two Twelve Gague Shotguns one of which sawed off, One Rifle. Needless to say the amount of firepower they purchased alone, was enough to start a small scale war. And that is not even getting started on the explosives and knives. The weapons themselves were purchased through fraud and other illegal means, that most law enforcement at the time wouldn't even expect. To to it off both firearms and other weapons alike were modified and customized in ways that it's not legal in that state. So needless to say even if there weren't stricter gun laws, if they got caught with one thing, the cops would have put them in jail or at least gave them some much needed court ordered therapy.
Now here's the thing that bugs me, while it was shown and told that they used other weapons on top of this, the only weapons that were blamed, were the guns themselves.
Now before I say what I'm about to say, let me make this perfectly clear. Save for watching action movies, I do not like Guns. I do not like having guns in my home, I do not like people bringing guns near me if I can help it. However, I know exactly how they work, how to shoot and even with something as small and somewhat harmless in comparison like a pellet gun or a nerf gun or even a simulated shooter like Wii or Virtua Cop, I'm a pretty damn good shot. And while there is a lot of Catharsis, killing video game characters in any way, I never once got violently mad and inspired by said games. I'm one of many examples that anti-media crowd does not want to talk about, because it tears a hole in their bullshit narrative. But getting a bit off topic. I don't like guns, don't want to use them, but that doesn't mean I don't know how one way or another.
And even if I was a gun nut, in my country, it's a lot harder to get a gun here than it is in the states and even here many guns are still sold illegally. In Canada, in order to get a license for a gun, you either need a Firearms License or a Hunting License. However it's not that simple, for both on top of the usual paperwork, you need to get a psych evaluation, to show that you are mentally capable of responsibly using a firearm for the purpose of hunting or home defense. And even if you pass, guns are a lot more expensive and there are more laws preventing you from even using one. To the point where even in self defense you could get charged with First Degree Murder, unless you got a really good lawyer or a lucky horseshoe stuck up your ass.
Now despite my dislike of guns, I do respect the 2nd Amendment, the right to bear arms. So it's a tear between my morality and my need to be lawful good even in countries outside of mine. However, that being said, while a lot of people in the states do not like gun control, even considering it unpatriotic, Gun Control is just as American as the right to own a gun. Case in point the Tombstone Incident. Among many things, the feud between the famous Earp Family and the notorious Cowboys, was sparked by the following things.
Paranoia. Although Wyatt has retired since the Dodge City Incident, among most things, many of the local Cowboys of Tombstone Arizona, were afraid he was there to bring Law and Order, due to his ferocity in battle and the legend that he never got a single gunshot wound. As later proven when Earp finally snapped and took out Curly Bill. All Wyatt and Fam wanted to do was settle down in a somewhat developed town, make enough money and retire, but these assholes kept pushing them, killing their family members out of spite and even threatening their wives. No different than how many wars small and big started. The definition of self fulfilling prophecy.
Even though Wyatt himself was out of the game, his brothers Virgil and Morgan became Marshals because they felt bad for exploiting a town already ravaged by crime. Which increased their paranoia even though Wyatt was trying to talk them out of it.
As an extension of 2, one of their first acts of town Marshall was to ban guns from being carried within town streets. Basically pioneering the Gun Control laws we constantly debate over. I repeat, members of the Earp Family, each one notoriously good with a gun and has a crack shot like Doc Holliday as their ally, were trying to ban guns on the town streets.
Now at this time guns were needed now more than ever. This was in 1881, 16 years after the American Civil War had ended. When people slowly stopped fighting each other state to state and slowly but surely came together as a country. Each state had their own rules and regulations, some of which still damn controversial like the Slave Trade (Which by the way didn't even get the 13th Amendment until 8 months after the war and is still talked about to this day), but at the same time had the common ground of peace and harmony. Even if they didn't agree with how to achieve it. So at the time when Virgil Earp did the first laws that eventually evolved into the Gun Control Debate, he did so in a way that appeased those that needed guns as well as weed out trouble makers:
Now while there were some still clamoring and disagreeing among the crowd. The majority of them weren't even the Cowboys. They were citizens so scared of them that they thought they needed at least a gun to protect themselves or die fighting them. Which back then was serious, but because they loved and respected Virgil's Predecessor Fred White, a man whom while a lawman was so well loved that the Cowboy leader Curly Bill was actually upset when he accidentally shot him after an Opium binge, that they would follow Virgil's word. Even think of said shooting as a factor into it. To put it plainly the innocent citizens would be outraged, but still follow the law. The only ones that didn't follow the gun law were The Cowboys, but not because they were defending the 2nd Ammendment, but because they were murderers, rapists, thieves and killers that gave no fucks what society thought of them so long as they keep doing what they did. So needless to say when one Earp wanted to ban guns in town, they wanted to shoot the entire Earp Brotherhood of course anyone who's either seen the movie Tombstone or any movie depicting the Earps for that matter, knew how that argument went:
Now bare in mind, save for Wyatt, none of the Earps ever killed anyone in a gunfight before. Yet despite that, they along with Holliday killed many in a fight many to this day debate which side started it. However they were there to enforce a law they just enacted. Virgil was leading the charge and the brothers and Doc were just back up in case things go wrong. The definition of Peace Officer. Yet rather than take the hint and the remaining members either surrendering or turning in their guns, they kept on pushing. They kept on pushing until it became an all out war.
Now while I am still on the side of Will Smith regarding the feud, I am reminded of something Chris Rock said when he was in Head Of State:
While he made many good points, he specifically mentioned this.
"How can you help the poor, if you never been poor? How can you stop crime if you don't know no criminals? How can you make drug policy if you never smoked the chronic?"
In case of my life, I live in a crime town, I seen first hand what drugs have done to people and I've literally gone from a spoiled brat from the sticks to a man whom because he's been put through the ringer and keeps on fucking going, is on the way to becoming one of the most respectable if not most dangerous human being in the fucking world. But that's just a glimpse of my life.
In the case of the Earps, they been on both sides of the law, used guns for many things and have witnessed many death and destruction on all sides. Much of which cost them their family's lives. So if anyone has something to fucking say about how guns should be handled it's that family. And yet even those who are fans of the Earps failed to understand their message. They fought so we never had to, but rather than take the hint, we fight in their place. We win some, we lose some. That's Life. But to blame it on anything other that pettiness, pointlessness or just plain fucking stupid things like Media, Personal Revenge and Fucking Guns themselves when other weapons could have done the same if not much more fucked up damage, is completely fucking stupid. Not only that, but a lot of people have not only use the fear to cause further fear along the line. But also exploited it for little more than profit and personal agenda. Even one of the most famous victims of the shooting, the mother whom did a story on her daughter's death, did so to profit and to put her personal, biased, religious based POV on why she thought they did what they did. She made money off her daughter's death that should have either been split among the loved ones or donated to the other victim's families. Making her an evil, manipulative disgusting bitch. But she's only the tip of the Iceberg. Many walks of life, from bad media, to corrupt politicians, used the fear and the confirmation of further shootings post Columbine to get ahead. Jack Thompson, being one of the prime examples. When you get right down to it, the post-Columbine fear became a staple of many scandals, scams and other things people bitch about regarding America.
In my personal opinion on the subject, I respect the legal right, but it literally would not kill you guys to give every legal gun purchase from Gun Shops, To Hunting Shops, to Banks, To God forbid Yard Sales, without at least doing a psych test as well as a background check and seeing if the guy may most likely snap and kill someone. It's not banning guns entirely you fucking gun nuts, just making sure they don't fall into the wrong hands.
But to make a long story short on everything, fear of the Massacre was an even bigger threat than the Massacre itself and that's how Eric and Dylan won in the end of their lives. They became immortalized, treated as martyrs and that's the example future shooters follow, because they spread the fear to keep it going. And it doesn't stop at schools. Shopping Malls, Movie Theaters, Casinos, Bars and Clubs and even Law Enforcement Facilities, GovernmentBuildings and your own neighborhood.
Now just after saying that I'm pretty sure I probably scared you, traumatized you and maybe even made you a little paranoid. If that's the case I do apologize, but there is a point to all this. Every place where these massacres are involved, are places where people are supposed to feel safe, be it through Education, Law, Survival and Overall Leisure. Yet as a result of many murders and even more, the fear and paranoia it spread among the populace, it made them feel unsafe to even be at home. However here's something I learned today. While I myself am not an Alcoholic, AA as well as it's most famous member Stephen King invoked it in one of the Novels I read a few years back. Doctor Sleep. Much like many of his books, King puts quotes in his chapters, as a subtitle. In the case of Doctor Sleep, which among many themes, goes into detail of how Alcoholics Anonymous operates, it uses two sayings that are really one full saying. But it's the Acronym for FEAR.
The first saying "FEAR stands for Fuck Everything and Run." While it applies to alcoholism's hold on a person, it also applies to other aspects of life. Moments where you should have been brave and instead ran the direction. I should know, because I used to be one of those idiots. Then there's the second saying. "FEAR Stands for Face Everything and Recover." Which is basically saying that being afraid is not a problem, but if you're able to face your fears and go forward in life no matter what traumatizes you.
In my case, I was initially afraid of going to the movies because if it could happen in Aurora it'd be most likely to happen in my town. But instead, I went to see Dark Knight Rises and never feared going to the movies again. Including but not limited to the last time I seen a movie in theaters before Covid hit:
Before that disaster hit, the biggest fear that another Aurora would happen, a fear so great that Aurora itself tried to get this specific movie banned from theaters, both to not trigger survivors and the victim's families. As well as not have a repeat of what happened, because they specifically blamed, The Dark Knight for the shooting. Yet when the movie hit the theaters, nothing happened. Despite all fears, nothing happened. Hell Frozen 2 had a more violent reception.
And rather than show praise it didn't happen, Press of all walks, were pissed it didn't because it didn't give them the money making chaos it was looking for. Some were accused of trying to start it or encourage it, but having the same luck as Chief Wiggum did when he spied on Homer and Marge:
It made me realize then and there that many press on all sides would rather capitalize on an attention seeking disaster than document the good sides of life. And when Covid did hit, they got what they wished for. When I said before that fear of the virus was worse than the virus itself, that was what I was talking about. Because in that fear, panicked people do stupid things, smart people keep a cool head no matter how difficult things can be and conniving people on all sides of life would capitalize on everything including but not limited to paying high price for toilet paper.
To make a very long story short, fear makes things worse than they actually are, take it away and it makes those things powerless.
Now the question is, this if you managed to read all that, which FEAR are you. The Fuck Everything and Run type or the Face Everything and Recover type? Let me know in the comments below. If you're the latter, than hopefully people remember Columbine as it used to be. A beautiful flower before it got trampled on by fear, controversy and dumbass mob mentality.
